Heartsick - Did I dump my fiance too soon?

[Curly Q]

I need to do some serious venting and think that this may be the place.. Not sure if I am insane or not LOL.

 

I have been dating my boyfriend for about 3 years, and 2 years ago moved across the country to be closer to him, hoping to build more of a relationship. I lived on my own and he lived on his own. We have not lived together at all.

 

Things were so slow to progress, and I spent so much of my time alone, but I built a really good and successful life in my new home, great job, nice apartment etc. Made friends.. About 6 months ago, I decided to give my b/f a push and told him that if he didn't know yet if he wanted to marry me, then that is a sign that he doesn't want to. I threatened to leave him unless he proposed to me. That we should make a goal and plan for the future or part ways because it just isn' t meant to be. He did propose and told me that he wanted to spend his life with me.

 

My time living about 10 miles away from him has been rough. We rarely go out, we usually just wind up hanging out either at his house or my apartment. he works a job that has him on call, so we don't get to go out much without him being called in and having to ditch our time. It is painful but I put up with it in promise of things would be better down the road. We are finally at the point were things could change for the better, but it has been so long that I am already a bit bitter and burned out

 

He did propose, and I don't doubt that he loves me but recently i went on a trip on a family emergency and in my time away I found out that I was more lonely in arizona than I though. It didn' t hit me until I was with family and not lonely. I came home and my now fiance told me he is working all weekend and that I wouldn't see him for about 5 days. I am so hurt and lonely. I am tired of always coming home to an empty apartment and not having him around more to share life with. I went a bit over the top and basically dumped him. I am so lost though because I don't know if that was the right thing to do. Maybe I should have given him more time because his saying things would change was fairly recent. Our engagement is only a few weeks old. I don't know.. please some insight...

 

Sorry for the novel, but I feel so lost and I can't stop rambling because I don't know if I did the right thing. I miss him already and it has been less than a week. Should I have given him more of a chance, or was dumping him the right thing?

[kgal]

I think you need to do what makes YOU happy and leave it at that.

[moimeme]

All relationships have to go through tough times. How you deal with them is a good clue to how you'll be in a marriage. It seems that you are unwilling or unable to deal with his work schedule. He may have to follow this schedule for a while longer or there may be other times when he has to work a lot. If you bail every time you think you're not getting enough attention, then it's good you bailed before you married. I think it's a little bizarre that your cure for not seeing him enough is to not see him at all but whatever.

[Arabess]

CURLYQ!!!!!!

 

You threatened to break up with him to get him to propose and now you've broken up with him because he worked too many hours. That's just MEAN! LOL!

 

It sounds like you are manipulating him without any thought of HIS feelings. This does not make for a good marriage. If you aren't prepared to be committed and make compromises...maybe it would be best if you left the poor guy alone and found someone who was more suited for you.

[Vivid_29]

That's really f**ked up of you, Curly Q. You threaten to leave him, unless he proposes, and when he does, you dump him anyway! What the hell is wrong with you, anyway?

 

I miss him already and it has been less than a week.

 

Feeling guilty, are we? You should miss him because his only crime was not spending enough time with you, due to his work schedule.

 

And if you do try and go back to him, I hope he's got the balls to not accept you back! You don't deserve him!

 

~Vivid