For OW/OM who made it to a legitimate relationship with MM...

[pureinheart]

Hi there, Mine did.... after 6 years. It was a long, painful 6 YEARS.. We have been together now 6 months, officially.. looking back... I would say run! I had met a sm during NC. I broke that off for mm. My mm did get a D and now he lives with me. The first month was exciting, we finally were together. After that has been a rollercoaster ride. We now had daily life to play with. The adjustment was very hard. I was set in my ways, and he in his. I noticed things about him that I had never seen in the 6 year A. He was moody, he was controlling...and there were times I actually threatened to throw his butt out. After 6 months, things are just now falling into place. Its getting easier. Was 6 years worth the wait??? No Im not feeling that anymore... I kinda envy the wife today...lol,, She has her bills paid for by him, she lives still in her huge ass home, works part time, and has him babysit when ever she wants. What did I get? I got him! I got the side of him I never got to know until he was free. I got his laundry, I got his mood swings, I get to cook dinner, Yup I got the whole shabang. You know the saying..... be carful what you wish for , you just might get it! Lol Good luck sweetie....

 

Certainly going through this was not a piece of cake...BTDT...although I have to ask, why are you with him? You sound like you hate it?

[BeachBetty]

Okay. How did you measure that? What was your sample size? Was it a cross sectional or longitudinal study? Where can I find your results?

 

Well, you don't have to go very far.

 

Just start looking in the threads here and in infidelity. You'll find the same results...

 

Check out threads with Karma and bus in the title...They're usually filled with fantasies about AP's meeting their doom...

[mustardsinlggaevl]

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[bentnotbroken]

Well, you don't have to go very far.

 

Just start looking in the threads here and in infidelity. You'll find the same results...

 

Check out threads with Karma and bus in the title...They're usually filled with fantasies about AP's meeting their doom...

 

 

Which is only representative of the people here....not ALL BS. Some of us think that the people in our situations should end up together so they don't screw up others lives.

[Brokenlady]

I got a legitimate relationship for 2 years after he moved out and it was AWFUL. He flip-flopped, he lied, he betrayed me, and did nothing other than break my heart. I broke it off with him many times only for him to come crying back saying he'd finally gotten his head together and would never hurt me again. In fact, he just came to my house today making more false promises again, proposing again, and I've just had enough- and I sent him on his way.

 

He only left his wife because I left him. We got engaged after he divorced. When his xW found out about the engagement, he lied to her about it, yelled at me because she found out and slept up at her house. 10 months later he still treated me like a mistress, and slept up at the xW's house again bc of an "emergency". Please.

 

With guys that move slow, especially ones that aren't self-motivated, I don't think there's much hope. RUNNNNNNNN!

[TinaniT]

We are not married yet but are making wedding plans. He left of his own accord very quickly, started taking legitimate action before he told me he was taking action.

 

I would not have waited that long. Wouldn't have been able to handle it - wouldn't have had the strength to handle the stress that comes from starting a life together after all that; my reserves would have been too low.

 

If you don't know he loves you now, find someone who does. Please. Everyone deserves that. Good luck.

[MorningCoffee]

просмотр гей порно видео с большой грудью все о сексе и любви секс инопланетянкой онлайн видео девушка у гинеколога порно русских онлайн реальное порно видео российское домашнее порно видео видео порно извращения групповое лесби бксплатно онлайн порно с берковой бесплатно ебать взрослых видео порно онлайн трансов ташкент фергана секс порно эротика порно видео ролики садо мазо секс под водой фото секс в жизни 30 летнего мужчины бисексуалы порно видеоролики скачать бесплатно все о сексе и фото секс с трупами видеоролик секса с конем порно фотки мадонны изнасилование целки где скачать хентай сосущие малолетки фото онлайн секс девочки русские блондинки порно видео маленькие порно фото каму за 35 видео анимэ эротические порно рассказы северус смотреть порно с секретаршей лесбийские порно ролики онлайн русское домашнее видио онлайн ролики порево групповушка фото смотреть порно большие сиськи онлайн бесплатно скачать порно ролики транссексуалами

 

You can say THAT again!

[tami-chan]

I got a legitimate relationship for 2 years after he moved out and it was AWFUL. He flip-flopped, he lied, he betrayed me, and did nothing other than break my heart. I broke it off with him many times only for him to come crying back saying he'd finally gotten his head together and would never hurt me again. In fact, he just came to my house today making more false promises again, proposing again, and I've just had enough- and I sent him on his way.

 

He only left his wife because I left him. We got engaged after he divorced. When his xW found out about the engagement, he lied to her about it, yelled at me because she found out and slept up at her house. 10 months later he still treated me like a mistress, and slept up at the xW's house again bc of an "emergency". Please.

