MissTish Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 HI everybody. I stumbled upon this website yesterday and decided to join. I have been married for five years, and every year, there has been "something". To make matters more interesting, each year that "something" has gotten worse. The first year, I found out that my H was communicating with other women, via emails and FB, in a manner that was inapropriate. When I confronted him about it, he shifted the blame to me, saying that I was wrong for snooping through his emails (I actually saw the communique accidentally), but eventually, with my prodding, he admitted that he was wrong. The next year, it went a step further, to where he made plans to meet with someone from his past. Again, I found out about it (he did not offer the information), confronted him and he got angry. The same thing happened though - with time, he admitted that he was wrong. The next year, it went to another level, and I found pornographic images of himself and some other female, that they had been exchanging. Last year, he "raped" me. Throughout all of these major episodes, there have been times when he has shut me out when I try to communicate etc. After last year's traumatic incident, I formulated an unhealthy emotional bond with another man. My H found out about it and I ended the "friendship" because I knew it was wrong. Now though, he says he can't trust me anymore and is very indifferent. He says he has this gut feeling that I was "physical" with the OM. My thing is, after all the crap I have been through, I think its uncool that he feels justified in his feelings and actions. What does all of this mean? We have a two year old son but if it wasn't for him, I would have left a LONG time ago, especially after incidents which occurred after he was born. What is your analysis of this saga? This is a very brief synopsis. Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 Well the rape concerns me for sure. I understand that you want to stay together for your kid, but there are some lines that should never be crossed - and rape is certainly one of those lines. Your H was unfaithful to you, and of course when you questioned him, he got angry and tried to turn things around on you. That's why he doesn't believe you when you say that things never got physical with the OM, its most likely because things got physical with him and other women - so he just assumes you're just as bad as he is. This relationship has abuse, mistrust, and 'affiars' on both sides. Since I have no kids, I'm sure I'll never understand fully why parents stay in miserable conditions for them, but as an outsider, I can see that this isn't a happy home for a kid to grow up in. You let too much sh** slide with him, and so he has no incentive to want to change - why should he? He can just get away with anything he does. And now, full of resentment and being unhappy, you're trying to find comfort with an outsider, and although that may be a temporary fix, its not addressing the real issues, and only causing more problems. Honestly, after you said rape, I just thought you should get the hell out- that's not ever acceptable. But that's just my view. Good luck to you Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 Honestly, after you said rape, I just thought you should get the hell out- that's not ever acceptable. But that's just my view. Good luck to you Agreed. That whole situation is messy, but that's an absolute deal breaker in my book. Link to post Share on other sites
30Years Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 Honestly, after you said rape, I just thought you should get the hell out- that's not ever acceptable. Your husband is a sick man, too sick for you or your child to be living with. Link to post Share on other sites
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