My future versus my love life.

[HedgewellPark]

This is a really complicated situation that I simply can't figure out an answer for. So maybe you guys can help me get some perspective.

 

I'm facing a choice between having a better life or having the girl of my dreams. I've been unemployed for the past decade, and my life has been at a standstill. I'd pretty much given up hope, but one of my friends has managed to pull some strings and opened up a path for me to basically get a career, a house, a car, and my own life. I will have friends to hang around again, and I will finally escape this downward spiral I have been going through for almost a third of my life. Me and her are incredibly close, and we just recently came out of a conflict that caused us to lose contact for an entire three years where we both thought the other didn't want to talk to us. Finally she made the first move and we cleared it all up, and are closer than family now.

 

Thing is, me and her would never work out in a relationship. There are certain differences in our personality that simply wouldn't make it work. And we understand that, but we are still absolutely inseparable. Closer than family, even.

 

Well I just recently met this girl, she's absolutely adorable, her personality is amazing, she attracts me in every single way. I've never met a girl I was so attracted to. And right now me and her are in the "friendly flirting" stage. There is potential for something to happen, but I'm keeping my distance. She's starting to pursue me a bit, so I can't make her wait forever.

 

Problem comes here. My best friend and me just recently got back in touch, and she's extremely protective and very clingy. (In a good way. I'm just as clingy to her, sort of like if your best friend died, and then suddenly they were alive again, we both do not want to lose each other again) The issue comes in the fact my best friend isn't quite ready to see me wander off and spend all my time with this new girl. She knows the jealousy issues are entirely unreasonable and not fair, but at the same time she can't help wanting to keep me to herself, at least until the initial shock that we didn't lose each other at all fades away.

 

My friend most certainly is going to help me get my own life started, and will be a tremendous help in making things right for me.

 

And I am completely enamored with this girl I just met. And women NEVER go after me. So the fact a beautiful, funny, interesting, smart girl is flirting with me is absolutely unbelievable to me.

 

If I go after the girl I may drive off my friend who is understandably still freaking out and wants to spend all her time with me for now because we lost so much time together.

 

If I ignore the girl, she'll lose interest and wander off to some random douchebag, and I'll be back to being a dateless wonder with no women giving a damn about me.

 

Security, or romance.

 

I know the friend isn't considering my feelings, but she says she knows it is selfish. And she wishes she wasn't so clingy right now. And I care about her so much that the fact she's being a little selfish doesn't bother me at all. Both of us were MISERABLE when we lost contact. Both of our lives went to HELL.

 

So that's the issue. I go after the girl and I have no money and no life, still living with my parents. So I'm not such a prize, then again, she knows where I am right now in my life and still seems interested. I go after the security and while my life will stabilize, the girl will be lost. And to give perspective, I have been on one single date in my life. I have never had a girlfriend. And I'm not getting any younger.

 

Is the answer here obvious to anyone? I'm at a loss.

[Duckduckgoose]

I would take security over romance any day.

[HedgewellPark]

Ah well it doesn't matter now. The girl made a move on me and my friend caught it. She freaked out and the situation came out into the open. My friend is done with me ( and probably off to end her life ) and the girl is creeped out ( and certainly off to get back with her ex ). So I lost both of them in the matter of three minutes and my life is now over. This is more like the type of stuff I am used to.