PeachyPink Posted February 20, 2011 Share Posted February 20, 2011 (edited) Hi, I was listening to a radio talk show the other day. The speaker commented that the reason people get married is because they want to please the other person and make them happy. She didn't mean please them by getting married, she meant please them throughout their lifetime together. I thought that was a very interesting comment, because I think many people get married for the opposite reason: they want the other person to please them throughout their lifetime together. I think if more people ask themselves what they could do to make their partner happy, instead of what could their partner do to make them happy, there would be happier marriages. I just thought I would offer that to the community and get your thoughts. Edited February 20, 2011 by PeachyPink Left out a word Link to post Share on other sites
GoodOnPaper Posted February 20, 2011 Share Posted February 20, 2011 I think if more people ask themselves what they could do to make their partner happy, instead of what could their partner do to make them happy, there would be happier marriages. You're absolutely right, but getting burned a few times can really sap one's enthusiasm for taking this approach. Not to mention that successfully navigating the attraction and committed relationship phases require completely different skill sets and it only takes being bad at one to mess up the outlook on the whole LTR. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 I think if more people ask themselves what they could do to make their partner happy, instead of what could their partner do to make them happy, there would be happier marriages. In a very close, loving relationship, there is a lot of overlap between what makes my spouse happy and what make me happy. When I feel good about the relationship in general, it is extremely rewarding to see him happy, kwim? This is not so different from my experience as a parent. It makes me happy to see my children happy. Not happy for the moment (giving them their way so they will stop whining and crying, for example), but happy in a bigger sense. Small personal sacrifice is well worth the investment in their longterm happiness. The same is often true in our marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PeachyPink Posted February 21, 2011 Author Share Posted February 21, 2011 In a very close, loving relationship, there is a lot of overlap between what makes my spouse happy and what make me happy. When I feel good about the relationship in general, it is extremely rewarding to see him happy, kwim? This is not so different from my experience as a parent. It makes me happy to see my children happy. Not happy for the moment (giving them their way so they will stop whining and crying, for example), but happy in a bigger sense. Small personal sacrifice is well worth the investment in their longterm happiness. The same is often true in our marriage.I agree completely. Thank you for responding. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 We got M because we wanted to be together. It makes both of us happy. Neither of us conceived of it as something to do for the other, or for ourself. We saw it as something we would do for us. Link to post Share on other sites
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