Feeling overwhelmed

[wierdmunky]

I like people, but when I am in a group of a lot of new people to meet, I feel overwhelmed by all the interaction. When I was younger, I loved it. I liked the differences in people, and just letting go and being happy in any new situation. Meeting new people was fun. Now, as I've gotten older, and life has thrown a few curve balls at me, I'm not so much of a happy go lucky group person right off of the bat. I'm used to building one on one relationships first, and have a hard time dealing with a group of new people at once. When I do, it's difficutlt of focus/concentrate. It's hard for me to remember names, and topics of conversations. I don't know why sometimes I feel like I can't connect with people either. I have this fear of being not accepted for all my wierd/quirkyness, that I don't enjoy the new encounters anymore because Im so worried about my impression. I can have a great conversation, but I'm also worried and thinking about what I should say next. I think I've become really really good at playing it off since whenever I ask for advice people just tend to say to act the part until you get used to the situation.

 

That's not how I get used to people though . Eventually I get over that feeling, and know people, but it's not the same feeling as when I was younger. I felt more "free", and myself. When it comes to that level of comfortableness, I guess I"ve just figured out a way to deal with the people, but not my own stress. I'm not sure if that's an age thing, or just a difference in personalities, because I can still be really goofy with a lot of people my age, that I've known for either short or long.

 

I worry about things like, am I saying something relevant, and being judged if I look any kind of awkward, not getting jokes, just fitting in, but I don't feel "insecure". I'm more responsive in an individual setting I guess. It does take away some of the humor thought, when I'm stressing myself out worrying too much about how people are going to take me. I almost think I have some warped view of myself. I just need ways to see this differently because I think that would help, I like to make lasting/contacts, and new friends, but my worrying is getting in the way.