justcolorado Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 my wife had a affair with my ex best friend. now she is back home with me and im very happy, but she continues to talk to this person and cant understand why i have anger issues. i have tried to talk to her about how this hurts me and she says they are just friends. they continue to talk on almost a daily basis. then when i come on this site she accuses me of talking to other women, i tried to explain to her that i am seeking advice but she continues to accuse me of sneaking behind her back. i love my wife and sorely want to save my marriage, but she feels that when i seek outside help i am seeking a nother woman. i have never cheated on her and could never bring myself to do such a thing. i need some advice on how i can win her heart back and to get to stop this sneaking behind my back with another man. 1. i do have anger issues 2. i do love my wife 3.i am hurt by this relationship she continues to have 4.should i be firm and demand she stops talking to him. 5.is this normal for a woman to continue to do this 6. am i wrong for trying to force my point? 7. what are some of the right things for me to do to get my marriage back on track 8. can someone please help Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 9. YOU ARE RIGHT! 10. If she doesn't stop, inform her the marriage is over. What she is doing is hurtful and disrespective. There is NO PLACE for that in a marriage. I can only imagine how upset you must be. I'm very sorry!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
InmannRoshi Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 Forget watching porn and jizzing on yourself at a strip club .... now THIS is cheating. Wow, she must really have a lot of contempt for you. She's really playing for keeps. Sounds like she's trying to destroy you. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
dkopp Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 Originally posted by justcolorado when i come on this site she accuses me of talking to other women, i tried to explain to her that i am seeking advice but she continues to accuse me of sneaking behind her back. This is a CLEAR case of projection. Very often when people are guilty of certain undesirable behaviors, thoughts or emotions (her) it is common for that person to project her fears onto you. By her accusing you of leaning on other women for support, it is a coping mechanism for her to overcome her own guilt for her actions. It is very common. Link to post Share on other sites
Author justcolorado Posted March 24, 2004 Author Share Posted March 24, 2004 thank you for the reply i did leave out that we have been married for two years and i have been verbally and physicly abusive and she has to some times. i have been ordered to go to anger mangement by probation and hope that by signing up today that i will get the tools to be more considerate towards her and show her how i really feel. i dont want to do wife bashing and that is not my intent, i just want some advice. Link to post Share on other sites
dkopp Posted March 24, 2004 Share Posted March 24, 2004 Sounds like you guys definitely need to be in marital counseling - to decide if there is a future or if it is time to say goodbye. Link to post Share on other sites
sportsloving Posted March 24, 2004 Share Posted March 24, 2004 Counseling for you both seems to be the best way. Wish you luck and hope things work out Link to post Share on other sites
Dug Posted March 24, 2004 Share Posted March 24, 2004 I agree with Arabess......give her the ultimatum.. it's either you or him,, and personally, if it was me it would already be over because I would assume she's thinking of him when she's in your bed anyway. In other words...even if you forgive, you'll never forget. I know you have feelings for her, and this is as bad as it gets...I've been there too. Link to post Share on other sites
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