A nerdy gamer girlfriend...no hope?

[Regal]

Hello.

Put simply, I've always wanted to have a girlfriend that enjoys the same type of stuff that I do. I know they are out there, but are very hard to find. I'm currently working and going to college. I really enjoy the idea of having a nice girl to share my hobby of gaming and such together, not to mention someone that would enjoy talking about nerdy stuff...it's just nice to share these things together.

Thing is I've tried the suggestions of giving other girls a chance. Meaning nongamer/nerdy ones. It just isn't enjoyable, things are usually one sided and we tend to have our own hobbies that the other doesn't enjoy.

 

I understand the concept of compromising as well. I've tried that too, basically trying to ease a girl that does not typically like the things I do into it, while I do the things she likes as well..it just doesn't work out and I don't feel happy.

In the end I would just be content with a girl that genuinely just enjoys these things like I do. For whatever reason I've simply never found this girl. They exist, yet I've never been able to find one that would be interested in dating me.

 

What scares me the most was some statistics I was reading the other day. I don't really know how accurate they are but apparently after the age of 23 (aprox) most gamer girls are already either married or have a partner.. It's incredibly disheartening to hear that. I'm 24, btw.

It's just hard being single and lonely and knowing that the kind of girl I would love to be with and share a happy and fun relationship for us both is just never going to come into my life. I don't really know what to do or what to believe, all I know is it feels really bad to think I'll never find "her"..

 

At times I would blame myself. I consider if what I want in a girl is just something I can't seem to have..I just don't see why I've never found her, I know those girls are out there, I just want one in my life. Aside from that one aspect I really am not picky in any other fields (besides the OBVIOUS stuff that anyone would expect from a lover; kind,loving,etc.)

 

[Mrlonelyone]

I can kind of relate to what you are saying. Nerdy girls can have allot of pressures put on them.

 

To be honest what you describe yourself as sounds more like being geeky. In that you have certain interest that are really deep and you want someone to share that interest.

 

I have only two bits of wisdom for you.

 

Having had relationships where a woman and I shared the same geeky interest they weren't ideal in any way.

 

Having had relations where the woman was geeky about something else they weren't ideal in any way.

 

In short no relationship is going to be non boring all the time.

 

My credentials for saying this: I am writing my thesis in theoretical cosmology and astrophysics. I have been into computers since 1984 when I was four and long before they were cool. I have had a number of "nerdy" girlfriends and found that they are just like any other women. Personality compatibility, and other social factors can make or break a relationship beyond shared interest.

[Cee]

I'm not a gamer, but a former wannabe. I was so socially awkward that I couldn't even break into the D&D scene. I used to watch people play D&D. I still cringe at the memory.

 

I have one piece of advice, "Get in the game."

 

There are tons of single gamer women out there. Tons. And they are dating through online games, sundry conventions "cons," board game competitions, free dating sites, etc, etc. Geeky, techy people have an advantage in dating sometimes because they are facile with locating information and making contact.

 

You can also "turn" a woman into a gamer. Gaming is really fun and diverse. She might like some of the gaming stuff. My guess is you would be compatible with a woman who likes to "do" stuff rather than go to dinner and have long talks.

 

Go get her...

[Ross PK]

I'd really love to have a nerdy gamer girlfriend. There is just something really hot about nerdy girls, as long as they're not prudes of course.

[Regal]

@Mrlonelyone:

 

You're right, geeky is probably more accurate..basic point, I'm a gamer but I also like other geeky subjects such as anime,cosplay,etc. (though not as much as gaming).

 

Thing is, I've never even had a chance to even be with a girl that has that same interest as me. Maybe for you it didn't work out with the similar interests, but for me it may be just what I need. I can never know until I have the experience and see for myself.

While not to put myself down, I consider myself a fairly boring person for someone to date that is NOT a gamer like me. I'm fairly intelligent but what I enjoy talking about and having fun with for hours with someone else is most deff. in the gaming field.

 

I've had friends that have gamer g/fs and they have great fun and have an enjoyable relationship, I get really envious of them for finding them. I've had gamer girls as just friends before in the past and I really enjoyed the fact that I could talk to a girl that had the same interest as me, girls that weren't forcing the interest or just trying to please me by "giving it a try". They just liked it naturally, like I do. They where either not interested in me however, or already taken.

