FLOrida432 Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 Here's my situation... I met and became good friends with this guy and we've been super flirty since December. However, we're both leaving town in a few months and there are lots of other factors that play into me not having romantic feelings toward him. I think he's cute and fun, but I don't want him to be my boyfriend. I'm also preoccupied with a lot of things at the moment and a boyfriend would be a whole other level of stuff that I don't have time for. So this guy would call me up and tell me I was beautiful, joke about having sex with me, etc. Then one day, he told me he cared a lot about me and it sort of freaked me out, so I kind of stopped being so flirty because I wasn't sure what I wanted this "relationship" to progress into. Finally, I decided to go for FWB because it is a good situation. I know he doesn't want a girlfriend, I don't want a boyfriend (more specifically, I don't think he would be a good boyfriend at ALL--which sounds terrible...but...). I like him a lot as a friend, but I haven't known him long enough where if we were no longer friends, I would be super upset. I mean, it would be sad, but not devastating if that makes sense? I've hung out with him a couple times recently and everyone has been joking about us hooking up. I know he's busy right now, but lately, he hasn't been as responsive and hasn't initiated a lot of contact the way he used to. Although to be fair...he has gone through periods of lapse and then talking to me. We are both kind of shy when it comes to initiating sex (we haven't even kissed yet, but from what he's told me, he's very shy) so I had a friend (who is also his good friend, so we feel he's being honest) put feelers out (very recently) to see if he would hook up with me in an FWB way and he said he was interested and had thought about it before. But it was worded in a hypothetical way, so I'm not sure he took it as the green light. The thing is, I'm not sure where to go with this. I'm always nervous I'm bothering him or that he thinks I'm trying to be his girlfriend and sometimes I'm nervous he wants to me my boyfriend... bah. I've tried to FWB before with one other person and the guy got very confused and kept trying to clarify that he didn't want a girlfriend...which I was very aware of. This guy hasn't done that to me, but I don't want it to turn into where he thinks I'm annoying and/or trying to date him. What should my next move be? It's so silly, I know...I'm just nervous and it looks like this is all resting on my shoulders. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 Find a guy who's actually interested in a relationship? If you have to overthink, overanalyze and over evaluate a guy and his need for sex, relationship, and/or otherwise, they're usually not the ones for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FLOrida432 Posted February 18, 2011 Author Share Posted February 18, 2011 I'm not interested in a relationship with him. Or in general right now. I overanalyze everything...even in friendships. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 I'm not interested in a relationship with him. Or in general right now. I overanalyze everything...even in friendships. So the problem isn't him, it's you. It's not complicated but if you have to make it so, please avoid it. Link to post Share on other sites
Roadlesstaken Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 If you have to overthink, overanalyze and over evaluate a guy and his need for sex, relationship, and/or otherwise, they're usually not the ones for you. Best piece of advice ever. Link to post Share on other sites
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