 

With guys that move slow, especially ones that aren't self-motivated, I don't think there's much hope. RUNNNNNNNN!

 

Exactly. If the MM is not self-motivated, then really, do yourself a favor and cut yourself loose, as you are unhappy with the situation.

[pureinheart]

Well, you don't have to go very far.

 

Just start looking in the threads here and in infidelity. You'll find the same results...

 

Check out threads with Karma and bus in the title...They're usually filled with fantasies about AP's meeting their doom...

 

No you don't. Not rocket science knowledge IMO...

[bentnotbroken]

No you don't. Not rocket science knowledge IMO...

 

 

The fact is it isn't science...it is opinion, conjecture and whatever else, but to be called science results should be able to be replicated or proven wrong, IMO.

[pureinheart]

Exactly. If the MM is not self-motivated, then really, do yourself a favor and cut yourself loose, as you are unhappy with the situation.

 

I personally think the AP's know in their hearts whether the person is for real or not.

 

Every situation is different though, like mine, having a ridiculous D where (in this case he was more than fair) there was a lot of bitterness and hate going on...which she had 20/20 vision for everyone else but was unable to see any of her "wrongs".

 

It was hard for me to relate to exSO during his D because none of my ex's were vengful...they knew they were as responsible for the D as I was...everyone accepted their own responsibility.

 

Bitterness clouds an individuals ability to see things clearly IMO

[pureinheart]

The fact is it isn't science...it is opinion, conjecture and whatever else, but to be called science results should be able to be replicated or proven wrong, IMO.

 

If this makes you feel better, then I completely agree with you. You win:)

[bentnotbroken]

So do rose colored glasses:cool:

[bentnotbroken]

If this makes you feel better, then I completely agree with you. You win:)

 

 

I wasn't competing. What were you competing for? I always feel pretty damn good:laugh:

[pureinheart]

We are not married yet but are making wedding plans. He left of his own accord very quickly, started taking legitimate action before he told me he was taking action.

 

I would not have waited that long. Wouldn't have been able to handle it - wouldn't have had the strength to handle the stress that comes from starting a life together after all that; my reserves would have been too low.

 

If you don't know he loves you now, find someone who does. Please. Everyone deserves that. Good luck.

 

My advice to Polks or anyone in this situation would be to live life one day at a time. I expect life to be a particular way, although in any R we have to understand that many things could happen.

 

I would advise anyone to not make any one person your "everything" meaning, have your own life and if need be pick yourself up should disaster occur.

 

If it's a shakey deal, then see it for what it is...

[pureinheart]

Hi there, Mine did.... after 6 years. It was a long, painful 6 YEARS.. We have been together now 6 months, officially.. looking back... I would say run! I had met a sm during NC. I broke that off for mm. My mm did get a D and now he lives with me. The first month was exciting, we finally were together. After that has been a rollercoaster ride. We now had daily life to play with. The adjustment was very hard. I was set in my ways, and he in his. I noticed things about him that I had never seen in the 6 year A. He was moody, he was controlling...and there were times I actually threatened to throw his butt out. After 6 months, things are just now falling into place. Its getting easier. Was 6 years worth the wait??? No Im not feeling that anymore... I kinda envy the wife today...lol,, She has her bills paid for by him, she lives still in her huge ass home, works part time, and has him babysit when ever she wants. What did I get? I got him! I got the side of him I never got to know until he was free. I got his laundry, I got his mood swings, I get to cook dinner, Yup I got the whole shabang. You know the saying..... be carful what you wish for , you just might get it! Lol Good luck sweetie....

 

Mino.... I thought about your post, and saw the post in Kismets thread...you own him nothing, he sounds abusive...is there anything he does for you???? Really. This isn't how it really is or should be...Talk to us more...please...

[donnamaybe]

Wow, is that so? How did you calculate it to come up with this result? 1.25%?

Maybe she read all the stories about A's on LS, counted how many there were, and then divided by the number that actually turned into a R.

 

Seriously, it is VERY rare indeed, if you go by this forum and for those I know IRL. And if you've been with this guy for 4 years, I'd say slim (if even that) to none.

[donnamaybe]

Hi there, Mine did.... after 6 years. It was a long, painful 6 YEARS.. We have been together now 6 months, officially.. looking back... I would say run! I had met a sm during NC. I broke that off for mm. My mm did get a D and now he lives with me. The first month was exciting, we finally were together. After that has been a rollercoaster ride. We now had daily life to play with. The adjustment was very hard. I was set in my ways, and he in his. I noticed things about him that I had never seen in the 6 year A. He was moody, he was controlling...and there were times I actually threatened to throw his butt out. After 6 months, things are just now falling into place. Its getting easier. Was 6 years worth the wait??? No Im not feeling that anymore... I kinda envy the wife today...lol,, She has her bills paid for by him, she lives still in her huge ass home, works part time, and has him babysit when ever she wants. What did I get? I got him! I got the side of him I never got to know until he was free. I got his laundry, I got his mood swings, I get to cook dinner, Yup I got the whole shabang. You know the saying..... be carful what you wish for , you just might get it! Lol Good luck sweetie....

