tiger20 Posted February 20, 2011 Share Posted February 20, 2011 I think that women have more of a need for marriage than men do. Why is that? It seems like most men would be content to date a woman until the end of time if she was ok with that arrangement. But most women want to get married & deep down they will not be happy in a dating relationship forever. What do men really get out of marriage? What are they missing out on if they don't get married? It seems like women would be missing out on much more & that's why it's more of a need for them to get married. It's usually the woman who pushes for marriage & usually the man who is happy to keep the relationship the way it is in dating status. It's the best of both worlds for him. The only reason for a man to get married is to make his girlfriend happy since it's been her dream ever since she was 4 years old to have that big wedding. Other than that I can't see any need that men would have for marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
PeachyPink Posted February 20, 2011 Share Posted February 20, 2011 That may be true for some men. However, there are men who seek the same security marriage provides as do women. That's not to say people marry because they are insecure! It is to say the some men do appreciate the security of knowing they have a life partner. Link to post Share on other sites
Hobax Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 I sort of agree Tiger. I dont know what it is. I myself have always liked the idea of marriage. Now that I am married I wonder if it really changes your expectations of the relationship. It could be for good, but I think it puts alot of stress on both people. For me the first 3 years together were great. Sure we had our issues but it was so much better. We were happier much more. Now that we are married for almost a year it seems like there are much more problems that didnt exist when we were dating(but completely committed to each other). I dont feel that I act any differently. Its more of that she does. It could just be my perception but thats just how I feel. Link to post Share on other sites
waynebrady Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 Who does the proposing? I rest my case. Men want marriage alot more than women. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 Who does the proposing? Exactly what I thought. There's certainly nobody holding a gun to my fiance's head, he asked me. Which we were both equally thrilled about. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 I think that women have more of a need for marriage than men do. I'm not sure I agree with this; in my experience I see many men "submerge" themselves more thoroughly into marriage than their wives, perhaps to an unhealthy extent. I think that's why we see older, divorced men leading generally shorter, unhealthier and unhappier lives than their female counterparts. What I DO see is a significant subset of younger women who seem much more enamored of the idea of weddings as opposed to the idea of marriages. I blame Disney ... Link to post Share on other sites
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 I disagree, and here's why. Men on one hand are more promiscuous. On the other, we all seem to want a good woman, just one for all eternity, and we desire the same things that a woman might want (marriage, kids, settling down after sowing our wild oats.) Even a party animal has to grow up sometime, or they'll fade out. I don't believe women have more need for marriage than men. Link to post Share on other sites
StoneCold Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 It appeases the female mandate more than the male's Link to post Share on other sites
StoneCold Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 Who does the proposing? I rest my case. Men want marriage alot more than women. Thats because society, family and environment pound it into men's heads that this is what we HAVE to do...so we do it Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 The single commonality I've experienced, having been married and listening to women for decades, is pretty simple. 'Safety and security' I will say, with women becoming increasingly financially and socially independent, I don't hear it as much anymore and, indeed, there are many women in my age group who are proactively choosing to remain unmarried, much as my mother did after my father died. She had plenty of opportunities, but chose to remain unmarried until her death, being married only once. Link to post Share on other sites
prettylady01 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I used to think the same thing, being a woman you grow up dreaming of your wedding day. Now that I am married I find that the piece of paper really doesnt mean anything. Marriage gives a false sense of security and if you are using marriage as your sense of security then your probably not in any place to be married. I think the best way to be in a relationship is to just be committed to each other without the piece of paper that allows the government to tell you what you can and can not do as committed adults. If you can stay together for years and years with no "security" other then your word to each other, that is a successful relationship to me. My husband and I are more in love then ever and even talking about getting "divorced" haha Sorry but the government shouldn't have any say in who I am with and what we do. It is really none of their business Link to post Share on other sites
Woman In Blue Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Well, it's been my experience that the man gets a hell of alot more out of it than the woman. Most women work a full time job but are usually also saddled with the brunt of the housework, the laundry, the cooking, the food shopping, raising the kids, and every other household chore you can think of. Oh boy, where do I sign up for that? In my opinion, I gain NOTHING from marriage but a life of servitude to a man. I think when a man marries, he's just looking for another mommy to take care of him. If I ever marry again (and I've got friends who have already agreed to take me behind the barn and SHOOT me if I even THINK about doing it) then I want a WIFE next time. I'd love to see what it's like to have someone ELSE do all the work. Link to post Share on other sites
J200 Posted February 26, 2011 Share Posted February 26, 2011 Not all women want to get married; I have never dreamed of a wedding and I think they are corny utter bull**** nonsense. Never wanted kids either. I am actually ok with not even having a relationship and living alone forever, let alone married. WomanInBlue, not all women cook and clean etc. I would never get married but if I did I would NEVER do more than half of the housework. I am not domestic; I can barely clean up after myself. I would never ever cook and clean for a man when I'm bringing in half the money. F that. I am not motherly (taking care of the man etc) and all that nonsense. It he doesn't want to clean his part that's fine; I have no problem living in a pig sty. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted February 26, 2011 Share Posted February 26, 2011 I'm female and I don't want marriage, never have, never will, but I have wanted, and do want, a long term loving r/ship, to have companionship with someone I love, to share cuddles, sex, intimacy, to share our thoughts, to be there for each other, to do things we enjoy together, to feel part of each other's life in a way you can't share in the same way with anyone else. I already have friends and work I enjoy, my partner brings extra joy Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted February 26, 2011 Share Posted February 26, 2011 Marriage really is nothing more than a ceremony than to tell everybody else that they can't have your partner. Even then that doesn't stop everybody. I agree with what prettylady01 said about it just being a piece of paper. I don't see a wife as anything more than a live-in girlfriend and both of the partners are committed to each other. An even better idea is to have two live-in girlfriends! That way everybody can take turn with cleaning, cooking and sex In order for it to work, each person would need their own room. Of course my room would be the central play room. Cause I would have a PS3 in it Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 That "piece of paper" has allowed women to improve their lifestyle and heaven forbid a divorce eminates, they get half of everything their spouse worked for. I mean no disrespect to the loving marriages I have read of here on the forums. Mostly though when it comes down to it, the govt does delegate much in the way of alimony , child support and who gets the others retirement funds. I stave off marriage and I am a lady who DOES beleive in love and commitment. My son married and he reminds me that some guys really are great spouses . I respect and admire that type of marriage. yet soo few folks have a complimentary marriage. Overall I see a level of evenness on the marital front for both genders. Neither having the overwhleming desire for marriage and entirely okay with being committed. If a lady is being pushy towards it, chances are a checkbook is involved. At least that is what i have found from the years here on this earth...ANy of the girls from my generation that are married even joke about how they want a sugar daddy if they would marry again. I assure you its sad, yet a reality .... Link to post Share on other sites
J200 Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 That "piece of paper" has allowed women to improve their lifestyle and heaven forbid a divorce eminates, they get half of everything their spouse worked for. I mean no disrespect to the loving marriages I have read of here on the forums. Mostly though when it comes down to it, the govt does delegate much in the way of alimony , child support and who gets the others retirement funds. Huh? I used to make more than 5x what my ex bf made; I was always the breadwinner with the past exes. In many cases today women earn much more than the guy and it's the guy who is improving his lifestyle and getting half. Link to post Share on other sites
Lipsy10 Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 Its a myth that all men or even the majority of men don't want to get married. Or indeed that all women/majority of women want to get married. I know plenty of women who have never once imagined their wedding. If they find the right guy then marriage is an option but their main goal in life is not to get married!! I also know alot of guys who proposed to their wives/future wives because they wanted to get married with all their hearts. Marriage is not just a pieace of paper its a union between two people who love each other and are commited to building a life together. Sure you can do that with out getting married - and all power to you. But some people like what marriage represents and theres nothing wrong with that. Reading some of these posts I have to say there is alot of bitter, jaded people on LS. On a side note I would also like to point out that the relationship between a married couple is respected (in general) alot more than the relationship betweeen a boyfriend/girlfriend. I know dozens of girls/guy who would have no problem hooking up with a girl/guy who is in a long term relationship but would run a mile from a married man/women. WHY? Because a girlfriend/boyfriend is just one of many but a wife/husband, well thats another level of commitment that most people would not wanna mess with. (again in general, I know some people dont care either way). Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 (edited) LOL - that "piece of paper" is what put women centuries behind in the first place. Had that "piece of paper" never been the end-all goal for women way back when, they would have been motivated (self-motivated even) much differently. Edited March 2, 2011 by SincereOnlineGuy Link to post Share on other sites
Woman In Blue Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 That "piece of paper" has allowed women to improve their lifestyle and heaven forbid a divorce eminates, they get half of everything their spouse worked for. Are you aware that there are more WOMEN graduating from college nowadays than there are MEN? It's not that commonplace anymore for a jobless, dependant woman to have to depend on a man to support her. In all likelihood, in today's day and age, a woman is making almost as much as her husband, if not possibly more. The tables have turned and women are financially independent. It appears they don't nearly have the need to marry that they once did. There's really no benefit to them at ALL to do so, now, because they're still going to be doing most of the work. Who needs it? Link to post Share on other sites
BlueRidgeMTs Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Exactly what I thought. There's certainly nobody holding a gun to my fiance's head, he asked me. . I agree. My boyfriend asked me to marry him even WHEN I TOLD HIM i think we should take more time to grow together before we get engaged. Link to post Share on other sites
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