AriesGal Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 I have gone for a first date with this guy two weeks ago (he's the one who asked me out first). And the date went wonderfully well. And he texted me after the date saying he had a great time.. I responded to it saying me too. Then I didn't hear from it for the whole week & I just sent him a text asking him how he's been doing. I didn't receive any reply & I kinda assumed maybe he changed his mind and no more interested. And just yesterday (exactly 7 days after my text), he replied back saying sorry for late reply, he was very busy with work & asked me how I m doing. I didn't reply until today coz I think that it's already a red flag that it took him 7 days to respond a text. Am I doing the right thing by not responding or should I respond and see how it goes? Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 That's kind of odd. Does he have a tremendously demanding job/life? International airline pilot? Egyptian protester? My first inclination was to say, it looks bad. But, perhaps there's truth to it. Also, has he replied to your reply from today? Link to post Share on other sites
Author AriesGal Posted February 14, 2011 Author Share Posted February 14, 2011 he said his job is quite hectic. Sometimes he has to work over the weekend too. He's in IT field. No, i haven't replied to his text yesterday coz I have been dilemma whether i should or not. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 AriesGal, I say respond to his text. Your first date went well, his reason for not contacting you could be legitimate, if he fails to respond again for days, or if he flakes in a significant way, next him. Good luck! And Happy Valentine's Day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AriesGal Posted February 14, 2011 Author Share Posted February 14, 2011 cerridwen! Thanks. I replied just now. Let's see if he will reply to it. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 Personally, I live on top of my phone (unless I've turned it off early for the night) so I respond nearly instantly to texts. Not everyone does so give him a few hours. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AriesGal Posted February 14, 2011 Author Share Posted February 14, 2011 yeah. sometimes a few hours is reasonable.. i ll update u when he replies Link to post Share on other sites
SingVoice Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 I don't know...that doesn't look good. You mean to tell me that in 7 days...he didn't once have any time to check his phone? So he wasn't texting or calling anyone else?? Did you meet this guy online? Because I had a similar situation...I met a guy and we had an AMAZING date...then all the sudden he was distant...not responding until hours or days later. I found out that he had gone on another date the night after I met him and was pursuing her. We had met online...and thats the thing...you can meet someone online and have a great time...but you never know if they are talking to/seeing someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 I don't know...that doesn't look good. You mean to tell me that in 7 days...he didn't once have any time to check his phone? So he wasn't texting or calling anyone else?? Did you meet this guy online? Because I had a similar situation...I met a guy and we had an AMAZING date...then all the sudden he was distant...not responding until hours or days later. I found out that he had gone on another date the night after I met him and was pursuing her. We had met online...and thats the thing...you can meet someone online and have a great time...but you never know if they are talking to/seeing someone else. Ditto. Seven days time still gave him at once every 30 mins or so to check his phone. Really, even the Mac and PC guy need a phone to reach clients.... Ugh, hello? What stopped him from texting a simple hi or even sry too busy to text, ttyl.... OMG that took me less than 4 minutes... Wow Link to post Share on other sites
lavalamp Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 I think you should respond unless he acted like a jerk with you on the date. Maybe you should jokingly respond by asking why it took him seven days to get back to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 It takes 5 seconds to respond to a text, I could see if he didn't check his phone for a few hours, but 7 days is a little rediculous. Text him back, but let him initiate the next date. You will then be able to see what his interest level is. Unfortunately, as singvoice said, he could have met someone else and is persuing her now. Hope that isn't the case though! Link to post Share on other sites
Back Burner Gal Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 I would have waited at least 3 days to respond. Maybe even 7. Match the effort. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 Given that she has virtually zero invested, no reason not to respond to his text. If he does it again, that's a message sent loud and clear. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AriesGal Posted February 15, 2011 Author Share Posted February 15, 2011 He still didn't replied after I replied to him yesterday. SingVoice! U r right. We met online. I also think he might have pursued another girl. But if that's the case, why he still bothers to reply after a week? Is he trying to put me as a backup in case if things don't go well with that girl? And it's not possible, someone is ever that busy to respond to a text esp if he has some interest. