You have to get this book, It's great and it helps!!

[miscel]

Okay, well I went to a thread (I can't find it now) and someone on there was talking about a book and he could he mail it to you. It's called "How to get your Ex back".

 

The person e mailed it to me and Just by reading it I could tell there was hope. Not just to get my ex back, but in the event he didn't want to come back, it will help you to build confidence and feel better about yourself to where you are going to be just fine without them or you may find that you are better off and don't want them.

 

I have already begun the process of what it tells you to do. I am making no contact. Well in my case I am making no contact as much as possible becuz we have an 8 month old baby together that he comes to visit. Anyhow, already when I talk to my ex I make sure that I sound happy and just fine. Absolutely no begging, pleading or any talk of the relationship that's gone bad. Nothing but simple conversation and talk about the baby.

 

He just called tonight and I sounded just that, happy and that I was doing good. Ya know what, I honestly believe I felt a bit of wonder in the tone of his voice. Like he was thinking "why isn't she still crying or upset." Honest to god. And also, he was actually the one who sounded down and not so happy. So this just might work.

 

One of the assignments you have to follow is to start working out at least 30 minutes a day, everyday. And I did a 45 min yoga workout tonight and it felt really good.

 

See what you are trying to do is get back that attractiveness that your ex found in you the first time you met. You get him to desire you and want you back. It's not a guarantee, by all means, but it is very hopeful and like I said, in the long run, you may find that attractiveness in yourself again and not even want him back.

 

I totally recommend trying this but you HAVE TO FOLLOW ALL THE ASSIGNMENTS. Give it a try.

 

Good Luck.

[jenny]

i am interested

 

but i'm worried you should be reading "why the hell would i want unstable ex back" instead :S

[dolphinsunshyn]

I could use a confidence boost right now, nonetheless. Thanks!

[Heartfelt]

Originally posted by dolphinsunshyn

I could use a confidence boost right now, nonetheless. Thanks!

 

Hey gorgeous, just flash that pretty smile of yours while you're out and I'm sure you will get that boost every day

[Tony T]

It's too bad people won't get out of the mentality of wanting exes back. If a person has expressed they don't want to be in my life anymore, their wish is my command and it's granted in grand style. There's simply no way I can rationalize trying to get somebody back who doesn't want to be with me. It doesn't make sense in most circumstances. Unless there was some kind of misunderstanding, I'd rather let somebody I love go and move on to find a mutually satisfying romance with somebody who really wants to be there.

 

I just don't want to expend the energy trying to get people back who have clearly told me they don't want to be around me.

[Heartfelt]

I wish it were black and white like that Tony, but I think in most cases, it isn't. You go through sorting out what went wrong in your head, and while doing so, the person contacts you or something, and then you start wondering "this might work if we talk about it more"; especially if its still early in the breakup. Theres so many variables. How long have you known each other? How long you have been together? How much did you confide in this person? How deep did you fall for this person? Do you both have mutual friends and hangouts where you will see each other from time to time, but not plan it? Was the argument that caused the break up a first or second argument?

 

Sometimes too, you just feel so compatible with someone and its hard to let go. You've been out with others, you know what you want and what to look for, and then that one just comes along and it's real hard to accept that it just isn't going to work out. I told a girl one time that she only has to tell me once that I'm not wanted. And I stick by that rule, but when she called telling me how much she misses me and wants to see me, I couldn't resist. Now if it was something like this going on more than once, then I would move on. But sometimes people realize what they really had after they lose it. Set them free is what I say; if they don't come back then it wasn't meant to be.

[sinkerswim]

I would love to know the name of the book...my only problem is..I am nowhere that my boyfriend goes.

He doesnt really go out much where I could see him or run into him.

 

Is there something in there that can help with my situation?

[miscel]

Well, ya know it would be fabulous if all people were as strong as you are, Tony. Unfortunately we are all not like that.

 

If people read everything I wrote in my thread, they would see that it's not all about getting back there exes, which is where most people are in this forum. Wanting to get their exes back. What I found in the book was hope of getting back my ex BUT also, in the mean time I will be working on myself. Choosing not to feel so bad everyday, not to dwell on my ex. It's hard to explain what the guy writes in his book. It's basically a book where you have to follow everything he tells you or nothing will work. He focuses on helping you get back your self esteem and confidence that you are a great and beautiful person whether the ex comes back or not. ALSO THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES THAT THIS BOOK WILL BRING YOUR EX BACK. You just have to read it. It's encouraging overall.

[lost_in_chgo]

Turning your back and walking away without feeling any emotion is not necessarily a sign of strength.

 

It can be a defense mechanism to keep from facing your true feelings. Or it can mean that the person just doesn't invest their emotions into a relationship. Or it can be a sign of someone who is extremely self centered.

[dreaming4ever]

Hi miscel,

I'm new here as of pretty much now. I was moping around and looking for sites about breaking up and trying to get back with my ex or get over him...anyways, I read your thing that said you have that book and i would SO appreciate it if you would send it to me! I wanted to post my own thread saying what happened in my relationship (that ended a week ago) but I can't cuz I'm still waiting for this website to send me my first email so i can confirm or whatever.

[Stiletto]

Is the book's name "how to get your lover back? "Blase Harris.

 

Or, "How to get your ex back"

 

Which is it? If it is the second one what is the name of the author, how can I acquire it?