[Duckduckgoose]

LOL! I am a "gamer" chick, have 6 systems, and play online games... been gaming since I could hold a controller

 

I never neglected my stbxH for gaming, and he was also a gamer... he loved Zelda, Fable, Chrono Trigger, etc.

 

I am not nerdy, but he kind of was. I am more rebel/jock looking. Most guys I talk to flip their lids when they find out I am a gamer. I also love being outdoors, mountain biking, rollerblading, etc. BTW, I am 27 and in the process of a divorce

 

But Imma shutup about myself... the truth of it is that gamer chicks are out there! They are! Don't be depressed! And they won't all be crazy devoted to games and shut you out (some might like some guys might shut a girl out for games). Most of the chicks I know that game are well rounded and sweet

 

One thing I never understood about females that DON'T game is that they get so ****ing mad when their man games. As long as he doesn't neglect the relationship for gaming (that would make even ME mad and I do game), then I don't see a problem. As a WoW player... I've found that a lot of husbands get their wives into WoW and it brings them even closer!

 

I think I will have an advantage when I get back into dating because I DO game, I do do outdoors things, I do shoot guns (important here in the south), and I am not a high maintenance gold-digger type.

 

Take heart! We gaming women DO EXIST and we are single! You will find yours, just keep looking!

[Regal]

Hehe, well..while you girls do exist, you are extremely difficult to find..at least for me.

 

I really don't know where to "look" I'm more of a fan of meeting someone in person as opposed to the e-dating scene. I've tried online dating and it's gotten me nowhere so far. Unless there's some insight to this I'm missing.

A friend used to tell me to camp out at a gamestop store (not literally, duh.) and to try my luck with any girls that are browsing the games...but that makes me feel like some creepy stalker, so I've never tried. At least at a bar it's encouraged (or at least an acceptable location) to be scoping out girls to approach...but at a game store? ugh.. And no I don't look for gamer girls in bars I don't even go to em.

 

I think I've only met one gamer girl spontaneously in person, which was in one of my college classes (my OLD college, my new one is very small and no girls seem like they are gamers from what I can tell.) either way she already had a b/f so yeah..didn't really work out to much.

[somedude81]

Cute gamer chicks exist.

 

Thought just because they may be geeky, doesn't mean they are any easier to get than other girls.

 

I found that out the hard way last year.

[Duckduckgoose]

Hehe, well..while you girls do exist, you are extremely difficult to find..at least for me.

 

I really don't know where to "look" I'm more of a fan of meeting someone in person as opposed to the e-dating scene. I've tried online dating and it's gotten me nowhere so far. Unless there's some insight to this I'm missing.

A friend used to tell me to camp out at a gamestop store (not literally, duh.) and to try my luck with any girls that are browsing the games...but that makes me feel like some creepy stalker, so I've never tried. At least at a bar it's encouraged (or at least an acceptable location) to be scoping out girls to approach...but at a game store? ugh.. And no I don't look for gamer girls in bars I don't even go to em.

 

I think I've only met one gamer girl spontaneously in person, which was in one of my college classes (my OLD college, my new one is very small and no girls seem like they are gamers from what I can tell.) either way she already had a b/f so yeah..didn't really work out to much.

 

You said you are into anime, cosplay, and gaming. Go to conventions. There are probably some near your area.

 

Yeah, dating people online is kinda scary don't blame ya there.

 

Also, since I had a brain fart... just because a chick doesn't "look" like a gamer doesn't mean anything! What makes a chick look like a gamer? Do they have to be wearing a gaming shirt? Do they have to be nerdy and pimply? Do they have to have wrist braces on for carpal tunnel?

 

Nobody knows I game unless they know me... I have a WoW shirt, and keep a horde insignia on my car keys, which I will flash to a person if they are talking about WoW or wearing WoW gear. Otherwise it's like a dirty secret

 

BTW, girls love Yoshi... if you want to find a gamer chick, get a Yoshi shirt. She will probably approach you.

Edited February 4, 2011 by Duckduckgoose
Cause I need to learn to finish my thoughts the first time.

