Rightlymia Posted March 26, 2004 Share Posted March 26, 2004 Hey Has anyone ever had a friends with benefits situation turn into more? I'm in that situation right now and I just want to know if I'm wasting my time. It's been a year now. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted March 26, 2004 Share Posted March 26, 2004 Usually what happens is one person wants more and the other doesn't. Occasionally, neither wants anything, and I'm sure sometimes both want something, but chances are, after a year, that ain't gonna happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Girlie Posted March 26, 2004 Share Posted March 26, 2004 I wouldn't count on it. If he/she can't commit after a year, it's unlikely. If you're unhappy about it, you can always discuss it him/her, and that's not a bad idea. At least it would let you know for sure whether or not you should be moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
End of my rope Posted March 26, 2004 Share Posted March 26, 2004 I was in that situation once. We were originally hooking up just for mutual satisfaction. And after about 6 months I started becoming attatched to him. We talked about it and started "dating". It didn't work. We always had a good time. We could hang out together, laugh, have a good time...and we had amazingly passionate sex...but there wasn't the "za za zoom" that's needed in a long term relaionship. We liked on another, but we weren't IN love with one another. So we stopped dating and drifted apart...so I lost a damn good !@#% buddy too! Take from that what you will...that's my one and only experiance with a friend with benefits. Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted March 27, 2004 Share Posted March 27, 2004 I have been in a few of these situations with people, and nothing more has ever come out of it. People tend to get hurt in these situations, as someone will always begin to develop feelings. Over time the friendship tends to carry the stresses of a more exclusive relationship. It doesn't seem like anything is going to happen with your situation. You might get hurt considering you are hopeful the friendship might develop into more than it already is. Link to post Share on other sites
OrlandoGirl Posted March 27, 2004 Share Posted March 27, 2004 This way for everyone.. but i'm marrying mine Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted March 28, 2004 Share Posted March 28, 2004 WHOA! When did that happen? Congrats! I'll be in LA at the end of next month, btw. Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted March 28, 2004 Share Posted March 28, 2004 Originally posted by OrlandoGirl This way for everyone.. but i'm marrying mine What? Link to post Share on other sites
Cariel Posted March 28, 2004 Share Posted March 28, 2004 Like Orlando Girl, I'll be marrying mine . But, we both knew from that first freewheeling, un-attched roll in the hay it was going to be more...and we'd been friends for 4 years at that point! Link to post Share on other sites
OrlandoGirl Posted March 28, 2004 Share Posted March 28, 2004 Yeah..sometimes it DOES happen to work out like that. And like you, we both knew there was more in the beginning as well. oh..btw UCFdude, enjoy yourself in LA! Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted March 28, 2004 Share Posted March 28, 2004 this is kinda shocking, i never thought that was possible. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted March 28, 2004 Share Posted March 28, 2004 Originally posted by OrlandoGirl This way for everyone.. but i'm marrying mine o! i thought you were already married! because of this: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?threadid=34525 but i expect that was an ex-husband? anyway, congrats! Link to post Share on other sites
Pebbles59 Posted March 28, 2004 Share Posted March 28, 2004 I guess I can only want, wish and hope that marriage will end up in our sitaution. But outlook doesn't look very good!!! Pebbles Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted March 28, 2004 Share Posted March 28, 2004 Originally posted by jenny o! i thought you were already married! because of this: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?threadid=34525 but i expect that was an ex-husband? anyway, congrats! hmm interesting. Link to post Share on other sites
OrlandoGirl Posted March 29, 2004 Share Posted March 29, 2004 that could be deemed confusing! since we already feel and live the married life..Our "nicknames" are husband and wife It's hokey I know! Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted March 29, 2004 Share Posted March 29, 2004 Yeah i know people that do that, i find it disturbing actually, not that i have anything against you OG.lol Link to post Share on other sites
OrlandoGirl Posted March 29, 2004 Share Posted March 29, 2004 Why? Oh well, to each his own..to us it's cute, for you it's gag fest usa..bfd is what I say Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted March 29, 2004 Share Posted March 29, 2004 im really not sure why, but yeah BFD sums it up. Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted March 29, 2004 Share Posted March 29, 2004 Back to the original topic- after a year I'd be getting worried. I've been down the FWB path only once, and it did not work for me. I can't separate my emotions...so I'm just not suited to casual sex. I don't want you to get hurt. Talk to your friend about this. If he wants more, super! If not, you might be best walking away from the situation. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Kate Posted April 1, 2004 Share Posted April 1, 2004 Definitely can happen. I was friends with my guy for 3 years but he was in a relationship. He broke up with her (NOTHING to do with me, I wasn't even living within 1000 miles of him at the time) and I moved back near him 3 weeks later. A month later I was his New Years date -- we had sex for the next month or so...but just sex...I didn't even know if I wanted that or to just have a friendship at that point, and neither did he! We discussed it. But the ONE DAY...about 2 months after being f%&$ buddies, something happened....I went to his house to bring him dinner, but something just felt different. We looked at eachother wierd, our kisses got extremely soft, and we were acting different. It was the first time I had other plans for the weekend and wanted to be only with him. SInce then it has been a slightly rocky transition...but if you can laugh like crazy with this person and you feel a mutual balance, it's great. I just hope mine lasts. I'm only on month 4! And I have my own emotional issues to attend to! Try pulling away from this guy slightly and having a diplomatic heart-to-heart about what he feels...what would he say if you dated someone else? Keep the faith for what you want -- if you do things "right", you should get it. Just be methodical about it. Link to post Share on other sites
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