superkid Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 Hi everybody, After my ex girlfriend broke our relationship of 2 years with me about a month ago, she was already seeing another guy about a week after our split. Is this considered as a rebound? I had a buddy check up on her and she was still a little bit emotional about the whole breakup, but she decides to go with him anyways. Right now I'm in NC, but we work in the same place :s. So how is this going to work? Link to post Share on other sites
fiat500 Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 it may or may not be. some people have another person lined up before they break up from an established relationship. best thing you can do is disappear and let her figure out on her own that she messed up. if you're still in her life, she'll become desensitized to your presence and it will help her move on from you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author superkid Posted February 17, 2011 Author Share Posted February 17, 2011 this whole thing I find is so stupid, i'm not even joking. She split up with me, then a day or two after this dickhead tells her he likes her. Then i was like wtf man, i was just hanging out with the guy two days before we split up. I have a feeling towards the breakup, this guy and her group of friends manipulated her somehow. Those group of friends want this dickhead and my ex together so they manipulated her to try this guy out. I really think thats what happened. Even though my friends are telling me to find a new girl I just can't for now. I'm still recovering, but I'm feeling so much better. Im alright with hearing news that they go out and stuff, but it just the fact on how everything went down post-breakup is retarded. But I feel like I learned from my lesson, I know what my mistakes were, I learned from it and grown from it. I just want another chance with her if its possible. Link to post Share on other sites
Rose T Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 I'm sorry to hear about all this superkid - working together must be tough, too. But remember, don't be angry about the group of friends or even the other guy - it was your ex that you let you down, she should have stood up for your relationship even if other people were interfering, and the fact that she didn't tells you a lot about her. She's not blameless, she's the one that hurt you and you should examine very carefully if you really want to get back with someone who could just check out your relationship like that and hook up with someone else. Maybe she even had him lined up before - when it's this quick, you sadly have to be suspicious. For now, stay strong, stay dignified and enjoy being on your own. It's not the right time to find a new girl and it might not even be the right time to think about taking your ex back. Look after number one. Link to post Share on other sites
Author superkid Posted February 17, 2011 Author Share Posted February 17, 2011 I'm sorry to hear about all this superkid - working together must be tough, too. But remember, don't be angry about the group of friends or even the other guy - it was your ex that you let you down, she should have stood up for your relationship even if other people were interfering, and the fact that she didn't tells you a lot about her. She's not blameless, she's the one that hurt you and you should examine very carefully if you really want to get back with someone who could just check out your relationship like that and hook up with someone else. Maybe she even had him lined up before - when it's this quick, you sadly have to be suspicious. For now, stay strong, stay dignified and enjoy being on your own. It's not the right time to find a new girl and it might not even be the right time to think about taking your ex back. Look after number one. I am enjoying being on my own, I'm slowly reconnecting with my family and friends that i haven't hung out with in 2 years. It feels great that I have them back again. (: Link to post Share on other sites
JasonRules Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 After my ex girlfriend broke our relationship of 2 years with me about a month ago, she was already seeing another guy about a week after our split. Is this considered as a rebound? I'm in my upper 30s soon to be turning 40, so I wanted to give you some insight based on my experience. You're ex-girlfriend already knew this guy before she broke up with you. She wanted to date this guy instead and in order to do that she broke up with you. Women very seldomly just break up with some guy out of the blue for petty reasons after investing in a 2 year relationship. She had already made up her mind to dump you for this guy. There is no way in hell that anyone can end a 2 year relationship with someone and a week later already be seeing someone. I imagine she was already messing around prior to your split, whether in the physical and emotional sense I am not sure, but definitely in the emotional sense. My advice to you is to not be naive about her. Ultimately, you have to ask yourself, why would you want to be with a woman like this anyway if she was already messing around prior to your breakup. If I was in your shoes, I would never want to talk to her ever again, nor hear her name spoken. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Tiredguy Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 After my ex girlfriend broke our relationship of 2 years with me about a month ago, she was already seeing another guy about a week after our split. Is this considered as a rebound? Like Jason said, this isn't a rebound, she flat out left you for another guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Coolsbreeze Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 Hi everybody, After my ex girlfriend broke our relationship of 2 years with me about a month ago, she was already seeing another guy about a week after our split. Is this considered as a rebound? I had a buddy check up on her and she was still a little bit emotional about the whole breakup, but she decides to go with him anyways. Right now I'm in NC, but we work in the same place :s. So how is this going to work? Superkid i'm sorry about your breakup, it just infuriates me when i hear about this. Mainly because this happened to me. But it sounds like she didn't even have the decency to tell you the truth about her feelings. Women like this are usually confused, when they're confused like that it's hard to believe that they ever really loved you or cared about you. Link to post Share on other sites
JasonRules Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 Like Jason said, this isn't a rebound, she flat out left you for another guy. Although she might have been hit with "TGIG" syndrome due to you being in a relationship for 2 years, but you have to see it this way. If you were getting ready to propose it's better that she did dump you for another guy because you didn't go and shell out thousands like a moron to buy her a ring. Plus, if a relationship isn't meant to be then the sooner the breakup occurs the better for you. Personally, I don't take back exes who have slept with someone else after me. It's my cardinal rule, but if you want to take her back and wait around like a puppy go ahead. She'll be having a blast with the new guy and you can be sitting at home feeling miserable and moping about. If I were you, I'd go NC, kill all my feelings for her and find someone else. When she realizes she's in a trainwreck with the new guy, she'll be coming back to you begging etc, but by then you won't even care to take her back. She'll be old news... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author superkid Posted February 18, 2011 Author Share Posted February 18, 2011 i think she might be suffering from GIGS lol. Ive been looking at other options for the past week. Im not really to go into a new relationship, but i feel a whole lot better ever since I started NC. Ever since NC i just been going outt with friends and family, and I'm having a blast. Its getting easier and easier everyday but theres still some pain and hurt that lingers in my mind every now and then, but I won't let her bring me down, while I put her ego and pride higher and higher F' Her hahaha Link to post Share on other sites
Leandro Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 If I were you, I'd go NC, kill all my feelings for her and find someone else. When she realizes she's in a trainwreck with the new guy, she'll be coming back to you begging etc, but by then you won't even care to take her back. She'll be old news... This^^^^ My ex left me for another guy too OP. It sucks, but it's better than later. I just think it's stupid how they lie to your face. They know you're going to find out later. Just go NC and forget about her. You don't need a girl like that. Link to post Share on other sites
JasonRules Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 i think she might be suffering from GIGS lol. Ive been looking at other options for the past week. Im not really to go into a new relationship, but i feel a whole lot better ever since I started NC. Ever since NC i just been going outt with friends and family, and I'm having a blast. Its getting easier and easier everyday but theres still some pain and hurt that lingers in my mind every now and then, but I won't let her bring me down, while I put her ego and pride higher and higher F' Her hahaha She'll be back anyway. Trust me on this one. Once the honeymoon phase is over with this guy, she'll be back. Just make sure you maintain strict NC. After a few weeks she'll start thinking about you because the loser she is with is going to start making mistakes. Then she will begin to doubt her decision. Then fear will engulf her because she will be afraid you might meet someone else etc. Just go MIA...trust me on this one. I'm a veteran. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Rose T Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 She'll be back anyway. Trust me on this one. Once the honeymoon phase is over with this guy, she'll be back. Just make sure you maintain strict NC. After a few weeks she'll start thinking about you because the loser she is with is going to start making mistakes. Then she will begin to doubt her decision. Then fear will engulf her because she will be afraid you might meet someone else etc. Just go MIA...trust me on this one. I'm a veteran. Love this!! I'm exactly in the middle of this situation now with my ex boyfriend and the NC is starting to make him sweat. Only the loser decided to leave me for a colleague at his new job and he has no idea to back out of that one. Meanwhile I'm off the radar... Link to post Share on other sites
