singlelife Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 My last 3 seroius gf have all tryed to come back to me after we broke up. They always dated immediately after we broke up and seemed to have fun and do no contact with me. Then they contact me to try and get together. At first it seemed they would just try to be friends and maybe have fun and that be it since it didn't work out before. Each time they presented our getting together just as wanting to have fun but when we met they shared how they missed how I treated them and the other men they dated didn't treat them like i did and they wanted another chance. Each time I was shocked because I was over the past and move on. Each time it was weird because I wasn't in love with them anymore. So my question is do women just have to chase what they think is the ideal situation before they open up their eyes and see what reality is. Before they left because they felt I was messed up but then they came back they felt that I was the greatest thing since sliced bread but it was based on my same behaviors and actions. What's up with that?
Mrlonelyone Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 Some people only want what they can't have. Some people don't appreciate what they have when they have it. Perhaps you treat them too well. They get the idea that you will be pining for them...when you seem to have totally moved on that bothers them.
Author singlelife Posted February 5, 2011 Author Posted February 5, 2011 Some people only want what they can't have. Some people don't appreciate what they have when they have it. Perhaps you treat them too well. They get the idea that you will be pining for them...when you seem to have totally moved on that bothers them. Maybe that's it that they thought I would always want them. They seemd totally stunned that I didn't want a relationship with them anymore. I moved on. I explained that I did those things because I was in love at the time but I am not in love anymore. And even if we tryed to date again we would have to start from suqare one and if the sparks aren't there they don't get the royal treatment. That's normal. You would have thought I stole money from them how they went off.
Woggle Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 Some women simply want what they can't have. The less you want them the more the want. Find a woman who simply wants to have a healthy relationship instead of spending energy on the drama addicts.
Author singlelife Posted February 5, 2011 Author Posted February 5, 2011 Some women simply want what they can't have. The less you want them the more the want. Find a woman who simply wants to have a healthy relationship instead of spending energy on the drama addicts. Like I said I didn't get back with them. And yes you are right. Once you open that door again the more you try to get away the more they try to get with you. And yes they go from being nice women to drama stalkers. Weird. I am also hoping to hear from women on this. it hasn't just happened to me.
daphne Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 Like I said I didn't get back with them. And yes you are right. Once you open that door again the more you try to get away the more they try to get with you. And yes they go from being nice women to drama stalkers. Weird. I am also hoping to hear from women on this. it hasn't just happened to me. Single, I've rarely heard a guy talk about this. I usually hear it from the women. I'm guessing you're young, and the girls may not have had a lot of experience to know that being treated well is a good thing, not to be taken for granted. Guys tend to take women for granted at any stage in their lives, and that's why I hear women complain about it a lot. Personally, the majority of my exes have come back for the same reason yours did. I was good to them, and no one else was ever as good. My ex husband is still stalking me on facebook hoping I'll talk to them. But I'm with you. It's over, and if you can't appreciate me while I'm around, good luck to you finding someone else like me! Don't take it personally. It sounds like you're doing the right things and all you can do is develop your radar for a girl who's got her act together, knows what she wants and is healthy and mature. It's funny but mrlonely was right. They did think you'd be pining to get back with them. Wake up call!
Author singlelife Posted February 6, 2011 Author Posted February 6, 2011 Single, I've rarely heard a guy talk about this. I usually hear it from the women. I'm guessing you're young, and the girls may not have had a lot of experience to know that being treated well is a good thing, not to be taken for granted. Guys tend to take women for granted at any stage in their lives, and that's why I hear women complain about it a lot. Personally, the majority of my exes have come back for the same reason yours did. I was good to them, and no one else was ever as good. My ex husband is still stalking me on facebook hoping I'll talk to them. But I'm with you. It's over, and if you can't appreciate me while I'm around, good luck to you finding someone else like me! Don't take it personally. It sounds like you're doing the right things and all you can do is develop your radar for a girl who's got her act together, knows what she wants and is healthy and mature. It's funny but mrlonely was right. They did think you'd be pining to get back with them. Wake up call! Thanks Daphne. But I have dated since those girls and had lots of good experiences. I have had girls who we just call it off and we are still cool. I have found out if you do treat women good and are lots of fun word gets around and the good girls come out. But the 3 I am referring to just were like stalkers and wouldn't take no for an anwser. And yes I think they felt I would just act like I did when we were together. They never had to interact with me without me being in love with them. So it was like I can't believe you aren't in love with me. I was like....uh, we haven't dated in a long time, love takes nuturing. Duh. Anyway it got really juvenile. But I do appreciate your opinion as a woman. Thank you
Eddie Edirol Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 Some women cant be alone. They HAVE to be in a relationship for various reasons. So when they dump you for someone else and they get dumped, they come back to you to avoid dealing with the void, and they want to use you as a rebound. Had you started dating them again, they would dump you again for the same lack of attraction reasons. Then they stalk you because you have become a challenge again.
Author singlelife Posted February 6, 2011 Author Posted February 6, 2011 I guess you're right. Even though there was no way we would get together because I moved on. I guess I was still seeing what more women had to say on why they behave this way. We'll see.
Author singlelife Posted February 6, 2011 Author Posted February 6, 2011 You dont know what you have till its gone. this seems normal
sally4sara Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 Well you're always going to meet people who take the drama route to figure out how you felt about them. I think sometimes tho, if one person wasn't very communicative about their feelings and the other stepped away because they didn't feel valued, checking in post break up is an attempt to see if they were right in that leaving wouldn't bother the other at all. See that it doesn't helps them move on. Seeing that it does could have them wanting to get back together. Maybe if someone is able to show that they really do value the other, the break up and peeking in on the wake they leave is less likely to happen.
Ross PK Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 Is it you who has always finished with these women first, or have any of them finished with you first?
Author singlelife Posted February 6, 2011 Author Posted February 6, 2011 Is it you who has always finished with these women first, or have any of them finished with you first? mutual in one because we were miserable, she broke up in one because we didn't get along, a and the other i broke up because she kept being selfish.
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