bunklife Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 Let's start off and say um a 20 year old virgin that has never had a girlfriend. For some reason I have a hard time opening up to people. I can never come up with topics to talk about. After the "hey, how are you?" question my mind draws a blank and I can't think of anything to say after. Or If I'm at the bar I can never go up to a girl and just start a conversation cus I can't think of anything to say. Is there a problem with me or what can I do to help me talk to people without the awkward silence？ Link to post Share on other sites
thatsonlyme Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 Nothing is wrong with you. some people are just more social than others. my advice is, try not to focus on a fact that you're a virgin, try not to look at girls as potential girlfriends/sexual partners. Just try to be friendly and if you can't come up with any topics try to ask open end questions which will lead to people giving you topics to talk about. just a simple example, instead of asking "how are you" you could ask "how's your day been" and people will start talking. then all you have to do is listen to what they have to say and try to follow the conversation. think about it. if you ask "how are you" the answer will most likely be "good how are you"! if you ask "how's your day been" people will usually start to talk about things that happened to them that day. It's more complicated than that but it's a good start. learn small talk, no matter how stupid it is and despite the fact that you don't really care about that big snow storm that just happened last week. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyLady13 Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 Hi Bunk! Nothing's wrong with you. Everybody is different, that's all. Me, I'm one of those people I'd say is an expert at the art of BS and shooting the breeze (small talk) and can carry a conversation for hours for 10 quiet people. I'm just naturally pretty good at it. I find it easy to ask the right questions, can sense the vibe and mood of the people I'm around and have no problem being the initiator to get things going. How does this help you? It doesn't. Like I said, I'm naturally good at this. What I've noticed over the years that may help you is whenever I've met or known someone like you, I have found that every time a subject comes up someone like you knows a lot about, it changes everything in a second. The quiet person that had nothing to say suddenly is a chatterbox. You mentioned bar situations. Those places for the most part are for small talk, nothing too in depth most of the time. Go with your strong points! Put yourself in places where people will have common interests with you so that you do have something to say. But if you do hang out in a bar...if you can, pick some music. Why? Well, eventually some girl will notice you picked a band she likes too and you guys will have tons to talk about! Link to post Share on other sites
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