The Memory

[mtnlove]

Let me preface by saying that I have been married, happily-yet we grew apart and ended amicably. Am a pretty stable guy, no hang ups. A bit sentimental at times. Have had a few serious girlfriends before and after that time. One who slipped away due to my selfishness. Always thought she was the one but that story's for another time.

So if your ready here's my story:

 

High School 1977 was an extraordinary year. Hanging with good friends, Weekend mtn trips during school. Summertime brought working on our hot rods and camping, exploring etc etc.

Hanging with friends came first. Girls were around, an added bonus,

Yet a mysterious world that seemed like crossing an ocean whirlpool in a canoe if you ventured to ask a girl out you'd be sure to get sucked down, so we thought.

We were all having too much fun and believing the unspoken truth that if one of us went out with a girl and continued further we would never see them again ! Based on others in school, we knew this pitfall to be true. Yet we all secretly desired that someone who we knew but never asked out.

 

Summertime came school was out til Sept. I had a trash heap of unrequited attempts that I had kept to myself for fear of being cast a 'traitor' Put it aside and was ready for a good time. And it was.

Thru out June I worked on my precious 66 Mustang drag car most nights garage door open, music blasting, friends coming by, a few beers, etc. Other nights I'd trade off my skills on other friends cars wherever and whatever was needed.

 

There was one person who lived a street over from me though who held my attraction, Even as i tried to hook up with others. Our families knew each other pretty good for many years growing up there. Shyness, more than anything else kept me from ever asking her out.

That summer She started to stop by whenever she saw the big garage door open and I was usually by myself. Interesting I thought, but stay focused, car's gotta alot of work to go. Soon it became every couple of days to the point where I happily expected it.

She had started to date a guy who I knew casually, decent guy too. He would drop her off near my house -Her mom didn't like the guy. But I thought maybe it was just a casual dating thing for why does she want to hang with me after ? We had no physical intimacy but great talks with lotsa joking around, then a few hours later she'd have to go home. I was slowly intrigued and didn't know it.

Me and the gang would head off to the river for some canoeing camping or down the shore for a few days but everytime on the way back i found myself anticipating her next visit. Really enjoying her being around though she continued to casually date the other guy. She had even told me it wasn't that serious a thing at the moment.

Thoughts of us going out raced on my mind. But I was brought up old fashioned, not to steal another guy's girl. They would have to end it before I would get going on it. June + July passed Lotsa of good times and she was always coming by.

 

But alas August came round I had a huge camping trip planned with everybody up to the lake for a week.

Was a little nervous to be gone for so long and hoping things didn't heat up while I was gone. During the trip, which was a great time, my mind wandered back to her often.

When I got back there she was, it was like I never left, great !

 

But soon school started again and free time was not like in the summertime. Homework, sleep, parents enforced curfew, the occasional weekend party and her visits tailed off for the same reasons. Didn't see much of her after that except at school, I took it to mean her dating got serious enough. Kicked myself over not asking her out in the summer. I had lost her. I was not devastated but frustrated over my proper attitude which never seemed to work out in the end. So I jettisoned that line of thought and forged ahead adding again to the pile of " I got dumped like a ton of bricks" girl chasing. Don't fault myself for trying it was good practice at least !

Over the years the track record got better as stated at the top. But every now and then i would think of her, wonder where she wound up.

 

Now over 30 yrs later I found her on FBook thru a mutual friend ! We have just started to exchange messages. Without her coming right out to say it, I believe she married that guy from High School, by appearances still together and had some kids.

She still has my heart to a degree though. Could it be a rest stop on that highway of life, maybe both getting off the same exit, or just 2 cars passing thru the intersection in opposite directions ?

My instinct says to just keep casual contact, reminisce of old days

and respect the marriage. I am mature enough to not go off the deep end. If it was meant to be... etc etc.

 

But the pangs of youth and what could have been sometimes still show themselves on a hot summer day when I drive by a 66 Mustang all done up with a young couple in it laughing and smiling...

Free as the wind.

Edited February 14, 2011 by mtnlove

[mtnlove]

I meant to provide this to you all as an insight into my youthful crush.

But also was looking for some opinion on this situation as per the Facebook re-acquainting

and how one would approach it at this point.

Curious what others here would say/ think by putting themselves in her shoes or mine.