BrianPS Posted March 24, 2004 Share Posted March 24, 2004 Hi everyone, Im new here. my names brian and i live in VA. i was wondering if someone could help me out with a relationhip problem im having...but first i have to tell the full story, i promise to try to keep it short. me and my girlfriend started dating 2 years ago. she asked me to move in to her house with her about a year ago. right after i moved in with her, i lost my job. i was out of work for a long time, almost the whole year i was working at odd jobs, hopping in between them as she payed all the bills and basically supported us. well, i was kind of an a**h*** sometimes and she frequently told me that i didnt act like i appreciated her paying for everything. i admit that i have been uptight and not very friendly at times, but never unappreciative. there were times when she would try to be intimate with me and i would turn her away because i was unhappy with our living arrangements (her mom and brother moved in with us and we had lots of roomates, which i didnt like). well, i now have a great job and have been trying desperately to win her back...let me explain...she wont have sex with me, and is very distant. she says that she needs a little time to recover and time to be "back at that place" with me.. just recently, she caught me looking at her breasts and got offended (but its never been a problem before!). i feel very lonely. i think she is getting tired of me. i have expressed this to her, and she assures me that she wants to be with me, and doesnt want me to leave or move out or anything. she is still kind of affectionate and tells me she loves me alot. i think that when i start paying all the bills and act independant, it will get better, but then again, im not too sure. i guess i need reassurance from this community. what should i do? she wont have sex with me anymore and says its because shes not feeling that way right now. she wants to make sure that we have a relationship built on other things besides sex, which is understandable. i feel like im struggling for things to talk about when we are together and i am getting very insecure. she wears shirts that show off her breasts like she is trying to get attention from other men. im not sure what is going to happen, but i want to stay with her, i dont want to give up, but i feel like she is slipping away even though she assures me that she just needs time before she can start to be intimate with me again, and assures me that she loves me and wants to be together. thanks, not sure whats going on here. Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted March 24, 2004 Share Posted March 24, 2004 money is such a killer! Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted March 24, 2004 Share Posted March 24, 2004 Read my post about relationships in this section. Start doing things together that you enjoyed before. Even if its going for a walk. Don't try to 'win' her back, she's not a trophy. She's obviously very sincere with her feelings and is wise not calling it quits right away. Sometimes the best moments between two people don't have any talking involved. Go for a walk with her tonight and just hold her hand. I would suggest not talking about the situation when you do this. Sex isn't going to solve anything. She's hurt emotionally. Don't push her into anything she doesnt want to do, and let her take things at her own pace. Also do alot of soul searching in yourself. Sounds like you weren't happy with yourself (not having a job) and she became the punching bag for that. You also need to communicate better! Link to post Share on other sites
Cpunch75 Posted March 24, 2004 Share Posted March 24, 2004 Move out. Find work. Find yourself again. Give her a bouquet of roses. Read the posts about beaver love. It'll loosen you up. Go to Canada with DA and eat some beaver steaks. Move back in. Simple. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrianPS Posted March 24, 2004 Author Share Posted March 24, 2004 Originally posted by jmargel Read my post about relationships in this section. Start doing things together that you enjoyed before. Even if its going for a walk. Don't try to 'win' her back, she's not a trophy. She's obviously very sincere with her feelings and is wise not calling it quits right away. Sometimes the best moments between two people don't have any talking involved. Go for a walk with her tonight and just hold her hand. I would suggest not talking about the situation when you do this. Sex isn't going to solve anything. She's hurt emotionally. Don't push her into anything she doesnt want to do, and let her take things at her own pace. Also do alot of soul searching in yourself. Sounds like you weren't happy with yourself (not having a job) and she became the punching bag for that. You also need to communicate better! Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
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