lastresort Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 I don't know where to start. My wife of 9 years left me last week. She left the house and left me with our 2 boys. She is going to divorce me and she says I just beat her to the ground. I know i wasn't the best husband and she knows she wasn't the best wife. We tried counseling in 2009 and it worked a while and i made some changes and she made none and after time i fell back into the same old self. She works 4:30am-1:30 and i am self employed and put my business on the back burner to help raise our kids and most my actual work is usually weekends and evenings, i am a wedding photographer, i would go to the office after she got home to finish to take care of the some work, she would get home and take care of homework and stuff like that. She would go to bed at 7:30 so we really never saw each other and we were not very intimate in the past 4 or 5 years, i usually had to beg to have sex, then when we did have sex she wasn't into it cause she was too tired, so it wasn't very fulfilling for either of us. She moved into her moms house and I am 100% sure there is no OM, and there has never been any infidelity in our relationship. I still love her and she says she still loves me, of course just not IN love with me. I know it kills her to have left the children with me and only have them after school and on the weekends at this point. Of course there is more but I figure this is enough to get some of this out there and like i said i am not saying it was all her fault I know i could have been a better husband. But how do you get a wife back that tells you that you need to move on and moves out of the house. Link to post Share on other sites
2010_Sorry Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Unfortunately, you both have history going against you both. It sounds like neither of you took your marriage seriously back in 2009 and that is why you are where you are today. To make this relationship work, you have to change who YOU ARE... now. You will need to accept how you acted toward her, how you responded to her and how you pulled away from her. This evaluation will allow you to grow and recognize that behavior in your next relationships so it will not happen again. Granted, I am not saying that your wife was perfect, but at this point, you cannot control her behavior. If you start working on making yourself a better person... for you... she may see that and want to give your marriage a shot. I do think, however that it is much more difficult to rekindle a relationship once someone moves out. I wish you the best! Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 I am 100% sure there is no OM, and there has never been any infidelity in our relationship. You need to find this out for sure. If there is, it's a totally different ball game. I'm sad to say it, there most probably is OM Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 . But how do you get a wife back that tells you that you need to move on and moves out of the house. It can be done, but it needs a TOTAL reversal of your behaviour, even then the results are not guaranteed. however worst case scenario, you become a better person without her. Best case you win her back and become a better person. Link to post Share on other sites
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