jenny Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 on a scale from 1-100, with 100 having the highest value. to define our terms: 1. Having or being a taste that is sharp, acrid, and unpleasant. 2. Causing a sharply unpleasant, painful, or stinging sensation; harsh: enveloped in bitter cold; a bitter wind. 3. Difficult or distasteful to accept, admit, or bear: the bitter truth; bitter sorrow. 4. Proceeding from or exhibiting strong animosity: a bitter struggle; bitter foes. 5. Resulting from or expressive of severe grief, anguish, or disappointment: cried bitter tears. 6. Marked by resentment or cynicism: “He was already a bitter elderly man with a gray face” (John Dos Passos) (from dictionary.com) how many of these might describe how you view relationships, and how you talk about them? i tend to think posters who use heavy sarcasm and invective are bitter, (an acrid tone) but that's not a reliable guide. i would consider myself very skeptical about romantic delusions, but i don't think i'm bitter. i don't think i have the attention span for bitter; it seems more continuous and permanent. i'd give myself about a 13 on the bitter scale. Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 i like to use sarcasm...though i am not as verbose as others. And it is not because i am bitter about relationship....I am Just Bitter about some things in my life. But not too bitter, i am like a 3...but i do not get unrealistic about my bitterness and let it interfer with all my sweetness! Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 Not even slightly. I'm wiser and know what to look out for, but bitterness is a poisonous emotion that I won't allow in my psyche. What's done is done and I've learned from it all. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 I have one thing in my life which I am VERY bitter about. I don't know if I can explain it....because I never have tried.....BUT.... It isn't just about 'lost love', it is about everything I believe in is now tainted with a horrible memory. I can't even look at the American flag without a sharp pain.... In short, he didn't just steal my heart......he stole a piece of my identity....perhaps the most important piece. I resent it greatly and will remain bitter all the days of my life. One day I'll hunt him down like the dog that he is.....and beat the crap out of him. Link to post Share on other sites
kara Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 Very. Probably not as much as one LS visitor called inexpiable, but I bet if I were his age (60 or 70) we would have the same score on the bitterness scale, for now mine is something like 95. I think about being bitter sometimes and I always end up deciding to keep it, I see it as chocolate: I LOVE bitter chocolate and can't stand the sugary-milky one (yuck). Is that a crime? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jenny Posted March 25, 2004 Author Share Posted March 25, 2004 no! not at all! it's just something i'm curious about. arabess? what happened? your pain is way more important here, but i respect your privacy if you don't want to talk about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 Thanks Jenny.....you are so sweet! Actually, I'd rather remain pissed and bitter ......than giving him the capacity to make me cry. I comfort myself in knowing that revenge is only an idea away. LOL! Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 Ahhh Barbie sorry the quest for indifference is dead and buried One day I'll hunt him down like the dog that he is.....and beat the crap out of him. Give dates/times and I'll give you a hand!!!!! He is low life not worthy of your goddessness Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 Originally posted by meanon He is low life not worthy of your goddessness YES.....just call me Barbielicious.....the other white meat!!! OKAY....BACK to Jenny's Bitter Thread. I want to hear some other Shacker stories from the disgruntled. Surely, I can't be the ONLY one! Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 I don't know if being cynical and overly cautious equates bitterness, although I'd love to beat up whoever it was that stole my rose-colored glasses! I look at my life; the many people I've met and the hard lessons I've learned; much like a comedic satire. I can find something utterly ridiculous in every painful moment and actually laugh about it. It probably explains my love for dark humor. Yeah, every now and then my partner and I will share one of those l-o-n-g 'the whole world's gone crazy' or 'people just suck' rants, but all in all we are able to joke and cut up about everything that's behind us. Then again, maybe when we’re old and crotchety, we’ll be sharing a porch swing somewhere, shining our shotguns in front of the neighbors. Link to post Share on other sites
sportsloving Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 I can be very sacrastic and probably crass as all get out, but for the most part... bitter and I shall never meet. I have been burned, scarred, terrorized, stalked, kicked so hard my ribs cried for two months, and a few other lovelies... but I don't know that I learn the lessons such as they are. I mean I look back on things, and probably more able to tell a story as a joke than to spend weeks, months, years holding in the tears. Perhaps I am dysfunctional? Every experience in my life is something to me, and I just can't seem to give up my view of life "Life is full of ups and downs, take them as they are, and cherish the ups more than the downs". For a long time I actually felt like I never really learned when I got burned... and I thought I could never really love anyone. (kids excluded cause they have some kind of duct tape I can't seem to cut through). As a side note, and off topic, Arabess I really admire you. I won't even pretend to know anything about your situation, but you are a very smart, charming, funny and pretty straight forward person. And if you want, I will personally beat up whomever hurt you so badly, tied him to a tree, whack him forty times, pour honey on him and let the ants have a picnic. Then I will throw him a swimming pool full of razor blades and when he climbs out, offer to help with the cuts with a little rubbing alochol. And that is just day 1. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 Originally posted by sportsloving I have been burned, scarred, terrorized, stalked, kicked so hard my ribs cried for two months, and a few other lovelies... but I don't know that I learn the lessons such as they are. I'm assuming you were in a VERY abusive relationship or did these things happen with different guys? Link to post Share on other sites
