Yasuandio Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 (edited) I tuned in at 1:34 am, thinking something was totally really up on this thread. Only to find out you perverts are twisting chocolate around for some reason. Why aren't we booking a convention that could provide roundtables for such issues? Edited July 19, 2011 by Yasuandio Link to post Share on other sites
Author worldgonewrong Posted July 19, 2011 Author Share Posted July 19, 2011 updown: thanks, dude. :-) trippi: to extend the Gump/chocolates analogy, one could say that my wife realized I was made of coconut. [pregnant pause] No? OK, back to the drawing board. Yas: no real updates. just random stuff - 1. the other night when she dropped the kids off, I had to get stuff out of the trunk. She asked me if I had my spare set on me or "do you need the keys, sweetie?" Sweetie? I didn't react. Maybe her subconscious is attacking her. 2. Last night when she picked the kids up from the pool, she gave me a lift back to my folks' house. A nice unexpected gesture, likely motivated by the kids saying something. It felt weird and very sad being in the car. It was the first time in MONTHS that the 4 of us had been a close space together. I felt immense sorrow for my kids, but - weird - my wife was like a stranger driving the car; I didn't feel love or anger or anything. Someone I've known for 20 years. Still trying to sift through that one. Link to post Share on other sites
Tech_E Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 WGW; I have to wonder if you are in some way punishing yourself by interacting with her more than you have to? It seems to me that you are putting yourself through a lot of pain and most likely holding back your healing. Just a random thought. Link to post Share on other sites
Author worldgonewrong Posted July 19, 2011 Author Share Posted July 19, 2011 Tech_E: actually, I really don't interact with her all that much. My only dealings with her now are about kids and money. She's a closed book to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 wgw: Don't read in the "sweetie" thing. Meaningless, she is an idiot for even calling you that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author worldgonewrong Posted July 19, 2011 Author Share Posted July 19, 2011 wgw: Don't read in the "sweetie" thing. Meaningless, she is an idiot for even calling you that. trust me, dude, I don't read into ANYthing anymore. I just thought it was weird. Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 Good! You shouldn't. Saying that was certainly a weird choice for her to make. Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 Dudes, that's an endearing word, in most cases. I wouldn't say that to just anyone. And it's not dumb, when I hear it, I feel special. Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 Dudes, that's an endearing word, in most cases. I wouldn't say that to just anyone. And it's not dumb, when I hear it, I feel special. it was an accident I'm sure.. when speaking to my exPOS I said "honey" a few times.. it was because of familiarity. Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 I like that... exPOS. hahaha Link to post Share on other sites
Author worldgonewrong Posted July 20, 2011 Author Share Posted July 20, 2011 funny thing - (not funny 'haha'): Wife emailed me asking if I would split the cost of son's glasses repair (my cut would be like 20 bucks). At first I emailed blindly "sure, OK", and then I wrote back, "Wait hold up, I just gave you a check for 600. It should come out of that!" GRRR. Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 funny thing - (not funny 'haha'): Wife emailed me asking if I would split the cost of son's glasses repair (my cut would be like 20 bucks). At first I emailed blindly "sure, OK", and then I wrote back, "Wait hold up, I just gave you a check for 600. It should come out of that!" GRRR. oh yea, she'll try to dupe you out of $$... she's just getting started. don't fall for it, cause I promise you she'll try to guilt you and act like you don't care about your kids. Ugh i hate these women. Link to post Share on other sites
jaymz Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 funny thing - (not funny 'haha'): Wife emailed me asking if I would split the cost of son's glasses repair (my cut would be like 20 bucks). At first I emailed blindly "sure, OK", and then I wrote back, "Wait hold up, I just gave you a check for 600. It should come out of that!" GRRR. Its like we are all married to the same women. She wants like £900 per month child maintenance, then asks me to "contribute" towards things like the kids swimming lessons etc. At first i was stunned, then I asked her wtf i pay the maintenance for? No answer. Golddigger. Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 Its like we are all married to the same women. She wants like £900 per month child maintenance, then asks me to "contribute" towards things like the kids swimming lessons etc. At first i was stunned, then I asked her wtf i pay the maintenance for? No answer. Golddigger. THEY ARE ALLLLLLL THE SAMMMMMMMMME!!!!!!!!!!! Doesn't matter the locale, its hardwired into their brains.. the entitlement, the selfishness, the callousness. ITS SCARRRRY. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 She wants like £900 per month child maintenance. Lol, she can want a million pounds and a Bugatti Veyron, she's got about the same chance as getting £900 per month from you. Next time just reply with your lawyers number or email lol Link to post Share on other sites
updown Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 hmm, i don't know that people only use the word 'sweetie' as a term of endearment. i was at a restaurant with my kids once, and the young male waiter called me sweetie every single time he came to our table to talk to us..... my kids even picked up on it. asked me why he was calling me that!! i've been called dear too, and not by someone close to me at all! sooooooo and yes, if you give her child support each month. the fixing the glasses should come out of that! unless you have an arrangement or signed agreement that states otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