poorguy Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 She'll be back anyway. Trust me on this one. Once the honeymoon phase is over with this guy, she'll be back. Just make sure you maintain strict NC. After a few weeks she'll start thinking about you because the loser she is with is going to start making mistakes. Then she will begin to doubt her decision. Then fear will engulf her because she will be afraid you might meet someone else etc. Just go MIA...trust me on this one. I'm a veteran. That's funny you just said this because it's pretty much what I was gointo write!!!! Yeah though just kick bac and relax and let the whole relationship run it's course. Don't be involved in any way shape or form. I used to wonder about rebound and I think I've even stated a few threads about them on her at some point. Well, now that my head is clear I don't really ned any advice but I will tell you what has happened to me in the past and FYI hisory generally repeats itself. Ok first LTR got GIGS. I went NC and moved on to my second LTR. The first LTR girl tried to come back 1.5 year later for over a year. Third LTR began after the second was done then the second LTR girl tried to come back for 6 months straight... I guess the commn theme here wasall three had GIGS and went right into new amazing love of their life relationships-I went away. Guess what none of them worked out, then guess what they remembered me-the guy who kept cool and moved on with his life Link to post Share on other sites
Author superkid Posted February 19, 2011 Author Share Posted February 19, 2011 She'll be back anyway. Trust me on this one. Once the honeymoon phase is over with this guy, she'll be back. Just make sure you maintain strict NC. After a few weeks she'll start thinking about you because the loser she is with is going to start making mistakes. Then she will begin to doubt her decision. Then fear will engulf her because she will be afraid you might meet someone else etc. Just go MIA...trust me on this one. I'm a veteran. are relationship was great, very little arguements, lots of love and caring, and lots of having fun and random spontaneous adventures lol. Then she said all this crap to me about how I stopped trying and everything. Then she tells me one of the guys she hangs out with likes her as soon as we split up then I was like wtf man. Then I find out shes seeing someone a week later. Like cmon. Link to post Share on other sites
susanfollows Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 I'll be honest superkid, she doesn't want a boyfriend she just wants a little fun. When she said you stopped trying she meant you weren't exciting her anymore or making her feel thrilled. I know I've said that to guys before who got to comfortable in the situation we had going and thought I'd love them forever despite them being BORING. Really you need to find a girl that's new and will be interested in you, your girlfriend is lying to you she's probably just hooked up with this guy because he's cute and her girlfriends wanted them too, that's the only reason. Link to post Share on other sites
Author superkid Posted February 19, 2011 Author Share Posted February 19, 2011 I'll be honest superkid, she doesn't want a boyfriend she just wants a little fun. When she said you stopped trying she meant you weren't exciting her anymore or making her feel thrilled. I know I've said that to guys before who got to comfortable in the situation we had going and thought I'd love them forever despite them being BORING. Really you need to find a girl that's new and will be interested in you, your girlfriend is lying to you she's probably just hooked up with this guy because he's cute and her girlfriends wanted them too, that's the only reason. Idk about the cute thing lol. haha. she hangs out with more guys then girls. but those group of guys prolly knew that he liked her and just waited for the right opportunity and look what happened, i have a feeling that she was manipulated in some sort of way. Link to post Share on other sites
susanfollows Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 Idk about the cute thing lol. haha. she hangs out with more guys then girls. but those group of guys prolly knew that he liked her and just waited for the right opportunity and look what happened, i have a feeling that she was manipulated in some sort of way. Like I said I've hooked up with guys before solely based on the fact my girlfriends thought we'd look hot together. I didn't take those to seriously though and she's not either, it's more a fun experimental stage for her. the sad thing is you should be moving on and get totally out of her life, that's the only way my girlfriends learned you can't treat men like ****. Sorry again superkid...... also having alot of guys friends is bad, the only reason my best friend had them was to get drunk and sleep with them so she could tell me the next day, eventually I got tired of hearing about it and told her to get lost. Link to post Share on other sites