[Eeyore79]

I play video games, I work with computers, I love sci-fi... I currently have a partner, but was single on and off until I was 30. I guess there are other women like me out there, but not lots, since I don't personally know any others. I'm proof that such women do exist though, and that they're not all taken by age 23

[ocasinoit]

Could someone pls tell me a trusted online casino?

[Regal]

I play video games, I work with computers, I love sci-fi... I currently have a partner, but was single on and off until I was 30. I guess there are other women like me out there, but not lots, since I don't personally know any others. I'm proof that such women do exist though, and that they're not all taken by age 23

 

 

Indeed, that's the thing right there as you said. There are other women like you, but not lots. I'm working against low odds. I remember a friend told me something amusing once when I asked them "how come I've never found my gamer g/f" he told me "well because she's locked up in her room playing games like you."

 

It really has some validity It all just winds down to a coincidental chance meeting where we are "out there" and happen to meet each other. Not counting typical class and work outings, since that's fairly common..though anything can happen.

It's just disheartening to know that what I seek is at such a low % chance than a typical "I want any type of g/f, as long as she's nice" that some other guys are content with.

I used to be content with any girl, but over time I've slowly realized this is the type of woman I can truly be myself with and can genuinely make happy. Not to mention I'm extremely attracted to geekyness in a female as well.

[Els]

I admit that it is harder to find us. It's really like looking for a guy who enjoys cross-stitching. I'm sure those guys exist, but, well..

 

As an extremely geeky woman, I myself have noticed very few eligible girls in the gaming community. I know probably at least a hundred gamer guys... and 5 or so actual gamer girls (sorry gals, Diner Dash and Mario Kart don't really count...). Of the 5, four are in LTRs, and one is single. Ironically, even though that one is probably the prettiest of us all, she's reknown for throwing keyboards around when she gets pissed off, so I can see why she hasn't had many takers.

 

You could start off getting to know them ingame and then meeting up in person at guild gatherings or whatever.

 

I hope you seriously think about why you want a gamer girl, though. Is it truly because you want someone to share your hobbies? If so, then great. But I think many guys subconsciously also are looking for someone who 'is low maintenance and lets them game as much as they want'. If you truly want carte blanche to spend all Saturday and Sunday playing 36 hours of games... just don't get a girlfriend, gamer or not. I learnt that the hard way in a previous R.

[Regal]

Well since I've never actually been with a geeky girl I can't say exactly how the experience would be like. All I want is a girl that genuinely enjoys these things like I do and would like to share them with me. Meaning we can play games together and stuff instead of going clubbing and getting drunk (which is all the rage where I live, to each their own really). It's really just to have similar interests so we each enjoy our time together doing what we like..being geeks!

 

Like I said earlier, I've had gamer girls as friends before..and it was really awesome. It felt great having someone of the opposite sex that had the genuine enjoyment for games that I have. All I need is a gamer girl that wants to take it to the next level, obviously if we both feel the "connection". Friends are great and all of course, but I've never experience a romantic interest with a geeky girl...and the idea sounds really wonderful.

 

Again, it's all paper and theory until I can actually have the experience...but at least the way It comes out in my mind, I think a girl like that would make for a very happy and fun relationship for the both of us. It just has to..well...happen!

[Els]

Again, I want to ask you - do you ONLY want to play games together (and have sex, of course). Or are you interested in doing that, as well as doing normal date-stuff with her - ie dinners, movies, walks in the parks, vacations, etc?

[Regal]

I *very* much want to do all of the above. That's what was missing with the girls that where friends. They had the gaming and general geeky aspect down nicely, but due to whatever reason (has a bf, just wants to be friends, not interested, married, etc) it could never grow to something more for us. The "something more" would involve those things. Going on dates, cuddles, and the typical stuff you'd expect in a loving relationship, mixed in with our already geeky nature.

[Els]

That's great. I wish you all the best, and I'm reiterating my advice: Nothing wrong with starting off online if they're geographically near and you can meet them locally soon. By starting off online I don't mean online dating, but just girls you know from online games/chat who live nearby.

 

It isn't by a long shot 'easy' though. I don't really know where people get the impression that geeky girls are supposed to be 'easy'. Because those people look down on geeks in general and geek girls more, I suppose. I can honestly say I've had more guys interested in having a relationship with me, compared to some other girls who are objectively prettier than me (and conversely, I've had less than other girls as well). I don't doubt that would not have been the case had I not been a gamer. We stand out somehow, I figure, and that makes it easier for us to get compatible guys (because the guys who realize our worth are most likely the guys who are like us, and thus have a higher chance of being compatible).

