Husband's comment turning in to a fight

[sally4sara]

I'm sorry but it does sound to me like you were getting more upset than the situation called for. He was just being upbeat and optimistic about your ability to weather pregnancy well.

 

100 lbs during pregnancy isn't unheard of but its not a common pregnancy related weight gain. I blimped the hell up due to some freaky excess amniotic fluid issue, gained around 60 lbs that went away quickly. Unless maintaining your weight is an ongoing battle, even if you do gain a lot of weight during pregnancy, your body seeks its natural weight level after labor if you're not stuffing food down your maw like an alley cat.

 

100 lbs quick weight gain speaks more to me as a glandular or thyroid condition than a pregnancy issue.

 

But in the end - if you're not currently packing on the pounds at an alarming rate or forever on diet pills to stay slim - why rip his butt and ruin you whole next day over a comment like that?

[neveragain1]

Am I not rational here? Shouldn't he have been a little more sensitive? I didn't scream at him or anything but I was really angry.

 

its expected that a woman will gain a little extra weight up and above the weight of the baby during pregnancy.

 

I think what he found absurd is the idea that simply being pregnant will make a woman put on 100lbs unless she was a glutton or something.

[allina]

Again, weight was the topic but not the issue. The issue was that I felt like he was dismissing something I was saying. I stated a fact he brushed me off.

 

Lets try an identical situation so that you guys aren't hung up on the weight thing. Lets say we were watching the news and something was said about unemployment/layoffs.

I say "Seeing this makes me worry about losing my job"

H says "It's fine you won't"

Me "A lot of people are losing their jobs, it could happen"

H "it's fine"

 

Clearly my losing my job or getting fat are out of my H's control, so him dismissing me with "it's fine" makes me feel like my feelings are silly to him and like he doesn't care.

 

Either way, it no longer matters. I got angry because H made me feel like I was being dumb and like he was uninterested in my feelings and what I had to say. I should have handled it better instead of getting angry but it pissed me off.

 

He wasn't "in the dog house" like someone said. I apologized for getting really angry, he said something similar to what TBF suggested and we moved on.

[Lauriebell82]

Again, weight was the topic but not the issue. The issue was that I felt like he was dismissing something I was saying. I stated a fact he brushed me off.

 

Lets try an identical situation so that you guys aren't hung up on the weight thing. Lets say we were watching the news and something was said about unemployment/layoffs.

I say "Seeing this makes me worry about losing my job"

H says "It's fine you won't"

Me "A lot of people are losing their jobs, it could happen"

H "it's fine"

 

Clearly my losing my job or getting fat are out of my H's control, so him dismissing me with "it's fine" makes me feel like my feelings are silly to him and like he doesn't care.

 

Either way, it no longer matters. I got angry because H made me feel like I was being dumb and like he was uninterested in my feelings and what I had to say. I should have handled it better instead of getting angry but it pissed me off.

 

He wasn't "in the dog house" like someone said. I apologized for getting really angry, he said something similar to what TBF suggested and we moved on.

 

From my experience, men don't always think things through in regards to reassuring their wives. I'm glad you guys worked things out. Anger is a natural emotion, it's what you do with that anger that matters.

[neveragain1]

Again, weight was the topic but not the issue. The issue was that I felt like he was dismissing something I was saying. I stated a fact he brushed me off.

 

I don't know about brushing you off, but women gaining 100lbs due to pregnancy is not a fact.

 

again, he probably thought it sounded more like an excuse for those women who did gain that kind of massive weight and saying it was pregnancy, when it was uncontrollable eating.

[make me believe]

The thing is, you're talking about 100 pounds. Not 30 or 40, which might be realistic. And since you describe yourself as someone who is into fitness & takes care of her body, it's no wonder he didn't take you seriously when you brought up your worries of gaining ONE HUNDRED pounds. I don't think that's the same as someone worrying about losing their job, because unemployment is much more likely & realistic than a woman gaining 100 lbs when she's pregnant. I think if you mentioned you were worried about 30 lbs, he'd know you were serious. But using 100 lbs as an example is so extreme & unrealistic that I think he just didn't realize your underlying fear was really there.