InmannRoshi Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 I'm bitter enough to roll my eyes everytime someone uses the term "soulmate" and I'm damn proud of it. Link to post Share on other sites
sportsloving Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 Originally posted by Arabess I'm assuming you were in a VERY abusive relationship or did these things happen with different guys? Ah just different things through life. I think the stalking one pissed me off the most, seeing how he would pound on the door at any hour, call, leave notes, and generally scare the hell out of anyone around me. Then it dawns on me, if he terrorize me and mine... why can't I give him some back? The police couldn't/wouldn't help "ma'am, we have done as much as we can do, but as long as he isn't threatening you or harming you, there isn't too much for us to do", restraining orders were only worth the paper written on.... So one night at a bar (some of the best thinking over a MGD, if I do say so myself)... well my girlfriend and I are tired of him staring and stalking, so we go to the grocery store (acting as normal as two drunk chicks can) and buy a LOT of sugar. Oh and a funnel, cause thats a must for every girl. We go back to the bar, buy him a beer, raise ours in salute, walk outside and place all ten pounds of sugar in his gas tank... hmmm bet he has a locking one now. Never heard another peek from him again... wonder if I offended him??? Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 Bitterness is usually the product of curdled anger and long standing resentment. My "BQ" (bitterness quotient) is about a 3. I'm just a mellow, loving guy who manages to avoid relationships with those that would cause my BQ to surge. Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 Overall like a 10, but some issues i am at 100 on. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 Ahhhhhh Sports....you sound like MY kind of woman!!!! LOL! Link to post Share on other sites
sportsloving Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 Originally posted by Arabess Ahhhhhh Sports....you sound like MY kind of woman!!!! LOL! Why thank you, that sounds mucho like a compliment! Link to post Share on other sites
Samson Posted March 26, 2004 Share Posted March 26, 2004 some of the best thinking over a MGD, if I do say so myself)... Well, Sport, my "bitterness quotient" dropped about 10 points upon reading this quote. But usually, I suppose, I'd rate 10-20 on the scale. Sometimes more. Recently, driving along the highway, a rock hit my windshield. My BQ shot up for a few minutes, the I realized that my windshied already has a 20 inch crack. How bitter can one be? Another crack in an already busted windshield? So what? BQ meter goes down. But you gotta wonder, would it be worth it to REPLACE the windshield? Jen, hope you appreciate the symbolism here. Link to post Share on other sites
kara Posted March 26, 2004 Share Posted March 26, 2004 Bitterness is usually the product of curdled anger and long standing resentment. My "BQ" (bitterness quotient) is about a 3. I'm just a mellow, loving guy who manages to avoid relationships with those that would cause my BQ to surge. Lucky you, however bitterness is a bit more complicated I think, bitterness is a coping mechanism in a severely depressing situation and the thing that needs to change is not the bitterness, but the situation. Not always possible... Would be interesting to hear from people with the so-called BQ below 10: what skills do you think you possess that make you not-so-bitter and I guess, accept things? Cause I clearly lack those. In fact, I have no idea what these might be. Anyone? I'm bitter enough to roll my eyes everytime someone uses the term "soulmate" and I'm damn proud of it. You bet, InmannRoshi Link to post Share on other sites
CaterpillarGirl Posted March 26, 2004 Share Posted March 26, 2004 Hmmm...probably like a 10. Only one thing still makes me bitter, and I have a feeling most would say it's dumb, so I won't share, but it's not something that really affects my life at all. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 27, 2004 Share Posted March 27, 2004 Would be interesting to hear from people with the so-called BQ below 10: what skills do you think you possess that make you not-so-bitter and I guess, accept things? Understanding that it's pointless. Bitterness, anger, frustration - ALL the negative feelings only serve to damage you physically. They serve no positive function. They poison your life. I can't see why anybody wouldn't want to purge such feelings from their lives - and do anything they could to accomplish that. That stuff is like tumours - best excised. Link to post Share on other sites
BlockHead Posted March 27, 2004 Share Posted March 27, 2004 100 I make Draino look dilute. Link to post Share on other sites
ladyangel Posted March 27, 2004 Share Posted March 27, 2004 Originally posted by moimeme Would be interesting to hear from people with the so-called BQ below 10: what skills do you think you possess that make you not-so-bitter and I guess, accept things? Understanding that it's pointless. Bitterness, anger, frustration - ALL the negative feelings only serve to damage you physically. They serve no positive function. They poison your life. I can't see why anybody wouldn't want to purge such feelings from their lives - and do anything they could to accomplish that. That stuff is like tumours - best excised. I totally agree. I think a lot of people would agree that I have every reason to be bitter considering some of the things I have been through in my life, but I choose not to be. Forgiveness and letting go, they go a long way towards helping YOU feel better. You don't have to care how the other person feels. Don't let them have the power to control your thoughts or emotions in a negative way. You don't have to think "what if" or "why me" about situations that have hurt you. Just try to learn from them and go forward. Looking back and dwelling on the past doesn't do anybody any good. If all else fails, see a counselor who can help you get past your bitterness. To answer Jenny's original question, I'd say I'm about a 15 on a scale of 1-100, 100 being worst. I have regrets, I have disappointments, but I don't think I have much bitterness. Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted March 27, 2004 Share Posted March 27, 2004 100 I make Draino look dilute. ROTFLMAO!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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