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 Yep, that would have been it for me. If someone's interested, I'd expect them to be in touch sooner than a week. He works in IT, he should be able to check a mobile phone! Life's too short to wait and wonder. There are others who wouldn't leave it that long to get in touch. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 He still didn't replied after I replied to him yesterday. That punk. Well his loss. Aries girls are fiery and fun! Are people you meet online more suceptible to flakiness? Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 He still didn't replied after I replied to him yesterday. SingVoice! U r right. We met online. I also think he might have pursued another girl. But if that's the case, why he still bothers to reply after a week? Is he trying to put me as a backup in case if things don't go well with that girl? And it's not possible, someone is ever that busy to respond to a text esp if he has some interest. I have two very perfect examples- a friend I know had an ex who lied to her about his job and how his contracts with his IT clients hinder him from replying to texts. She later found out he had een juggling another girlfriend at the same time. Then there's me- dating a guy for almost a month, and a week after no contact, he spills he has a girlfriend after we slept together. Yeah.... please don't give them the benefit of the doubt unless they're either really stupid with their phones, or they're on jury duty and in the witness protection program. Link to post Share on other sites
daphne Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 And it's not possible, someone is ever that busy to respond to a text esp if he has some interest. Sure it is. He could have been holed up in the hospital or in jail for speeding. But he wasn't now, was he? Btw, this happened to me too. I responded a few days later. He responded almost another week later. I just moved on. Giving the benefit of the doubt can be a time wasting effort. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AriesGal Posted February 18, 2011 Author Share Posted February 18, 2011 That punk. Well his loss. Aries girls are fiery and fun! Are people you meet online more suceptible to flakiness? Thanks. Yeah. They are susceptible to flakiness. It's very difficult to find someone you like who likes you the same way. I have guys asking me out, but some of them turned out to be weirdos, insecure, controlling or manipulative guys, or boring guys with no life at all who will suck all the life out of u. And the guys I m interested turned out to be flaky, disappeared or they are not looking for a relationship, or they just want sex, etc.. Sighssss... Link to post Share on other sites
Author AriesGal Posted February 18, 2011 Author Share Posted February 18, 2011 Then there's me- dating a guy for almost a month, and a week after no contact, he spills he has a girlfriend after we slept together. Yeah.... please don't give them the benefit of the doubt unless they're either really stupid with their phones, or they're on jury duty and in the witness protection program. Arrggggg..what a jerk! After he slept with you he spilled the beans.. How convenient! Link to post Share on other sites
Author AriesGal Posted February 18, 2011 Author Share Posted February 18, 2011 Sure it is. He could have been holed up in the hospital or in jail for speeding. But he wasn't now, was he? Btw, this happened to me too. I responded a few days later. He responded almost another week later. I just moved on. Giving the benefit of the doubt can be a time wasting effort. No he wasn't in hospital nor in jail nor in any emergency situation. Link to post Share on other sites
nwsingleguy Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 Yeah, move on. I usually have a 24 hour rule. No matter how busy you are, you can respond to a text. He is stringing you along. There are plenty of guys out there. I can tell you that unless it is extremely strange circumstances, I always respond to texts or phone calls within about 6 hours....especially from girls I dated. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 Thanks. Yeah. They are susceptible to flakiness. It's very difficult to find someone you like who likes you the same way. I have guys asking me out, but some of them turned out to be weirdos, insecure, controlling or manipulative guys, or boring guys with no life at all who will suck all the life out of u. And the guys I m interested turned out to be flaky, disappeared or they are not looking for a relationship, or they just want sex, etc.. Sighssss... Which just goes to show that men are easy to figure out. The way they show interest is textbook knowledge- they either chase, or they disappear. Link to post Share on other sites
PurpleReign Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 I wouldn't have replied. Anyone who owns a cell phone and knows how to type will get back with you within a reasonable amount of time. Someone in IT is glued to their phone and should get back to you even quicker. I've said it before and I'll say it again.... guys are not AT ALL complicated. If they want to see you/talk to you, THEY WILL. Period. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 Arrggggg..what a jerk! After he slept with you he spilled the beans.. How convenient! Haha yeah, the only thing I was really mad about was the fact he had been dating someone else while dating me. I'm all for multidating but seriously, asking me for exclusivity early on and then telling me I was out of the equation was a mind- fu-k. Link to post Share on other sites
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