Parents talk of seperating.....

[niko1999]

My parents, after almost thirty years, are talking of seperating. Ive always been proud of the fact taht I was not a statistic, that my parents were mountains and held it together, but today I found out taht they might seperate. I know seperation does not necessarily mean divorce, in fact, I know it can be the best thing for both parties, but even still. My mom is flying up here on teh 30th, the day after my surgery, and staying until april 20th. maybe this will count as thier seperation? March seems to be a bad month for relationships. This time last year Justin and I had problems, and he was thinking of leaving me, this month were having problems again, and I am thinking of leaving him, and now my parents on top of it all. I hope this is just a spell. Ya know, the Ides of March? And march is suppposed to either come in like a lion and go out like a lamb, or vice versa, well, it is going out like a lion. I just feel so lost, confused and alone right now. This is the last thing my mother needs becuase of her depression, she was recently in a home for that. On the bright side of things, she said that her and my father are getting along quite well. Im so fricking confused. Thanks for listening guys. Wish I posted good news sometimes. Well, I do have good news, I am having surgery in 5 days, and I CANT wait! Not only will I LOOK a lot better, but hopefully Ill feel better afterwards. And I graduate college in one month and 29 days!

[Arabess]

Think of it this way.....your parents stayed together during all the years leading to your adulthood. You are going to be moving out, getting married and having a family of your own in a few years. Why should they remain in a marriage which isn't making them happy....for the rest of their lives....when you aren't even going to be living there?

 

Should they be unhappy and unfulfilled the rest of their days? Ofcourse not. They have lived up to the family obligation and are now figuring out how they want to enjoy they rest of their lives. Obviously, they feel they would enjoy it more if they were not married.

 

I think throwing a guilt trip on them is unfair. You should be an adult and give them your blessings and support. AND THANK THEM for all the sacrifices they DID make through the years to give you a family which wasn't broken up until you were past your formative years.

[niko1999]

Arabess, I do appreciate your reply. But I am not throwing a guilt trip on them. Plus I have been away from home for over a year. i know you didnt mean to sound harsh in your reply, or perhaps I sounded childsih inn my writing. But Im sure things will work out the best none the less

[brashgal]

My inlaws split after 29 years of marriage. Turned out to be a good thing for them, both found other much more suitable spouses and they were quite happy, much nicer to be around at family gatherings. I hope things work out well for your parents also, whether they stay together or not.

 

Good luck with your surgery.

[cutiebabe]

Hi,

I know how hard it is having parents divorce (mine divorced when i was 13). My father moved to another state and i was made to lie to my mother until my father told her he was cheating, then my mother naturally divorced him. However i was never really mad at my father even though he was the one who cheated. Most of my friends have both parents still together so i didnt really have anywhere to turn and i had to deal with it myself (which is much harder).I went through depression and suicide, but in the end my mother found another husband (and that took alot of getting used to after it just being my mother and me) and i learnt to deal with the fact and accept that my mother was finally happy. (although i cant say im not scared that it will happen again)

I think you should just deal with it at your own pace and if you have friends that have been through it, talk to them because i know that it really helps to talk to someone who's been there n done that kind of thing. But anyway, best of luck with everything

Blessed Be.