While I have to say I'm sorry for you that things are now NOT as you envisioned, I also have to commend you for telling the truth here. Not many would.

 

Would you then say it's a fair assessment that has been made here often? That an A isn't what many deem as a "real" R because you only see parts of your AP? The parts they want you to see? That's certainly what it seems from your post.

[OWoman]

I also have to commend you for telling the truth here. Not many would.

 

I think all of us are telling the truth about our Rs. For those of us who landed with our bum in the butter, that truth might be harder for outsiders to swallow - but it makes it no less truthful. I think the OP needs to hear ALL truths, not just those that some posters find more palatable than others!

 

Mino - good to see you back, btw

[herenow]

I

And I'm not surprised that the only M stories that posters on this forum want to hear are ones where the AP's are unhappy in the M and cheat on each other or leave. No BS WANTS to hear that it did turn out happily ever after for AP's. That hits just a little too close to home.

 

Well, I can say with 100% certainty that you have not read posts from every BS.

 

IMO, there are many successful relationships that start out as affairs where no one knows how the relationship got started. I think many people get divorced when there is an OW and the OW appears to come into the picture post divorce, when in fact an affair existed during the marriage.

 

There would be no statistics about this since the truth is only known to the two involved. I truly believe a MM in love with an OW will leave.

 

If you have read threads from every BW, you would see that most do not want to stay married to a man who loves an OW. Most of us BW would rather move on and find true love of our own. How the relationship goes between the xH and the OW is not usually at the top of a BW's list of importance.

 

If the posts you read state what you say, then that is how that situation turned out. However you will see many BW congratulate OW when a man in love does indeed leave to be with the woman he loves. I know I have posted congratulations when that has happened.

 

If this thread was about a MM who left to be with the woman he loves, it would prove that MM do leave. Like I said, most BW would want that to happen if her H loved an OW.

[Confused4Now]

Hi there, Mine did.... after 6 years. It was a long, painful 6 YEARS.. We have been together now 6 months, officially.. looking back... I would say run! I had met a sm during NC. I broke that off for mm. My mm did get a D and now he lives with me. The first month was exciting, we finally were together. After that has been a rollercoaster ride. We now had daily life to play with. The adjustment was very hard. I was set in my ways, and he in his. I noticed things about him that I had never seen in the 6 year A. He was moody, he was controlling...and there were times I actually threatened to throw his butt out. After 6 months, things are just now falling into place. Its getting easier. Was 6 years worth the wait??? No Im not feeling that anymore... I kinda envy the wife today...lol,, She has her bills paid for by him, she lives still in her huge ass home, works part time, and has him babysit when ever she wants. What did I get? I got him! I got the side of him I never got to know until he was free. I got his laundry, I got his mood swings, I get to cook dinner, Yup I got the whole shabang. You know the saying..... be carful what you wish for , you just might get it! Lol Good luck sweetie....

This has been my biggest fear if xMW would have finally done what she was suppose to. There was so much lying, gaslighting, manipulation and so much others to list. Of course she's said she knows she's unhealthy but she's been going to group and individual therapy. She has actually started the filing for the D paper work. I keep her out of my life meaning I don't see her or talk to her. It's mostly email. I often think can I put all the crappy stuff behind me or not. Not sure. Mino I do remember you story totally. Please do whatever it takes to make you happy. I'm very happy cause I didn't make my xMW my whole life. I made my kids and my family my life as well as my hobbies.

 

Good luck and hugs....

[Owl]

Is there anyone out there who actually had a happy ending with their MM/MW...is other words, you ended up in a legitimate relationship?

I have been with MM for nearly 4 years and I love him. I want a life, a real life with him. My question to those of you who have gone down this road is this...how did you get to this point? Did it happen naturally? Did you force it? Did you give an ultimatum? Did MM/MW finally fall in love with you? Is there hope?

 

It happens. We've seen a couple of stories along these lines here on LS.

 

The concern I'd have for you is that it doesn't seem to be a common occurrence after a LONG TERM affair like the situation you describe.

 

Typically it seems like the relationship that you have is what the MM is really after...one where he's having his emotional needs met by both women at the same time, rather than truly wanting to leave one to be with the other.

