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those of you who have slept or are sleeping around casually...


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Back in my butterfly boy days, I did it because I liked variety or was bored in a relationship.

 

 

~V

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because I was basically insecure, and I thought being sexually active "made" things right. By the time I realized I didn't need to do that to myself anymore, I was hooked ... LOL, now I'm married and it feels like I'm compensating for being a hoochie in college!

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'Cuz, plain and simple, for me, it's kinda fun. No insecurity, no trying to make myself feel better, it's just fun.

 

But I'd much rather have a steady one on one long lasting relationship.

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zarathustra

I found sex to be fun, exciting, affirming and rewarding. The quality of the sex did not hinge on love, but on attraction, imagination and play.

 

The sex was great as were the people with whom I played.

 

No regrets. :)

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tattoomytoe

because it was just physical sex and was fun. i like to call it my learning years! some people you meet are only good for one thing...and it does not involve any type of relationship.

 

 

and sometimes you stay friends.

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I went through a 5 to 7 year period of sleeping around. But at the time I didn't plan it that way.

 

It was as if I was endlessly searching for the right person but just kept being disappointed over and over.

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tattoomytoe

actually my boyfriend and i, we have been together almost a year and a half....i decided that i liked him so i did not sleep with him, until our 4th month together. i guess because i really liked him, all those other i just knew it would never go further than sex.

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HokeyReligions

I was brought up to believe that sex before marriage was a horrible sin. I was brainwashed as a child - but I still kind of hold on to the basis of that thought now.

 

I had one sexual experience before I was married. The guilt overrode the pleasure! There have been times (especially in my sexless marriage) where I wished I had slept around more--I had opportunities. But at the same time, I think sex is so personal and so valuable to a persons self respect and respect of others, that I could not just sleep around.

 

I don't look down on those who are sexually active and with multiple partners. It's a different generation from me. I can understand the curiosity and the desire for new experiences and the need for people--especially since people tend to stay single longer and tend to divorce more.

 

I doubt that when I am single again I will have any relationships that include sex. I don't plan on being that close to anyone again and I would not have sex without a commitment. I can't think of a word or phrase that does not have a religious connotation - but would describe sex as something holy or sanctified between two people who have made a commitment to each other.

 

It's like when you go out with friends - do you drink out of the same glass, or share silverware? But in a marriage couples tend to do that sort of thing. Its something that belongs to the couple and to no one else. That is what sex is to me--something that belongs to the couple and its special that way, and not to be shared with others.

 

On the other hand!---- After not having sex in my marriage for something like 14 years----I wish I had been more open and free when I was dating, then again, if I had been that way I may not have been able to have survived all these years without sex from my husband! :eek:

 

 

I like zarathustra's answer - I wish I could have been like that.

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Originally posted by HokeyReligions

But at the same time, I think sex is so personal and so valuable to a persons self respect and respect of others, that I could not just sleep around.

 

 

 

After many, too many, one night stands and short "only for sex" relationships I have found this out.

 

Most of my one night stands were uncomfortable, awkward and unfullfilling.

 

The best sex I ever had was with women I cared for and felt comfortable with.

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I've done it once in my life and I have to say, I did it because I was irresponsible and immature. I really can't think of any other reason. It was stupid. Luckily, I didn't end up having anything horrible happen to me. I got a beautiful child and was able to sort of live and learn from the experience.

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wow, we're alike in this! if i like the guy, i'll hold off the physical stuff a lot more; if i just find him attractive and i know it can only be physical, i go ahead easily... - better than pretending to start a r/s just to sleep w/ him, right? ;)

 

-yes

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tattoomytoe
Originally posted by yes

wow, we're alike in this! if i like the guy, i'll hold off the physical stuff a lot more; if i just find him attractive and i know it can only be physical, i go ahead easily... - better than pretending to start a r/s just to sleep w/ him, right? ;)

 

-yes

 

 

exactly! and the ones i am still friends with, they are all the time asking if i am still with my bf. i just say, keep in touch.

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My ex used to like to compare me to her "one night stands", so be careful how you expound on your "fun" years or it could ruin things when you meet someone you want to have a serious reationship with.

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Ms.Confused1

well I sleep around but it not that I mean to .. I'm looking for the right now but none of my relationships are long lasting so in the long run I'm left with just the fact I slept with many different guys! As a lady do u think it's wrong to sleep around if your being safe around it?? I mean it doesnt bother me but ... girls tend to get the name of hoe when u casually sleep with whomever

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Fedup&givingup
Originally posted by yes

those of you who have slept or are sleeping around casually... why do you do it??

 

-yes

 

Ok, good topic, and another hard lesson learned for me....

 

Ahem....

 

Once upon a time LOL.

 

Ok, seriously, when I was in college, my roommates and I went out to dinner one night. This waiter came over and started talking to us, and he was HOT to say the least. The three of us were amazed by him, and flattered that he went out of his way to come and chat with us because he was not our waiter, nor was even assisting our waiter.

 

Well, he came back, and he was talking to ME! He gave me his phone number and told me to call him. Well, of course I did. This guy was model material (it was his hair LOL). Everything about him was great-his apartment, the way he dressed, he was meticulous, etc. Well, I slept with him that night.

 

I hadn't ever done this before, so it was new to me....and I did NOT know what I was getting into. We saw each other a few times after that, and nothing ever evolved between us, although I wished it had.

 

I ran into him a few more times at this club I used to go to when I turned 21, and it was awkward.

 

Lesson learned...if you want something more than just a f*ck buddy with someone, don't give it up for a while.

 

That was years ago, and I have been in committed relationships since, so I have no idea about "casual sex" except it didn't work for me then.

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