this is rocks girlfriend

[hopelsess-tony]

tony, i suggested to rock to post here cause we have been arguing alot lately. the reason i am on the computer so much is cause he is not here for me. he don't understand for one second what i am going through. i am very sensitive, always have been, and at times i get too sensitive and it bothers him so much that he hates it and tells me to go to counseling for it. it is not sympathetic at all and a few times has told me "it is all in your head", i tell him that that is degrading to say to me, he later apologizes after seeing how upset i am. so you know it is not just him who has alot to deal with to. he can go find someone else and because of our ages she may be going through the same thing or will eventually, but maybe not as bad as i am, will he leave her too or not be there for her either. i have tried to talk to him and tell him what i am going through, i told him this is going to be a long and bumpy ride and if he don't think he can handle it to get out now, he chose to stay. now tho i am not so sure i want him to stay, maybe i am better off alone, but he don't want to split up. yesterday we got in a fight cause he was gone too long and we had things to do, he said he tried calling but couldn't get through, my daughter got through, so we argued about that. i have a real hard time getting any sleep and we watch t.v. in bed every night, normally i don't mind. last night however, i finally fell asleep and so did he with the t.v. on, it later woke me up and i told him to turn it off, he literally yelled at me, "YOU ACT LIKE IT'S A FEDERAL CRIME TO HAVE THE T.V. ON!" i told him it was keeping me awake and that he was sleeping anyway. i have to put up with his moods too. i'm barely putting up with mind let alone trying to handle mine and his. if once i could cry on his shoulders and have him hold me and at least give me some compassion or support, i'd think a whole lot different about him then i do now. i worry tho, that if this splits us up and later when i feel normal again, then i may regret having left him, then what? i go around kicking myself for ever? so you see he is not the only one going through a hard time,i have a lot to deal with and he is not much help in dealing with it. so what can i do? i really feel bad for him for having to go through this with me, but how can he complain when he don't really have anything to do but be patient with me. it's not like i'm so whacked out that he can't be around me,i'm more worried, depressed and just trying to feel better. today i am demanding to my dr. that i want to see an endocrinologist and or i want to discuss the armour you had mentioned. i want to try this product called soy revival, it has 160 mgs of soy isoflavonades in it and it is suppose to be great in helping with alot of menopause problems, as it is i don't know if it is the thyroid or menopause making me insane. but there is a controversy about the soy that says it may aggravate the thyroid conditions, so what can i do? thank yo tony for listening again, i appreciate your advise to rock, unfortunately he don't believe much if anything anyone says, ya know he is too smart. so he thinks lol thanks again..

[Tony T]

You post here was not necessary. I have already read your about what you are going through a number of times. Your situation is bleak. You shouldn't be hassling this thing back and forth via this forum. That is juvenile.

 

If the two of you can't sit down and arrive at some rules of conduct that will take you through your menopause, which could last a good while, and your other anxieties you absolutely need to terminate this relationship and move on.

 

You simply can't be using an Internet forum to vent your anger constantly. Sit down with him when you are feeling calm, agree that both of you will remain calm, and has this out.

 

Get earplugs so you can sleep and the TV can remain on. The two of you are acting like five year olds!!!

[hopelsess-tony]

well excuseeeeee me for bothering you, i wont post here ever again. sorry to have been such a pest.

You post here was not necessary. I have already read your about what you are going through a number of times. Your situation is bleak. You shouldn't be hassling this thing back and forth via this forum. That is juvenile. If the two of you can't sit down and arrive at some rules of conduct that will take you through your menopause, which could last a good while, and your other anxieties you absolutely need to terminate this relationship and move on. You simply can't be using an Internet forum to vent your anger constantly. Sit down with him when you are feeling calm, agree that both of you will remain calm, and has this out. Get earplugs so you can sleep and the TV can remain on. The two of you are acting like five year olds!!!

[Tony T]

In reading over my post, I agree it wasn't as nicely written as it could have been, but the message remains the same.

 

This is a complex matter that must be dealt with between the two parties and the physician in charge of care. The two of you posting back and forth with the forum in the middle is not a constructive dispute resolution technique.

 

I am sorry my wording was out of line and so harsh and for that I sincerely apologize.

[Taressa]

Tony,

 

I think you handled the banter just fine. True, you did sound a bit exasperated in your last message but I suspect this is just how their relationship is: complaining at each other until one of them gets fed up.

 

You're right: if they don't care enough to listen and try to understand each other they are hopeless in this relationship.

 

Your strong stand put things where they should be - - back in their own hands. I suspect it's not advice but sympathy they were seeking.