jmargel Posted March 24, 2004 Share Posted March 24, 2004 What I noticed on this board with alot of the posts about breakups, etc.. Is the lack of communication, but more importantly the 'power-struggle' that goes on between the two people in the relationship. Either by the way we talk or non-verbal communication towards the other. Its most apparent when the relationship starts to end or has ended. One partner will try to grab onto the other for dear life because they are afraid of losing them, which only pushes the other away. They usually wait too late and the one who's been getting the bad part of the stick has reached a point of no return. So no matter what the other partner does, it's not about to sway the mind of the other. If you truly want a successful relationship you can never get too comfortable enough with your mate to the point of taking them for granted. Even if you think things are going well, your partner may be thinking otherwise. Just by any little comments you make to your mate, adds up over time such as a snide remark, comment, etc.. For you men, women LOVE to hear about how beautiful they are, but also how sweet, etc.. You don't have to write love letters to them everyday, but if they are dressed nice, make a nice comment about it. Show them they are appreciated as well. Little things go a long way! Even in a relationship where you are married for 20 years, it doesn't make a difference. People still need to hear good things about themselves. Do yourself a favor tonight and ask your partner if there is anything that you are doing that they would like to see different. Or if you have done anything that has upset or hurt them. I bet you might get a surprising answer. Be sincere when you ask this. Show trust in them, without trust how can there be love? Guys, don't ask your girl 'why are you wearing that kinda outfit' if she is going out without you. Women like to look good just for the heck of it. Its a self-confidence booster. Trust them that they would turn down any guy that approaches them, and feel good knowing you have something that other guys would want. Women, trust your guy in looking at porn when he wants to. They are images, nothing more. When we push the 'off' button, we don't think about it anymore. If a guy is truly happy even if he looks at porn, he would still choose you over the girl on the screen if given the choice. Even in a relationship you will still notice other attractive people, its normal and common. No need to feel a threat over it. Love the person you are with like it's the last day you'll see them. You'll never know when you two might be seperated permentally. Remember all the little things that make you smile about the other person. Out of the blue I wrote my fiancee a love letter just for the heck of it. I didn't realize how much was in my heart waiting to pour out to her until I started writing. When she read it the smile on her face was priceless. It really makes you think what you really have, and what you can lose if you don't treat them right. Being with your mate is not a right. Its a priviledge. Out of ALL the billions of people in the world your mate chose YOU. Resepect that and them. Showing them all the respect, love, trust and friendship you have will have many more rewards that you could ever imagine. If you are in an arguement about anything, do the following. Before saying something that you know you'll have to say sorry for later on, give yourself 30 seconds to think first. Think about how much damage you can inflict not only on the relationship but the other person as well. Even when arguing, look at your mate and tell them you love them. Hate should not be in your heart when you are disagreeing. Communicate, which means to actually listen and think what the other person is talking about. When your mate tells you something, listen.. listen.. listen.. listen.. They are telling you something for a reason. Guys if she mentions that something you said or did has bothered her, don't fight her on it. Come to a comprimise. These little things add up. Also remember always to be a gentlemen, but always maintain a strong backbone. Women like confidence. Anyway I know I was rambling a bit, but when these things don't happen one or the other mate gets hurt over and over to the point where they want to leave. When the love, respect, trust and friendship are not equal because of things I mentioned above, power struggles start. When that happens, the relationship is on verge of being broken. You can only stress things between two people to a certain point before it breaks. Learn to compromise, that's what a big part of relationships is about. Showing compromise is showing a love for them that they would appreciate a million times over. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted March 24, 2004 Share Posted March 24, 2004 Ahhhhhhh JMargel....if you weren't taken and I wasn't so damn old.....I'd propose to you!!! Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted March 24, 2004 Share Posted March 24, 2004 Originally posted by Arabess Ahhhhhhh JMargel....if you weren't taken and I wasn't so damn old.....I'd propose to you!!! Me Too! Then we could have a 3some! Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted March 24, 2004 Share Posted March 24, 2004 J, Tat and Bess at Love Shack. Hell, we could make a whole porn film. BWAHAHAHA! I'm sorry J....you wrote this wonderfully eloquent post and we Shacker Chicks slutted it up! Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted March 24, 2004 Share Posted March 24, 2004 yeah j- it is a very meaningful post! Link to post Share on other sites
Author jmargel Posted March 24, 2004 Author Share Posted March 24, 2004 Aww ty.. It was just something I was thinking about. I just hope some people read it and use the advice. It might save someone from having to experience and post about their breakup on here. Hmm.. A cyber 3 some? Interesting. Link to post Share on other sites
Dug Posted March 24, 2004 Share Posted March 24, 2004 Gotta hand it to you jmargel....you did hit every nail quite well. I would only embellish your comment as to how special a SO really is. Their uniqueness is not only limited to this worldly population ....God only made one of each of us, and it's a big universe out there. Hold on to your SO with both hands. Link to post Share on other sites
BrianPS Posted March 24, 2004 Share Posted March 24, 2004 great post dude Link to post Share on other sites
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