 

Okay, I digress. Good luck. Hint: You can set yourself apart from the crowd of geek guys by being non-creepy, non-desperate, and able to talk about things other than games.

[Eeyore79]

It's interesting to note that although I'm a geeky female, my boyfriend doesn't play games or otherwise have much interest in computers. Just because I play video games, that doesn't mean my requirements for a partner are any more relaxed than those of other women. I've found that the majority of gamer guys are losers with no social life, and occasionally no real career or ambition, plus they dress like a teenager instead of like an adult man. Despite my geekiness, I still want a sharp looking man with a good career and a decent social life - I want a man, not a boy. Something to think about...

[Citizen Erased]

I hope you do find someone. There is nothing more boring or pathetic than being ignored for a game to the rest of us that have zero interest in all of that. It's good you know what kind you want.

 

Good luck

[Els]

I hope you do find someone. There is nothing more boring or pathetic than being ignored for a game to the rest of us that have zero interest in all of that. It's good you know what kind you want.

 

Good luck

 

Was that supposed to be sarcasm?

[Citizen Erased]

Was that supposed to be sarcasm?

 

Yes Elswyth. I randomly came into this thread to make a snarky remark to someone that's really nice, just because he's a gamer.

 

Note: that was sarcasm.

[Ross PK]

I don't think every gamer would ignore their partner for a video game. If that's what you're saying.

 

I know I certainly wouldn't.

[Duckduckgoose]

I don't think every gamer would ignore their partner for a video game. If that's what you're saying.

 

I know I certainly wouldn't.

 

I never ignored my bfs or my stbxH for a game. I would plan my gaming either with them if we played the same game, or around them. When we had "me time" I would play a game he would play his game. When it was "us" time we would spend time together sometimes playing a game but mostly not

 

And saying that a gamer would ignore their significant other to play games is like saying that a guy into sports would ignore his significant other for whatever sport is on TV... or a girl into running would ignore her man trying to beat her fastest time, trying to run that extra 1/2 mile.

 

Being a gamer in a successful relationship is about time management. Sort of like any other interest and maintaining a successful relationship.

[Regal]

I always balanced game time with my g/f, or at least tried my best too. Since I've never been with a girl that likes them as much as I do, I would basically have to split the two. I'd play games for a time, then she would come over and we would go do something else, or go watch a movie, or go out, etc.

 

I remember once asking this gamer girl that was a friend of mine if she wanted to go get something to eat before class, but she said she was busy playing final fantasy X I think most would be dissapointed but I was like "...awesome I loved that game!" and we chit chated about it for the rest of the day via texts

[Regal]

One thing that kinda sucks is how there is no social gathering place specifically for this purpose...that is...for gamer guys and gamer girls to meet and possibly hook up. I know some have said conventions and such, it is true that geekyness is abound in such a place, but that's not the *purpose* of a convention.

Those places are just a big exhibition of anime,games,cosplay,etc. The intention behind it is not "hey, if you're a geek, come here and find your lover!" though anything *can* happen of course..and I agree with those that have suggested it, it's probably the best chance of a social gathering to meet gamer girls.

 

See, others have these two places known as clubs and bars. Clubs/bars are basically made for the purpose of meeting others and potentially hooking up (though as it stands most guys just want a one night fling, so it may not be an *effective* way to hook up, if you want something meaningfull). This is coming from someone that never goes to these places, but has friends that do...so I won't say I know from experience. But these places do encourage people to mesh with each other and find like minded people, be it for just sex or for something else. You could argue that these places are not for hooking up too, they are just places to dance/drink...but as I hear it (and it's hard to pretend it's not true) hooking up and such happen pretty commonly at these places.

 

Gamers...we don't have that advantage! The closest to a mingle and get to know other geeks type of thing is most likely a convention, but a convention's purpose is not to hook people up, though it obviously can happen.

LAN Cafe's are also another spot where gamers meet up, but not for the purpose of a hook up or the like, it's to play games.

 

 

Hmm..my apologies if this came off like a bit of a rant figured if I'm already getting it all out there, may as well touch on all bases.