Going through the anger phase

[kgal]

Originally posted by from ND

K Gal, I enjoyed reading your posts, I am in a simalar situation, I left my girlfriend nearly 20 days ago, I left because I am quite sure she cheated, It was NO assumption, I had proof, I hopped atrain to the west coast. I know I hurt her by doing it, because we have spoken briefly not long after i got out here, and she tyold me she got into touble and was getting sent to a mandatory rehab for 90 days. She would call the last 2 weeks and be verbally threatening, very angry and bitter, telling me to stay out of her life. Something inside me says she is not so much angry as upset, and her anger is a way of maskinbg her hurt. I wrote her a letter last week and expressed that I do care for her still, and that, I forgive her for the cheating, that I diudnt want to know details, most of me wants her back very badly, but I dont know where to go with it, meanwhile ive begun a new life in seattle, working and meeting people (not dating), but throughout the day I find myself thinkg about her and woindering if she misses me, or wants to reconcile, do you think she thinks about me at some point in her day? I mean we were together 9 mos and lived together for 7 of them, we were together EVERY day. I know we had real love, she says she already forgot about me on the phone, but yet if she did, why did she even call to telkl me that? whats your opinion?

 

Well... my situations a bit different.. but I will try to understand from your point of view. I guess hopping that train means you were very hurt? I felt like doing that when he broke up w/me. I felt like just getting out of here.. because I didn't want to see familiar spots where we had been together... and he lives close so the urge to see him was there shortly after. You say she was in rehab? Hmm.. well.. and she cheated on you? Sounds to me like you really deserve better.. sorry to say.. I know it hurts to hear someone else say that the one you love might not be good enough.. but I'm wondering if that's true in my case. I don't know... its hard to have all the answers.. we just don't and like I've mentioned, only God does.. and we'll never know why he or she left.. but I believe we do see eventually.. and things do and will get better.. even if the one we love does come back.. Its hard to see when you're involved in the breakup.

 

OH.. sorry.. I got a little carried away.. I'll try to stick to your post here..

 

If you're happy there in Seattle and things are going good.. why not try it out? Maybe someone is there and you just haven't met her yet?? LOL. I think that true love is something that needs no explanation and you shouldn't have to fight for someone to love you.. they just will.

 

Yes, I do think anyone who had someone they truly cared for in their life and got accustomed to seeing them each day.. would think about them daily. I think about mine all the time.. but I try to not let it get to me.. it's just at night it's hard.. cuz then I have time to think of him.

 

My advice to you would just be to let time pass.. see what happens. Do have faith though ..cuz things will get better for you!

 

God Bless.

[kgal]

I'm still so angry and hurt because of what happened. I feel like if I don't tell him how this all makes me feel... I won't be able to move on right. I just want to heal and I want to tell him off.. haha.. but then I don't because I don't want to mess up our possible friendship and good communication. I dont want him to hate me or leave me as a friend. I guess I'm a bit insecure and I really hate that I feel this way. I wish I could just tell him. I think I might next time I talk to him though.. do you guys think I should.. tell him how I feel that is?

[Arabess]

Originally posted by kgal

Well.. Of course I was not meaning to offend any of you ..

 

No offense taken. The subject of religion came up as part of the relationship differences and you answered honestly based on how you believe and how it has affected your relationship. Crossing religions in marriage can be a rough road. Your boyfriend may indeed be feeling more pressure on that issue from his family than what you are feeling from yours.

[kgal]

Originally posted by Arabess

No offense taken. The subject of religion came up as part of the relationship differences and you answered honestly based on how you believe and how it has affected your relationship. Crossing religions in marriage can be a rough road. Your boyfriend may indeed be feeling more pressure on that issue from his family than what you are feeling from yours.

 

Yeah.. I never really think about how it must be like for him. I mean.. he's told me that if his parents knew ..it would kill them.. and hurt them so bad. I respect that he wants to be obedient and Im not angry at him for that.. I guess alot of my anger is just being mad that I let myself get so far into the relationship.. I really didn't know how serious it all was.. and now it's hard.. but I know I will survive it. Thankyou Arabess.