Author worldgonewrong Posted February 28, 2012 Author Share Posted February 28, 2012 parenting update: (I'll boil this way down) Son brings me his less-than-stellar mid-term rep. card for me to sign last night. He didn't want to show the wife who usually signs these things. I stressed that he had to, for a variety of reasons and also tried to bring down his anxiety about it. Today, I email the wife a long (but not too long) email giving her a heads-up, offering solutions to help him, stressing co-parenting solutions so he doesn't triangulate, emphasizing how I can participate in helping him w/homework, making him feel less stressed, etc. NOTHING accusatory. What does she do? Fires back a one-line reply (paraphrase): "I'm aware of the situation. It's being handled." GAAAAAAH! Does she do this to drive me nuts? I have a lifetime (or half a lifetime) of this insanity to look forward to. EVERYTHING is verboten when it comes to discussion with this woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Author worldgonewrong Posted March 6, 2012 Author Share Posted March 6, 2012 Update to my Feb. 27 post: I am going to visit my female friend. Plane tickets purchased. This is a baby step toward clearing out years of memories of my stbxw. Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 wgw: Go baby go!!! Happy for you - enjoy life! Link to post Share on other sites
Author worldgonewrong Posted March 6, 2012 Author Share Posted March 6, 2012 wgw: Go baby go!!! Happy for you - enjoy life! Thanks, my man! Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 Right on and please report back. Link to post Share on other sites
jaymz Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 Have a great trip WGW. I sympatherise with the ex and co-parenting, its a real struggle and it doesnt help feeling like I am out of the loop on all things. Link to post Share on other sites
Author worldgonewrong Posted March 15, 2012 Author Share Posted March 15, 2012 (edited) not really an update- but a shout out to newbies and to people who initially coached me when I first landed on this board circa January 2011: For anyone going through this patch, YES, lawyer up. I'm so glad I did. Yes, the financial bit is draining and it is exhausting, but one DOES feel a lot better knowing you've got a professional looking at every angle. Sh_t's about to get real, yo. (Thank you to the people who coached me in the beginning. ALL of you. Initially, like every blindsided spouse, I didn't see the wisdom in that advice, but boy, I get it now.) Edited March 15, 2012 by worldgonewrong Link to post Share on other sites
Steen719 Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Hey, World, how was the trip????? Link to post Share on other sites
Author worldgonewrong Posted March 15, 2012 Author Share Posted March 15, 2012 Hey, World, how was the trip????? Haven't gone yet; it's not til early next month. But thank you for asking. trust me, I will report back when it happens. When I see my lady friend. (that one's for my buddy, marqueemoon4, to make him chuckle.) Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Still doing the recon LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Steen719 Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Ohhhhh....the anticipation builds. Link to post Share on other sites
Jstub Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 Good luck to you. Have a nice trip. Your story is very touching. Link to post Share on other sites
Author worldgonewrong Posted March 20, 2012 Author Share Posted March 20, 2012 Entry I wrote last night but forgot to post (p.s. my dad is fine, it seems): want to cry and scream. My dad was just rushed to the hospital by my mom - I suspect heart trouble. In the interim, I had to quickly text the wife to cancel dinner with the kids and also had to reply to her text seconds before the emergency about her request to have the sleep-over (with kids) on saturday. I texted that the weekend would be up in the air, pending this scare with my dad. She had the...brass to text back, "Ok, if you can't have the sleepover, then please find a babysitter." I texted back, "I'm not thinking of your weekend plans right now. THERE IS A CRISIS HAPPENING." dude, wtf?? I'm sick with worry about my dad going to the hospital, told her this emergency just occurred, and she selfishly wants to engage me in talk of her weekend plans. I want to throw up. Literally. Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 she sucks. f**k her. glad your father is ok. hang in buddy.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author worldgonewrong Posted March 20, 2012 Author Share Posted March 20, 2012 she sucks. f**k her. glad your father is ok. hang in buddy.. thanks, brother. agreed. I mean, who the hell DOES that? At this point, it's not about 'love' anymore; it's just common decency and good manners, for Christ's sake. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 thanks, brother. agreed. I mean, who the hell DOES that? At this point, it's not about 'love' anymore; it's just common decency and good manners, for Christ's sake. I've stopped asking the whole "WHO DOES THAT?!?!?!" question.. because the answer invariably is - MY EX WIFE. No matter how preposterous, treacherous, selfish or unconscionable. I expect nothing less. She's a bad person, period. Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Yes... this woman is evil. How f'ing rude can you be?! Geez. Sorry to hear about your father, hope he is ok! Link to post Share on other sites