Leandro Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 i have a feeling that she was manipulated in some sort of way. That's what I thought at first with my ex, but we need to stop making excuses for our exes. We just need to accept the mistakes we made. I know I made mistakes, but it's not she was perfect either. My next relationship will be way better and I will see the red flags wayyy in advance. Link to post Share on other sites
gator12 Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 Like I said I've hooked up with guys before solely based on the fact my girlfriends thought we'd look hot together. I didn't take those to seriously though and she's not either, it's more a fun experimental stage for her. the sad thing is you should be moving on and get totally out of her life, that's the only way my girlfriends learned you can't treat men like ****. Sorry again superkid...... also having alot of guys friends is bad, the only reason my best friend had them was to get drunk and sleep with them so she could tell me the next day, eventually I got tired of hearing about it and told her to get lost. Yes girlfriends can and I am not excusing his at all but you cannot assume she is just like you or your friends. People are different, yea she does want to have fun because she is young but it doesn't mean she will take it as superficially as "looking good together" being the basis of a relationship, I mean seriously. Why even date the guy, that isn't fair to him. -Gator Link to post Share on other sites
Author superkid Posted February 19, 2011 Author Share Posted February 19, 2011 Like I said I've hooked up with guys before solely based on the fact my girlfriends thought we'd look hot together. I didn't take those to seriously though and she's not either, it's more a fun experimental stage for her. the sad thing is you should be moving on and get totally out of her life, that's the only way my girlfriends learned you can't treat men like ****. Sorry again superkid...... also having alot of guys friends is bad, the only reason my best friend had them was to get drunk and sleep with them so she could tell me the next day, eventually I got tired of hearing about it and told her to get lost. i am moving on, cause getting stuck hoping and waiting will just slow the process of healing even more, ive pretty much vanished from her life haha. you know what she told me when we had our closure. She was like, we've been through so much together, you changed my whole life yada yada yada and I really hope you can be my friend. I was like F that, I can't be your friend. Its either all or nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Username37 Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 damn sounds like my ex. She got with someone in 3 weeks after telling me "I'm not looking for a bf until college" blah blah Long story short. She got with 5 dudes and I'm on NC. Get lost from her life and start diving in your life dude Link to post Share on other sites
gator12 Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 Its either all or nothing. Exactly, they can't have their cake and eat it too, stay strong. You will be healed before you know it. -Gator Link to post Share on other sites
fiat500 Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 rarely do relationships where someone leaves an ex and jumps straight into another one work out. people love the honeymoon phase. they don't understand what love really is. they don't know how to be an adult and work through things. when the same real problems show their ugly head with the new person who they thought was going to be so much fun, reality sets in. and it's time to go again/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author superkid Posted February 21, 2011 Author Share Posted February 21, 2011 So she checked up on me recently through a friend. she says shes doing fine. I on the other hand am doing great myself, ive been working out, going out, she pretty much left my head. I think Ive moved on to a pretty good level. I feel great, happy and back to my old self. So my buddy says I should be there as a "passive friend". Is this a good idea? He says she really wants me to be there. And he said I would have a good chance on getting her back, causeol he said he noticed that shes hanging around the opposite group of ppl she would normally hang out with. He says that he sees that there are incompatibility issues. I told him not to judge anything yet, cause you never know. Im really worried about her, especially of his relationship history. I really care about her, I dont want her to get hurt in anyway, but I guess karma will take its route. "Sometimes it is true that the grass seems greener on the other side because we are too far to see the flaws whereas the grass under our feet are so near to us that we can see all the flaws on it. It will help us appreciate what is right in front of us, if we focus on the good points instead of the flaws" Link to post Share on other sites
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