Author worldgonewrong Posted July 25, 2011 Author Share Posted July 25, 2011 (edited) belated thanks for your insight, updown. my update, such as it is, is that I've noticed that since I've become withdrawn and not 'sharing' (e.g. pics of the kids when I have them), she has become more sharing with me. I don't see it as a sign of anything, mind you. I'm just commenting on the psychology of not making myself emotionally available, and then see her somehow reacting to that by compensating for my withdrawn state in little ways. More importantly, my withdrawn state is not a ploy or an angle; I'm genuinely immovable right now, bereft of any energy in the tank to send her way. p.s. tomorrow is our wedding anniversary. Good God... Edited July 25, 2011 by worldgonewrong Link to post Share on other sites
starting2wakeup Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 tomorrow is our wedding anniversary. Good God... It's not an easy day to get through but you will get through it. I got through mine and at the end of the day it was just that, just another day. Stay strong WGW! Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 It's not an easy day to get through but you will get through it. I got through mine and at the end of the day it was just that, just another day. Stay strong WGW! please DO NOT BUCKLE AND TEXT HER!!! this is what she is expecting. Link to post Share on other sites
jaymz Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 It's not an easy day to get through but you will get through it. I got through mine and at the end of the day it was just that, just another day. Stay strong WGW! Mine is on 30th July. Hopeing it will be just another day too. Link to post Share on other sites
starting2wakeup Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 please DO NOT BUCKLE AND TEXT HER!!! this is what she is expecting. I would agree. I would not go out of my way to contact her. She may reach out to you but there is no need to sit around and reminisce about the past with her. She was the one who left and took away any meaning that tomorrow may have held for you. It is now just another day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author worldgonewrong Posted July 25, 2011 Author Share Posted July 25, 2011 No worries, my friends. I won't be texting her tomorrow. Like I said, I've got no emotional energy in the tank. Incidentally, she & the kids went to visit in-laws this weekend; I ended up pet-sitting (last minute request, which I was cool with since I desperately wanted to hang w/our dog) and spent a couple nights sleeping there (on the couch). Oddly enough, I didn't feel all devastated or heart-aching about the experience. Yes, I miss 'the family' and all, but I remember the 4 months of hell that preceded our split, and I feel...well, nothing now. I can't change the past but can only work toward a better future for me and my kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Tech_E Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 It'll be hard but it's just another day. Make some plans that day for YOU. Hang in there my friend, you'll get through this. Link to post Share on other sites
updown Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 (edited) don't text her, but not because she will be expecting you to and therefore you shouldn't. don't do it because, at least from this female perspective, she doesn't WANT you to text her on your anniversary. she LEFT. she might think of the day, but she doesn't want you contacting her and making something of the fact that you're not together........ my stbx did this our first anniversary after he left. he sent me a couple nasty and unnecessary emails. and all it did, was push me further and further away from him. you'll get through it. i promise. i have a picture of myself last year on our anniversary. it was an overcast day and i looked VERY sad :-( i was mourning a future i was never going to have, but not my marriage really. it wasn't a good marriage and the last couple years of it were really really bad. i was mourning the future i had wanted, but knew i was never going to have. fast forward a year. i was happy this year! the day went by and i barely even registered it as anything but another day. i am now looking forward to a future i never would have had if i were still IN that marriage. one that wasn't getting better and probably never would. i am an ENTIRELY different person this year than i was last year, and MASSIVELY different that i was 2, 4, 6, even 10 years ago!!! i wanted to go to the driving range this weekend. my stbx didn't have interest in doing things like that, even if it was with or for me. i ended up doing batting cages AND the driving range and i had the BEST time! i had never done batting cages before, and by some miracle i actually started hitting the ball after a while! i started ice skating again, something i did from age 4 up. my goal is to be able to do jumps and spins again within the year. again, i wouldn't have ever done this in my old life, my old marriage. one thing i ALWAYS wanted was a HUGE flat screen TV to watch movies and football on. my stbx would not let me buy one. he didn't want one. didn't watch movies with me or football. so, after a year of not living with him, i realized i could do it! i could buy myself one and have what i wanted. i saved up my money for a really big, really good one!!! and we LOVE LOVE LOVE it!! i no longer mourn the loss of my future. i am making a much better one for me and my kids!!! we are UN FREAKING STOPPABLE! and i plan on making sure they know that they should never give up who they are. NEVER! just keep moving forward. still praying and rooting for you!!! :-) Edited July 25, 2011 by updown Link to post Share on other sites
Author worldgonewrong Posted July 25, 2011 Author Share Posted July 25, 2011 Tech_E: thank you for the encouragement. updown: trust me - won't text her tomorrow. Also, I like your time-lapse story; it gives me hope about what's beyond all this sadness & disappointment. Link to post Share on other sites
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