 

Thank You

 

Stiletto

[fishman3226]

I got this book and it is very good. It also allows you to settle a bit and grow youyrself as a person. And alkso a good thing how to get your ex out of your mind.

 

A friend of mine mentioned to me how I seem to be getting over her so well and have a better outlook om life.

[hurtingandconfused]

It's too bad people won't get out of the mentality of wanting exes back. If a person has expressed they don't want to be in my life anymore, their wish is my command and it's granted in grand style. There's simply no way I can rationalize trying to get somebody back who doesn't want to be with me. It doesn't make sense in most circumstances. Unless there was some kind of misunderstanding, I'd rather let somebody I love go and move on to find a mutually satisfying romance with somebody who really wants to be there.

 

I just don't want to expend the energy trying to get people back who have clearly told me they don't want to be around me.

 

Amen!

 

P.S. the book is no good. Let fate decide your life.

[sid3]

I think there is just as good information on this forum as there is in that book. If it helps people, then I guess it is a good thing. But it doesn't say much about an x that has completely cut off communication. I agree with hurtandconfused, let fate decide, but keep in my that ones actions often deterime one's fate.

[spanky]

Please help me. My boyfriend of 9 months just broke up with me with no warning. We had a terrifyingly functional relationship. We never argued, if either of us had any concerns we were honest and open with them and always found solutions to the issues at hand. We are both goal oriented, and strive for what we want. We are both mature and stable adults who have both experienced emotional traumas. He jokes that we had found each other in the second-hand bin. He is the man I have dreamed of sharing myself with since I was a little girl. He is the man that I asked God to bring me. It was a dream come true when I found him.

 

I have a full plate right now in my life because I am a 29 year old, full-time nursing student, mother of a 5 year old and I work 30-40 hours per week. I also contribute to taking care of my handicapped sibling. So, dating is not the #1 priority in my life at this point in time. I made it absolutely clear to him when this relationship started that I have had a VERY rough past and although I'm a tough little cookie I am not willing to fall for someone only to have them rip my heart out and hurt me. My responsibilities are too great for me to have to deal with something like that. I feared I was a rebound because his wife of 1-2 years walked out on him last March and they finalized the divorce in Oct.

 

F.Y.I. (rough past? Death of long-term boyfriend, and 5 year imprisonment of my daughter's father when I was only 4 months pregnant.)

 

Soooo.....He charms me, wines me, dines me, reassures me, confides in me, I confide in him, he makes incredible love to me, and successfully breaks down my guard to the point where I open up like I have never opened up to a man before. I love him dearly, and I completely bared my soul to him. Well, he is military and deploys for months at a time. It's tough but at least we could email all day every day while he was gone. Something changed after this last deployment.

 

I allowed myself to make him one of my priorities in my life and felt as though he wasn't reciprocating. Well, when I confronted him via email he reassured me some more that we had plenty of time and not to rush it. He said our relationship was not disposable. He said he could see my daughter and I in his future and wanted to form a bond with her. I am overprotective of her and I will not incorporate her into any of my relationships with the opposite sex in fear of her feeling abandoned in the event that things don't work out so the two of them are not close. She just knows that Mr so and so makes mommy happy. He even started to prepare me now for the fact that he will be transferred in July 2005 for Graduates school. He wanted me to be willing to continue in a long-term relationship.

 

Well, he came home 1 month ago and and all the hopes that I had built up while he was gone suddenly began to fade because he was acting distant. I confronted him 2 1/2 weeks ago as to what was going on and he said that he needed time to decompress after being on a ship with 250 people. I made a huge mistake by telling him that I am falling in love with him. I also communicated that I knew his emotions were moving at a different pace than mine because he is still wounded from his wife walking out on him and that I was willing to be patient and help him work through whatever he may be dealing with.

 

He addresses all my concerns with grace and says he's willing to give me more of his time. Well, things were wonderful up til 2 weeks ago Fri. By Mother's Day they got really wierd and I'm making a fool of myself by calling him and calling him. He blows me off over and over again. I call and confront him again as to what is wrong. He reluctanly tells me that he is in a "funk" but it has nothing to do with me. Three hours later when I'm wanting talk to him and help him figure put why he feels so "funky," he says that he had been thinking about "us" all week and that my feelings for him were way stronger than his for me. He bluntly blurts out that I just don't light that flame inside of him, and that I just don't do "IT" for him. He did tell me that physically I turned him on unlike any woman ever has before but that he just didn't see any point in continuing a relationship just to see if his emotional feelings would change.

 

I am so devastated, and I can't imagine my life without him. I tried to get him to talk about it but he has completely shut down on me. Not to mention that I know his ex wife has been begging to see him. He said he'd prefer a bullet in the head to being back with her. He's says that he would like to be friends. I've gotta get him back. I love him. He admitted that he doesn't know what he wants right now and I think he's afraid. I also admit that I smothered him with alot of insecurities as to where our relationship was going.

 

Can you send me that book? PLEASE!!! I need this man in my life. I call him my perfect Mr. Wonderful.

 

Does anyone have any advice? Do you think there's a chance that this will work out? Thanks!! Spanks

[peter011]

I have read both of these books. What they will both tell you is to drop the neediness. They may be encouraging, but the bottom line is that you cannot make anyone love you back. Basically these books help you move on in the event that you don't succeed in getting your x back. The ebook actually tells you to go on three dates within three weeks. You may find some of the suggestions useful, but as far as helping getting your x back I think time and no contact would be a better method. Let go.