zackzane Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 I know, its an odd topic, I think at least.. but that's pretty much the basics of it. I don't know what it is about her, but she sort of has a magnetism towards befriending gay guys. There is something about the personality of them, or the idea of them being gay that just pleases her and entertains her so much, she always seems so happy to talk to them and be with them. I'm not saying she doesn't enjoy the time that her and I spend together, because I believe we do. As odd as this is for me to say however, I'm kind of jealous of all the gay guys, as they can provide something for her that I'll never be able to. It isn't how they talk to her, or anything, just in general their experiences in life, how they can tell a story to her, that kind of thing, and that's not something I'll be able to do for her. I even told her this, this a little tiny party of me wished I was a flamboyant gay man, just so I could entertain her as they do.. now she knew I was joking, so its not like it was weird or anything, but still. In addition to this, a few of her better gay friends are extremely flamboyant, and a tad exhibitionist. Apparently 3 times in the past week, she's been shown the penises of 3 of these better friends, literally because those friends showed them to her. I don't get it, does that not seem totally strange that she would be glad to sit there and look at naked photo's of her best friends, gay or not, and expect I shouldn't have any issues with it? I told her I'd prefer that my penis be the only one she'd see. Not because I'm self-conscious and am worried I wont' stand up to what those guys got or anything, but just because I find the whole idea behind it totally bizarre. I need to know what you guys think, whether I'm kind of right in thinking its weird, and if its normal for me to be a bit jealous about the relationships she has with these guys. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 She most likely hangs around with them because she considers them "safe". She gets to hang around with guys without any fear of them having ulterior motives or trying to get into her pants all the time. Nothing really wrong with that I don't think. Yes they provide her with something you can't, but that is true with every relationship and friendship. Each friend provides something different; no one person (even SO) can provide everything. If they can then you would lead a very isolated existence. But showing penises is another matter. How would she feel if you had a lot of lesbian friends, and they showed you their genitalia? I very much doubt she would be so accepting. It is extremely inappropriate. Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 ahhhh, the old, he's a gay guy talk. watch your butt. lots of women have tried to convince their bf's that the guys were gay. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 So, OP, why not hug these gay guys whose penises you've seen and look them in the eye and see what's what? Time for a dinner party. One suggestion. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Looking at a penis crosses the line big time. This is total disrespect to you and your relationship. This is way beyond the line. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 That's just tacky. When she told you this, did she sound weirded out or just found it hilarious? I think they just think she might find it as visually stimulating as they do and like the idea of being teases? If they're really gay, its not done to be directly disrespectful to you, rather it feeds their ego, but because it has no regard for you at all its pretty damn rude. Or worse, they hope she will bring them home to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author zackzane Posted February 7, 2011 Author Share Posted February 7, 2011 I guess I'll clarify a bit.. these guys are DEFINITELY gay, I've met 2 of them before.. and no, she's not weirded out by it at all, and thinks there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. Its not like she was asking to see it.. one of the guys has done some modelling, and initially they were looking at those photo's, then it just sort of led to showing his nude modeling photo's.. The other 2 are actually a couple, and one of them was showing her pictures of the other, just flipping through the photo's on his phone, and then suddenly came upon photo's of his own, like 'oops!'. I'm not concerned about her jumping into their arms or something, but I mean, there are a lot of gay guys who are very experimental, and she's a very friendly person, I just kind of worry sometimes that maybe the other guy would make a move just for fun, and she wouldn't find it in appropriate 'because he's gay' or something.. Its probably unrealistic for me to that think, as me and her have a very trusting relationship, and she and I both know that it would be completely wrong.. but heck, throw in a few drinks, and ya never know...? But yea.. I just found the whole photo thing sort of crosses this disrespectful line that you guys have mention. Her defense is something along the lines of 'I couldn't help it, they just started showing me, what do I do, say no?'.. of course i said, yea.. say no lol... Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 OK, maybe I'm old and out of the loop but I've *never* seen, taken or collected naked pictures of friends, friend's wives, female friends, my exW's female friends, straight, gay or bi-sexual. What's up with that? OP, it is *possible* for a bi-sexual male to be in a relationship with a man and still 'fancy' women and cheat on his partner with a woman. That he 'appears' gay due to his same sex partner isn't always definitive. Perhaps this is a good time to discuss appropriate boundaries so as to clarify each of your perspectives. Hope they match up Link to post Share on other sites
Author zackzane Posted February 7, 2011 Author Share Posted February 7, 2011 Haha, you're not out of the loop.. it's still something that to most of us makes sense.. Lets just say she's a very unique person with a very unique life.. I'm not saying that absolves her of it.. but yea. I've already talked to her about it a few days ago and told her how weird it was, which she doesn't think it is. I asked if I was in her situation with a couple lesbian friends, if it would bother her, with her response being that its a totally different situation, because guys WANT to look at that, whereas she just ended up getting shown it. Link to post Share on other sites
Questionis Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 I'm friends with lots of gay guy and they are outrageous. I know its a picture of a naked man's penis but they probably see her as one of the boys, except they are gay and they shag boys and consider girls safe. yeah, its not good but you can do lots of things with her that they can't. You can be sweet and romantic and make her heart melt when she sees you, and you can hold her hand in the rain etc. But really she should gt the hint that it makes you uncomfortable and see them less Link to post Share on other sites
fltc Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 I guess I'll clarify a bit.. these guys are DEFINITELY gay, I've met 2 of them before. I've known several gay men and not ONE OF THEM has not had sex with a female, not ONE OF THEM will not have sex with a woman again! The idea that gay guys are safe for females is absolute nonsense, they're safe only in that they won't form an attachment but casual sex? You damn betcha! One of my gay friends has screwed more women than anyone else I know... Link to post Share on other sites
wbr4p Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 gay guys are fun and fashionable, they always give the best compliments that u know is probably sincere because they arent just saying it to get into ur pants (as a girl). also they can be quite frank, if they dont like something about u. im not speaking for al the gay people, but it can get pretty catty among girls and less catty among straight girl/gay guy friendships. my gay friends have not shown me their penors tho, but i wouldnt put any malice on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author zackzane Posted February 8, 2011 Author Share Posted February 8, 2011 I'm sure there's no intent on the part of the guy's doing it towards me, probably just an oversight on their part. Just a combination of the fact that they don't even recognize, combined with my gf's lack of recognizing that is crosses lines that shouldn't be crossed, is what bothers me a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
Shocking Pink Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 I have gay guy friends and I've seen the penises of a couple of them. One, just because we were drunk and he had to go pee, and one because he wanted me to check over some naked pics of him that he wanted to send to a guy, to make sure he looked hot and didn't have any boogers or anything, and one because he just wanted to show off a new piercing. It felt the exact same as looking at my girlfriend's new nipple ring or watching the door for her while she peed or changing in a dressing room with her. Link to post Share on other sites
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