is something wrong with me?

[heavenly]

am i normal? my boyfriend always wants to go to these social functions, like weddings, birthday partys, drive-inns, movies etc. i hate these things! i feel like were the odd couple. it seems like we don't have a lot in common but we get along great and have alot of fun together. until, one of these things come up. next month is a friends wedding, he wants me to go with him, but i hate the idea, i hate these social stupid things. i feel like i let him down if i don't go, or i go and hate it anyway. am i strange? does the average person like at least some things socially? i am confused, really i am, cause i don't feel normal. i know lots of people who would love to go to so and so's wedding or b-day or whatever, everybody but me. what is wrong with me?

[Tony T]

There is no such thing as an average person. Every person is unique and individual in his/her likes and dislikes. There is nothing at all wrong with you. You are not strange. You just don't like these things and you are a free individual and an adult who can control your life and what you do with your time. There are a lot of people who would much rather stay home and watch TV or read a good book than go party with a bunch of wild, drunken friends...or even kind, sober, civilized ones who want to spend hours making small talk.

 

Your dislike of these social outings your boyfriend enjoys may be serious or may not be a problem and it will be up to you to decide in just a second or two.

 

You will not change your boyfriend...and it is unlikely you will change. So, if you are able to bite the bullet and go with him on these social outings, tolerate them, and not make yourself miserable then you can remain with him. If you dislike going so much that they drive you crazy, then this is a serious incompatibility and you will have to evaluate the relationship.

 

You will have some sacrifices and compromises to make in almost every relationship you ever have. The extent of those depends on the overall compatibility you have with your partner. Sometimes, there are only minimal concessions necessary. Other times, people are willing to pay great prices to be with someone they otherwise care about...but usually over time, resentment sets in when those concessions are numerous.

 

If you cannot begin to give in to compromise on this issue, which seems to be a pretty important one, your feelings of annoyance and discomfort will only worsen until your anger and hostility spills over and destroys the whole relationship.

 

So take the time you need to make the decision as to whether or not you can commit to putting up with this stuff you don't enjoy. If not, then go on to decision two, whether or not to remain in the relationship.

 

But don't worry about being strange. You have a perfect right to the preferences you have set for your life. As a child I had to go places and do things I hated and swore that as an adult, I would do what I enjoyed!!! You are OK!!!

[billy the kid]

Heavenly