Afraid & Doubting

[itshardbeingafox]

I'm not sure if I have a direct question so much as a whole whirlwind of confusion. I have been dating someone for a month now. I was single for a little over a year getting over a 3 year relationship that ended. He is an amazing man, everything I could have thought I wanted. He owns his own company that is well off, owns his own home, gardens, camps, kayaks, loves all the same things I do. .......he can even cook, better than me, the man can flip pancakes in the air and catch them in the skillet while at the same time catching my eye and throwing me a wink from across the kitchen. He is calm, relaxed, and so confident. He is also incredibly sexy. He is 32, I am 26. We both work a lot and value our careers. I was being sneaky and reading his text messages one day and saw he sent a text to his best man friend that I was the one. I've met his friends and they seem to like me just fine. They even coordinated a Valentine's date for us. He remodeled his kitchen sink since knowing me and his downstairs bathroom. The kitchen because he wants to cook with me more often (we both LOVE to cook) and the bathroom because he wanted to take longer showers with me (haha). I spend almost every night at his house and I pretty much have to insist upon staying in my own apartment only 1 mile up the road for a few nights a week. I have decided to move because I wanted a larger apartment and I found one even closer to his house (not intentional it's just a wonderful neighborhood), he asks my landlord for a shorter than one year lease and just smiles at me. My cell contract expired and instead of renewing he asked me at least 20 times to join his family business plan. I eventually gave in (it's 40$ less!) so now I am on his family business plan with the rest of his family. He jokes about stealing things from my apartment and taking them to his home and eventually moving me in because all of my stuff will be there. I guess here is where I am afraid and doubting. I can't imagine a man so normal, so fine on his own, so together, and so good looking could want me. To me it makes no sense, I don't think I'm ugly at all, that has nothing to do with it. I just have no idea what I'm afraid of I just am. Maybe it's that I am so used to having to fix the men in my life, pay for their dinner and their movie tickets, cooking dinner while they text some other girl thats his "friend", that a man with his junk together having an interest in me seems too far fetched. If someone can figure out my issue with this that may be hidden somewhere in my ramblings that would be nice.

[westrock]

I guess here is where I am afraid and doubting. I can't imagine a man so normal, so fine on his own, so together, and so good looking could want me. To me it makes no sense, I don't think I'm ugly at all, that has nothing to do with it. I just have no idea what I'm afraid of I just am. Maybe it's that I am so used to having to fix the men in my life, pay for their dinner and their movie tickets, cooking dinner while they text some other girl thats his "friend", that a man with his junk together having an interest in me seems too far fetched. If someone can figure out my issue with this that may be hidden somewhere in my ramblings that would be nice.

 

To you it may make no sense, but to him it makes perfect sense. That's all you need to know.

 

This has to do with you and not him.

 

I think your username gives you a hint. It's almost as if you worry that you won't be able to keep up the image of yourself that you are presenting to him forever and one day he will discover the "real you" with flaws. Does that sound familiar to you ? What you are likely afraid of is that when he discovers the "real you" with flaws then he will dump you and your fears will be confirmed. However, what you don't know is that he probably has already seen the real you and he's still here, still interested in you, flaws and all.

[itshardbeingafox]

while that is most likely true... my last name is fox lol and so that's my username for a lot of stuff