workinggirl Posted March 24, 2004 Share Posted March 24, 2004 I am divorced due to the fact my ex-husband had another woman. Now, I have become the person I said I would never become, the other woman. We started out as really great friends. We shared everything together. Then one day he tells me that he has developed strong feelings for me. I guess you could say he caught me at a very lonely time in my life. But, I also had the same feelings for him, but never intended on acting on them due to the fact he was married. I tried to blow it off and act like he never said anything until he asked me one night how I felt. I couldn't lie. There is such a wonderful chemistry between us and I gave in. He tells me that he knows we belong together and that he wants to leave his wife, but he is afraid to. He tells me that I am his everything. And to be honest, he is everything I have looked for in a companion, except the married part. I love this man with all of my heart. And as wrong as I know this is, nothing has ever felt so right. I tried to walk away, but I couldn't. He asked me to give him a little more time and things will work out. But this is getting harder and harder everyday. I know he loves me because I know him and I can read him. But the stress of this whole thing is really bringing me down. I don't want to be without him, but at the same time, I can't keep on doing this. He tells me he is afraid to leave due to the fact that his wife can be somewhat vengeful and he's afraid of her finding out about me and then her doing something to me. My life is such a mess right now and I don't know which way to go. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted March 24, 2004 Share Posted March 24, 2004 Originally posted by workinggirl My life is such a mess right now and I don't know which way to go. With ALL that is within me.....let me assure you.....until you get deeper into this affair....you have NO IDEA how big and bad a MESS can really be. We've discussed it over and over if these AssClowns mean anything that they say. When they are saying it....maybe they do. The bottom line is this though....they ARE NOT going to leave their wife and you are going to get sucked in so deep.....finding yourself again will be the greatest challence of your life. I urge you to read every single OW post. You'll run into story after story which is just like yours. Afterwards, his words won't sound so clever and your heart won't feel so special. Please get out of this while you still have the energy to do so. This isn't a judgement call. It's a 'saving your life' call. Arabess Link to post Share on other sites
saintfrancis Posted March 24, 2004 Share Posted March 24, 2004 Originally posted by workinggirl He tells me that he knows we belong together and that he wants to leave his wife, but he is afraid to. He tells me that I am his everything. And to be honest, he is everything I have looked for in a companion, except the married part. I love this man with all of my heart. My ex-MM said the same things to me. His words were more like, I am the only good thing in his life where everything else is poison right now. That may be true, I don't know. Like Arabess said, they may mean what they say WHEN THEY SAY IT, but it really has no staying power, for witness the outcome. Has my ex left his marriage after 2 years of being with me? No. And the separation that was supposedly initiated by his wife earlier this year? Oh yeah, "she decided to hold off for now." That is, IF she ever started it in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
gypsycat Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 workinggirl, that sounds almost word for word what the guy I was involved with said to me. You sure it's not the same one At the end of the day though after saying all of that, I left my husband, my job, my life and moved across country and then he decided he didn't have a spine, and couldn't really leave his marriage. Pity I didn't spot that earlier. Arabess is right, you have no idea how big a mess you could be in if you keep it going. I'm sorry it's probably not what you want to hear but I suspect it's true. Link to post Share on other sites
onthemend Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 It is a week today that I last saw and spoke to my mm. I am hurting like hell but I'm sure in the long run the pain and angonising over whether I did the right thing will be worth it. Workinggirl - Please don't get anymore involved than you already are, as the deeper you become emotionally the harder it is to think clearly and logically. Like you I was betrayed by my ex husband and vowed I would NEVER do the same thing to another women - but hey when you fall head over heels with a man who at the time is SO perfect (except for that he belongs to his wife and children) its difficult to say No. I have learnt a huge lesson from this and hell would have to freeze over for me to ever concider having anything to do with anyone who is other than single. Arabess - Do they mean what they say or do they just say it because they think its what you want to hear??? Anyway today is another day when I hope he doesn't call the office (we work for the same company) so i don't have to politely pass the time of day with him and then want to go and throw up because i'm so miserable! Link to post Share on other sites
overseas2004 Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 Wow what a lame and unoriginal excuse he gave you. He is afraid only because she is vengful and may do something to you. So this one doesn't even have "the kids" as an excuse. The thing that makes all of this more unforgiveable is that you know exactly how it is to be in her shoes. And that is exactly what you should do to help you get out of the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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