griffinchicken53 Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 (edited) In reading the thread about the article on porn addiction, I’m going to give my own account. Maybe what I say here could help someone else. I’m not sure what I would call myself, Porn addict, Porn collector, Porn Hoarder. I looked to see just how much the other day and I had 2 gigabytes. It started off simple, get a few images, so every few days when I need to “take care of business” I don’t’ have to log on to the internet, but it got where I was logging onto the internet everyday and kept adding to the collection. Had I heard someone else talk about it, I wouldn’t have thought of it as an addiction per se, but it is like a “high.” In high school I’m sure most guys found their dad’s stash of playboys and thought naked women, awesome. But then it gets where you need to see more than pictures of breasts, but everything, then videos, sex, weird kinky stuff to get that first feeling of arousal. Some people can handle this, others lack the will to keep it from affecting the rest of their lives. Actually I posted a topic “questions about porn addiction 2 years ago, and here I am almost saying the exact same thing. Where I messed up before, I got rid of it “for the hopes of one girl inparticular” After it didn’t work out I got depressed and slowly started collecting again. A few DVDs, and then the downloaded stuff. Usually my motivation is to do better so I can find someone. Not that this is a bad thing, but I’m doing it now. Down to 600megabytes left. My motivation, I’m doing this for myself. Right now the hope of finding someone is the furthest thing in my mind. I let the “girl of my dreams” get away. She deserves a great guy, and at the moment I’m not great. Maybe if I had already made so many improvements on my life, something could have worked out, maybe she would have been attracted to me. I’ll never know. I don’t like this feeling and don’t want history to repeat itself. I want to feel worthy of love the next time I find a girl that interests me. I do feel good about my decision now. Like when I gave up caffeine, after the withdrawal my head felt clear, like I had been living in a fog. Just what I’ve gotten rid of so far, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Hoping maybe this can be a help to others. Edited February 8, 2011 by griffinchicken53 copied and pasted from word document, put weird symbols where i had typed the enter key Link to post Share on other sites
tman666 Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 All things in moderation, I say... If some people have one drink, they end up having 10. I can imagine this holds true for some people with regards to porn. It's important to know where one stands. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 Good to see you're managing your attitude and use of porn for your own sake, rather than as a favour to someone else. Just like every other activity, it's up to you to decide how much it forms a part of your life. Personally, I've been prone to addictive / compulsive behaviour on all sorts of things, and now I realise that my life is better when I enjoy a bit of everything and don't get too wound up about any one thing. It also happens that you're more likely to appeal to someone else in a similar position to yourself, so if you want a stable yet fun and enjoyable relationship with someone, become a stable yet fun person. I think of it as being a bit like a healthy cat. Curious, self-assured, playful, supple and flexible, and able to land on my feet whenever things go wrong. As opposed to being a rabid dog, gnawing at his own leg! Link to post Share on other sites
Author griffinchicken53 Posted February 15, 2011 Author Share Posted February 15, 2011 i lost alot of time with it. at one point i think it was a means to cope with the issue that women don't want me. then it became a problem. but i started thinking, if something happened to me, i don't want people finding that on a hard drive folder somewhere. Only thing that concerns me is that the last two mornings i've woken up without "morning wood". sure hope i'm not becoming impotent or develop ED. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 (edited) We all have times when we don't get erections, so don't worry about it too much. In fact, it may be a good sign for you, as a porn addict, because it may show you're relaxing a bit and your sexual urges are becoming less dominant in your life. Bit of a sensitive topic, but I also lacked confidence around women, and in particular with regard to sex and my performance. Turned out I had phimosis and a scarred frenulum, meaning erections were very painful and my subconscious had dealt with it by limiting how vigorous and how long they lasted, meaning I rarely got a full erection and when I had sex, I would cum almost immediately. Might be something worth considering, if you have issues with sexual confidence, it might have a physical element to the issue. Having a cock that's too big for your foreskin is something that can be easily remedied: 6 months ago I was circumcised and I LOVE IT. Other men use steroid creams. In either case your doctor can help you. Edited February 15, 2011 by betterdeal Link to post Share on other sites
milkmaterial Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 i used to watch porn a lot..i dont know why. but i didnt download them. its ok op. Link to post Share on other sites
Author griffinchicken53 Posted March 20, 2011 Author Share Posted March 20, 2011 haven't been on in awhile. milkmaterial, i downloaded them because going to a website and opening a 100kb image might take 1 minute to open. haven't looked at any hardcore stuff in a while, i've got boob pics and vids, mardi gras flashing, drunk girls flashing at parties, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Ross PK Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Doesn't sound too excessive to me. 2 gigs isn't that much at all, and as long as you're not spending all day everyday downloading pics, then just downloading some pics everyday doesn't sound like a big deal. If it wasn't for porn would you go on the Internet everyday anyway? If so would there be anything you'd do on the Internet everyday, like watching Youtube, or reading message boards? Would this mean you're addicted to those? Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Doesn't sound too excessive to me. 2 gigs isn't that much at all, and as long as you're not spending all day everyday downloading pics, then just downloading some pics everyday doesn't sound like a big deal. If it wasn't for porn would you go on the Internet everyday anyway? If so would there be anything you'd do on the Internet everyday, like watching Youtube, or reading message boards? Would this mean you're addicted to those? Yes you can get hooked on internet surfing too! OP good for you for realizing that there is an issue and taking steps to do something about it. Either way, it frees up more time for more constructive and healthy things in your life. Yesterday marked my 2 years of being porn free. At first I thought it was going to suck and that stuff wouldn't be as arousing etc. Truth be told, I don't miss it one bit. It took about 3 months to get over the 'hump' so to speak () and then about 6 for the thoughts to really start to dissipate. It was sometime between last year and this year that they lost pretty much any hold completely on me. I am very grateful. I finally feel like when I have sex, that at least it is my own sex and not 1000 images of other people that have been twisted and modified to mess with my head. And when sex happens its better. Link to post Share on other sites
Ross PK Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Yes you can get hooked on internet surfing too! Yeah but going on everyday doesn't have to mean you're addicted. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts