How to get over boyfriends promiscuous past?

[beckyspiller]

Hi Guys

 

Basically me and my boyfriend have known eachother for four years. When I first met him he was seeing someone and I had a boyfriend, however; he didn't tell me he was seeing anyone so I assumed he was single. I liked him instantly and we ended up kissing.. I told him that I'd be with him soon as soon as I'd ended it with my current boyfriend but I couldnt because I'd realized just how much my current boyfriend meant to me at the time.

 

After that I totally blocked him out of my life I didn't speak to him for a good few months and then when I split up with my ex I went back to him. He'd totally changed, he'd become a shovenistic pig who'd sleep with anyone and anything. He told me he loved me, slept with me and then when I asked about a relationship he didn't want one so I stopped seeing him.

 

After that we began working at the same place together, we'd see eachother and say Hello but he'd always try and get it back on with me and I wasn't interested because I was seeing other people. I don't believe it's right to tell someone you love them whilst seeing other people however he thought it was okay.

 

Then a few months later we stopped speaking again and didn't speak for 9 months this time. He'd always randomly text me a ? to see how I was doing or just to let me know he was thinking of me.. I'd never reply. I'd always see him flirting with other women and sleeping with them and I'd feel sick but I knew it's what he needed to do before he could commit.

 

Then finally out of the blue last May we started meeting up properly, and he asked me out. I said yes because he'd promised he'd changed. If only I'd knew... About a week into our relationship he was messaging a girl on Facebook talking about sex and "how she's going to make it up to him" and I didn't find out about this until the October of last year. Then after MONTHS and I mean months of nagging I finally found out he'd slept with 18 women, I've slept with 9 men and I didn't have a problem with this so I was fine, then I began to find out that the whole time he was seeing me in 2009 from the March to the June he was sleeping with other people hence why he didn't want a relationship where as I wasn't and wouldn't.

 

He's also lied to me in our relationship, he even told me to ask his ex of six months if she'd met his mum, slept with him at his house and been bought gifts by him because he'd "forgotten" and when she said yes I knew totally that he knew all the time.. He humiliated me that much and it's now made me question how he actually feels about me.

 

He always tells me i'm the one for him and I always have been it's just he was a dick back then and didn't realise what he'd had. That his past is his past and he's sorry for what he put me through. Yet, I can't accept this! I've become so paranoid and itchy about it that I want to know every single detail and it's pushing me and him apart. I know it's my fault because I shouldn't really ask but now I've even began comparing myself to his ex's and one night stands..

 

It's really getting beyond a joke!

Please help!!

[sumdude]

Sorry but sounds to me like he'll never change. Find someone else who will treat you right and is an honest and honorable guy,

[sammyd]

Get out whilst you can!

[carhill]

OP, you and he have different relationship and sexual styles. He apparently likes keeping his options open and this appears to work, as he beds a wide variety of women. You prefer a more exclusive and singular dynamic.

 

The problem IMO with the back and forth is that dickinsider starts up way too fast and emotions follow (for you) and you get way ahead of him. Next time, try going more methodically and progress the exclusivity and relationship at a level equal with the sex. I'm not talking about next time with him. He's done. Cooked. He's already had way too many chances, IMO. Let him go. I'm sure one of his other bed partners will be a compatible fit. Someone for everyone. Good luck