jaymz Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 thanks, brother. agreed. I mean, who the hell DOES that? At this point, it's not about 'love' anymore; it's just common decency and good manners, for Christ's sake. I still ask myself that as my STBXW still does exactly this sort of thing... Shouldnt be surprised, but its like WTF! If its not a usual day for you to have the kids, then she needs to find babysitter. This is one of the reasons why I have decided to minimize contact with my STBXW and just stick to the schedule. Hope your Dad is ok. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author worldgonewrong Posted March 21, 2012 Author Share Posted March 21, 2012 thank you for the support, amigos. By the way, a random word for people who might be new here and are reading my thread for the first time - a word of advice: Do not look for 'closure' while going through your own heartache. It's not going to happen. Get comfortable with that reality as quickly as possible. 'Closure' is over-rated. What's more valuable is seeking out the new-ness of Life's possibilities, not chasing some half-assed last chapter for the book that is your dying relationship. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
findingnemo Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Just got caught up with your thread, WGW. Your W is in top form. I was hoping she had come to her senses but that doesn't seem the case. Hang in there. I'm glad you have a lawyer now and that your father is okay. Link to post Share on other sites
Author worldgonewrong Posted March 21, 2012 Author Share Posted March 21, 2012 findingnemo: yep, she's a pip. And thank you!!! Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Hope your Dad is on the upswing soon. Just a little thing that might sound like I am being Devil's Advocate: Yes her reaction was selfish, but the news also would catch one off-guard. I have brain farts like that sometimes. I once read about this guy who survived a plane crash: The plane had taken off in near-hurricane conditions and he figured that they shouldn't have left the runway. Anyways, the plane started going down and his brain just spat out: "I knew it, I knew it, I was right and now they've killed me" He was more focused on his "being right" about the situation then the obvious impending death where most of us would figure we have to make peace with our maker or what have you. To be completely honest: my husband told me about the escalation in potential conflict between the USA and Iran and the first sentence I spat out was: "oh great [the] gas [price] is going to go up." then I realized how self-focused and awful that sounded, it just happened to be where my brain went first but not necessarily a great reflection of my overall stance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author worldgonewrong Posted March 21, 2012 Author Share Posted March 21, 2012 that's good perspective, DOT. I'll grant her, um, 5% benefit of the doubt then. and thank you!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author worldgonewrong Posted March 28, 2012 Author Share Posted March 28, 2012 update of sorts: been plugging along. generally happy, with some bumps. This past weekend, kids slept over as usual. My son & I got into a bit of a verbal tit-for-tat -- he'd stayed up too late, nerves were frayed. Between one thing and another, amidst his upset he blurted: "And you & mom told be the biggest bullsh_t lie. When you separated, you said you would both work out your problems and try counseling. But you didn't. You lied to me! And I'll never believe you again!" He was in tears as he said this. Then, of course, *I* was distraught, because I didn't have the heart to say, "Your mom is the liar here. I wanted us to be back as a family, but she didn't fight for the family." Anyway, we bonded, we consoled each other - Christ, he consoled me (although I pulled it together as quick as I could). So...yeah. Emotional rollercoaster ride. Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 I'm sorry pal.. that kind of stuff is gutwrenching. I will say that eventually your son is gonna need AND demand the truth. Then he can draw his own conclusion, and most likely he's gonna resent his mother for a LONG time. Link to post Share on other sites
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