appletrees Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 I could really use some advice as to what is going on here! I'm in a relationship and she is married. I am a gay and she is heterosexual - she knows I'm gay. Over the last year we have become very close. We met through work and see each other every day. More recently we have started chatting online every night for at least an hour. I've tried to read signals but can't work it out. I am pretty positive we are just very good friends, but something is telling me there may be more going on. It gets even worse, because I think I'm falling for her! I'm obviously trying to keep my feelings in check for countless reasons. I said the other day that if I was a bloke, her husband would think it was odd, to which she replied "he would think I was having an affair"! We buy each other little things and a while ago for no particular reason she hugged me and kissed me below my ear! When we're together alone I feel like there is some chemistry stuff going on....but not sure if my mind is playing tricks! My instinct tells me something is going on, but on paper it seems very unlikely! Is it normal for a friendship to be this intense or could it be more? Link to post Share on other sites
700miles Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 My very best friend is an attractive gay man. We have been friends for years. I'm currently single, and have three children. We do almost everything together to the point that when someone invites me to do things, they always give the ok to include him, as well. We function much like a couple. When we take my baby out, strangers assume he's ours and we have just learned that it's easier to let them think that. We laugh together; share hopes, fears, dreams; encourage each other; cook together; work out together; spend holidays together, etc... I say all this to know what you're feeling...you LOVE your friend. But, the difference between a romantic relationship and a platonic relationship lies within the bedroom. I love my friend, but could never imagine an intimate relationship with him...and vice versa. We, too, hug and/or kiss each other hello and goodbye...just much more like one would a family member. Your situation might be different, but I would hate to see you set yourself up. Do you really want to put aside your sexual interest/needs? A friendship like this is great. But, I will admit that when one of us is in a relationship, our friendship subsides a bit. I belive this is because we find that intimacy we crave in the person we're with, and that need no longer needs to be filled by each other. Perhaps this is dysfunctional, but it works. Hope this helps. Link to post Share on other sites
Author appletrees Posted February 10, 2011 Author Share Posted February 10, 2011 Thank you so much for your comments, yes they have helped. Sounds like you have a really great friend. Suppose I'll just have to see what unfolds, confusing though it is! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts