dont know how to say this,but I need all of you right now

[BOWWIE]

I am so sorry patty for your loss. i know very little words can comfort you right now and it is uselss to say time will heal and all the other things people try to say to comfort one when grieving. my prayers and thoughts are with you:

 

May I go now

 

Don't you think the time is right?

May I say good-bye to pain-filled days

and endless lonely nights?

I've lived my life and done my best,

an example tried to be,

So can I take that step beyond

and set my spirit free?

 

I didn't want to go at first.

I fought with all my might!

But something seems to draw me now

to a warm and loving light.

 

I want to go! I really do!

It's difficult to stay.

But I will try as best I can

to live just one more day .

 

To give you time to care for me

and share your love and fears.

I know you're sad and are afraid

because I see your tears.

 

I'll not be far, I promise that,

and hope you'll always know

that my spirit will be close to you

wherever you may go.

 

Thank you so for loving me.

You know I loved you too.

That's why it's hard to say good-bye

and end this life with you.

 

So hold me now, just one more time,

and let me hear you say,

because you care so much for me,

you'll let me go today.

[Patty]

Thanks.That poem made me cry.Whenever I hear the words "good bye" it makes me cry.If I read anything sad it will make me cry more.I cried reading your poem.

 

This is so hard.

 

Patty

[bittersweet]

I had to deal with the same thing almost a year ago. I had to put my cat to sleep also because she had kidney failure. She wouldn't eat and wouldn't move. When I brought her to the vet and they told me it was the best thing, I wanted to die. I became very attached to her. She was in my life for 15 years. The day before the appointment to bring her in, I was confused and sad. I had to work but actually came home on my lunch break to spend time with her. It hurt me to hold her, smell her, and to see her act and look so differently. I came home and did something special with her for the last time and it makes me content now when I look back. I spent the hour in my yard holding her with a blanket in my arms. She was an inside cat but her whole life, she loved being let outside to watch the birds and the scenery. I did that with her for the last time and I was crying and petting her head gently. I thought of all the memories I had that involved her. I felt guilt for the times I walked past her when she was healthy but I realized what a wonderful life my family gave her when we adopted her. I talked to her and even though she probably had no idea what I was saying, I know the sound and tone of my voice comforted her.

 

It was a very difficult time for me. Some people get very close to their pets because they are always there for us. I'm seeing one of my other cats reaching the end of her life now- she is 14. It gets easier over time. I took pictures of my cat the last few days she was alive and I look at them and cry sometimes when I'm alone. They are so innocent- they never answer you back, and they are always waiting for you when you get home. Take with you all the good memories. Chances are your cat probably would not have had a life at all if it wasn't for you. Seeing your post brings back a lot of memories of when I was going through the same thing 10 months ago. It's part of life and your cat's life has made it's meaning.

[Patty]

had to deal with the same thing almost a year ago. I had to put my cat to sleep also because she had kidney failure. She wouldn't eat and wouldn't move. When I brought her to the vet and they told me it was the best thing, I wanted to die. I became very attached to her. She was in my life for 15 years. The day before the appointment to bring her in, I was confused and sad. I had to work but actually came home on my lunch break to spend time with her. It hurt me to hold her, smell her, and to see her act and look so differently. I came home and did something special with her for the last time and it makes me content now when I look back. I spent the hour in my yard holding her with a blanket in my arms. She was an inside cat but her whole life, she loved being let outside to watch the birds and the scenery. I did that with her for the last time and I was crying and petting her head gently. I thought of all the memories I had that involved her. I felt guilt for the times I walked past her when she was healthy but I realized what a wonderful life my family gave her when we adopted her. I talked to her and even though she probably had no idea what I was saying, I know the sound and tone of my voice comforted her.

 

It was a very difficult time for me. Some people get very close to their pets because they are always there for us. I'm seeing one of my other cats reaching the end of her life now- she is 14. It gets easier over time. I took pictures of my cat the last few days she was alive and I look at them and cry sometimes when I'm alone. They are so innocent- they never answer you back, and they are always waiting for you when you get home. Take with you all the good memories. Chances are your cat probably would not have had a life at all if it wasn't for you. Seeing your post brings back a lot of memories of when I was going through the same thing 10 months ago. It's part of life and your cat's life has made it's meaning.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I feel like crying now after reading your post.After reading, that made me think of Spooky,my cat.I just wish he didnt have to be put to sleep.Im still crying about it,it is hard to come home and not seeing him here.He would always be here to greet me at the door and now,its just not the same.I still cant stop crying.I feel so lost,when Im not seeing him here.I just want him back,so I can be happy again.I wish I could feel better again.But its hard.It feels like right now,I'll never feel better again.Not without Spooky.I just cant imagine life withot him.

 

Patty

[quankanne]

oh, Patty, that's so very, very hard to lose someone you love so unexpectedly, and I know you adore Spooky.

 

when you mourn him, try not to see your mourning as only a loss, but as a celebration of his life -- all the love and joy he brought you, and things like that. It doesn't make the pain go away, but it helps to look at it another way. Because even though he's not physically there, you'll have some good memories to pull out like photographs when you think about your kitty.

 

do you have any favorite pictures of him? Take the one that makes your heart smile the most and frame it, then place it someplace where you know you'll see it often. Yes, you'll cry, but you'll also smile just thinking about him every time you see him ... and that will help heal the pain you're feeling from missing him.

 

you and your little Spooky are in my prayers, kiddo.

 

quankanne

[Patty]

Thanks,quankanne.I think it would just make me cry more.I just dont believe its happened and dont want to believe it has happenned.Im real sad about it.I feel like I got nothing to look forward to anymore.Its just to depressing.He would always wait by the door for me,when I got back from work and it just tears me apart.I want him back.This is to hard for me.Im still not over the shock yet.I still dont want to believe its happening.I have a picture of him that I took last summer but I'm afraid I'll start crying when I look at it again.I wish I could say,I'm going to be be better again but it doesnt feel like it.Its really hard for me.We were so close.

 

Patty

[Patty]

I miss hearing him purr at me.How will I ever get over this? Theres everything,I miss about him.

 

Patty

[spencer]

its so heartbreaking. im so sorry for your loss.

i am momma to 2 kitties. both abondoned, one was a dumpster kitty. they are 4 & 3yrs old.

i dread the day when i have to say good bye. i lost 6 cats total when i was a child and this is my first attempt to love again at 34 yrs old.

 

my only thoughts of comfort for you is to remember the life you have given to spooky, and now that he's gone, he would want you to help another. the cycle of life.

adopt another kitty, he will help you heal.

if spooky lost you first wouldn't you want him to get another human to love?

kitty love

[bowwie]

what difference does it make how long she had the cat or if her dad wanted to have it or not? these things are simply so irrelevant at a time of loss. i get a deep sadness in my heart when i see an animal that has been struck down by a car, a deer, a squirrel, a bird, what ever it is, i feel a deep sadness for that poor animal. from what i have read on here, patty is a very sensitive person and no matter how long she had the cat does not affect her feelings for the cat.

[spencer]

bowwie- I know exactly what you mean about the dead animals on the road. I get so sad I try not to look. I also wish we as a society could do more to care for the animals we share the earth with.

I love the animal planets aspca's tv show "animal precinct". Its great how they go and bust people for treating their pets like crap, and then find them good homes. I just wish it was mandatory jail time for this behavior.

[bowwie]

hey spencer, that animal precinct is one of my favorite shows too. i like the new york one best because they do try everything to save an animal where as the michigan one does not even keep pit bulls at all and the houston ones seem to put them to sleep quickly as well.

we recently wanted a houston one where they had all these pigs to get rid of, and one had died but the rest were up and walking around and they said they had to euthenise (sp) them because of the condition they were in! my hubby and me looked at each other in shock! so yeah, that is a great show! my sister lived in jacksonville, florida and she says it was nothing to see animals in the road that were hit by cars, she says there are just tons and tons of them, impossible not to see them nor hit them. so sad either way, nice to know others share my sentiment for animals. remember we are a voice for them!

[spencer]

unbelievable, my brother ,and my girlfriends roomate both have pitbulls and I have dibs on them if something ever happens to their owners.

they are such good dogs. good girls.

 

i wish we could euthenize the bad owners instead.

yup, pets first, morons second.

 

sorry to post this, but this is what i saw on the way to work today.

caution - dont read- it might be bad for you.

 

squirrels, their are many in my neighborhood this time of year, i feed them on my porch and my cats are highly entertained, my neighbors that feed the birds, well, they are not as happy, being the squirrels chase the birds away and eat the food.

well I saw a squirell torn in two this morning on my way to work. apparently hit by a car, that didn't even seem to slow down. the squirell was cleanly split in 2, and there were no tire marks. WTF! i could be doing 110 and still stop on a dime not to hit an animal. I was disturbed all the way to work and still annoyed now, 12 hours later.

I cant get these thoughts of animal torture out of my mind, i find i obsess too much.