 

I'm not saying that the "legitimate relationship" outcome is impossible for you...but I'd say that it's pretty unlikely at this point, and probably something you should seriously consider. Is he REALLY going to take steps to change the situation after all the time/opportunity he's had already? Or is he "comfy" where he's at?

[Mino]

I know I need to start a thread on this, but really dont have time at the moment, heading out of town. But I will say this... Its not been easy. The first month it was the hoonymoon phase. Then... when we did argue, I had to listen to the fact that He claims I cheated, since I was seeing a sm during NC. Thats stupid in my op, since he was married, and I did break it off with MM. But the idea for him that I was with someone else drove him nuts.. Our life of coarse changed when he moved in. Now we had a different schedule. After work, he has no time for "us" he want to see his child. Sometimes its 30 min, sometimes 2 hours. On his day off, he babysits... His ex works part time, so some days he brings the child to school, other days he picks up. These are now daily issues. The evenings belong to us. By then, he is exhausted. I just took a 3 week vacation, by myself. He couldnt be away that long... So " time " is a problem. I feel there is not much for us. Money... sore subject. He pays around 6000 a month to his w. I didnt ask for anything at the beginning, he has been doing work around the house. But I opened the subject up a month ago...I guess its pretty tight, after his alimony & support, he pays me now 700. He is cranky, moody... I understand... a D is not easy... but he has a short fuse, and I feel he is angry he has to pay so much. During the A, we didnt have these issues. I knew they would come, but knowing and going through it are two different things. Im getting resentful, I feel still second, or maybe third. I am now cooking on his schedule, laundry, cleaning up after him, Joy? lol, not much time for it... Of coarse we have our moments, there are nice times too. Overall, I think had I understood what all comes with it, I would have not gone these route. Do I still love him, yes, Does he love me, yes... but that does not change the fact of all these issues that comes with a divorced man. Sorry for threadjacking Kismet, i just had to claify, will start a thread soon.

[Confused4Now]

I know I need to start a thread on this, but really dont have time at the moment, heading out of town. But I will say this... Its not been easy. The first month it was the hoonymoon phase. Then... when we did argue, I had to listen to the fact that He claims I cheated, since I was seeing a sm during NC. Thats stupid in my op, since he was married, and I did break it off with MM. But the idea for him that I was with someone else drove him nuts.. Our life of coarse changed when he moved in. Now we had a different schedule. After work, he has no time for "us" he want to see his child. Sometimes its 30 min, sometimes 2 hours. On his day off, he babysits... His ex works part time, so some days he brings the child to school, other days he picks up. These are now daily issues. The evenings belong to us. By then, he is exhausted. I just took a 3 week vacation, by myself. He couldnt be away that long... So " time " is a problem. I feel there is not much for us. Money... sore subject. He pays around 6000 a month to his w. I didnt ask for anything at the beginning, he has been doing work around the house. But I opened the subject up a month ago...I guess its pretty tight, after his alimony & support, he pays me now 700. He is cranky, moody... I understand... a D is not easy... but he has a short fuse, and I feel he is angry he has to pay so much. During the A, we didnt have these issues. I knew they would come, but knowing and going through it are two different things. Im getting resentful, I feel still second, or maybe third. I am now cooking on his schedule, laundry, cleaning up after him, Joy? lol, not much time for it... Of coarse we have our moments, there are nice times too. Overall, I think had I understood what all comes with it, I would have not gone these route. Do I still love him, yes, Does he love me, yes... but that does not change the fact of all these issues that comes with a divorced man. Sorry for threadjacking Kismet, i just had to claify, will start a thread soon.

Thank you for sharing Mino...this is the stuff that needs to be posted cause we never see enough of this when two people start coming together. I do get what your going through. Which is why it best that OM/OW step out till the divorce is final. Sure makes it easier when you don't have to see the who grieving process of the MM/MW.

[donnamaybe]

Thank you for sharing Mino...this is the stuff that needs to be posted cause we never see enough of this when two people start coming together. I do get what your going through. Which is why it best that OM/OW step out till the divorce is final. Sure makes it easier when you don't have to see the who grieving process of the MM/MW.

Another thing, and I might be grilled for this and, perhaps, rightfully so, but it's a fact of life: If you met a newly divorced man who was paying $6,000 a month in support to the ex and kids and had very little time for dating, would you even bother?

 

However, if you've already invested your emotions because you met and had time WHILE he was married because he was lying to the wife, and he had plenty of money because it wasn't all going to child support and/or alimony so that wasn't a sore spot at the time, you're already hooked by the time these developments occur.

 

Another good reason to NOT get involved in an A. At least, once the divorce is final, you know what you're getting yourself into both financially and time wise.