Livelovelearn Posted February 20, 2011 Share Posted February 20, 2011 Hello everyone, I met someone and we have been contacting eachother everyday through text and few calls for a month, recently i have decided to sleep with him because he seemed genuine in the words that he was saying. He is really attractive and gives me feelings that i have never felt before. Now we both talked about a relationship but we said right now we werent looking for a partner but both said to eachother that we both have potential for that. Now that i slept with him i keep wondering how much other girls he is talking to, he told me that isnt sleeping with anyone else though. I really like him but ive been hurt before and because he is extremely sexy i feel he might be a player. My question is even if he is still talking to other girls, what are some things that a girl can do to make the top of his list. Im sure when people date they have options but what makes one come out at the top? Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted February 20, 2011 Share Posted February 20, 2011 When a guy tells you he's not interested in having a relationship, believe him. Most often, it's true. So now, you're setting yourself up for a slippery slope. The most effective way to date is to be yourself and not try to prove yourself worth dating to anyone else. Once you do this kind of pretzeling to appeal, you've lost what matters and that's the happiness of being true to your inner self. Cognitive dissonance is not the way to live. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Livelovelearn Posted March 3, 2011 Author Share Posted March 3, 2011 Thank you both threebyfate and lovelace. I like what you both have said. Its true in the time after i have wrote this message I have just been myself with him. He does seem to like me as i spent some time at his place yesterday. We have more of a friend bond and i dont know if id want a relationship with him. But im just going to enjoy our time together and take it for what it is. I have also decided that if we dont progress into a relationship that it wouldnt be bad because i have met a good guy who i enjoy spending time with and even the physical aspect is great as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Dazdnconfuzed Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 Next time you sleep with him, have a sandwich prepared for him for afterwards and vacuum while he is eating it... TOP CHOICE. Link to post Share on other sites
ljpaterson Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 Next time you sleep with him, have a sandwich prepared for him for afterwards and vacuum while he is eating it... TOP CHOICE. LOL!!! Oh god you have just made my day. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 I would think it would start with not sleeping with them and making them think you're easy. Most guys chase a girl because they want to get in their pants, there's no challenge if there isn't a prize. Next time he wants another happy hour, politely decline him. Let's see what he'll think about you after you assert yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Livelovelearn Posted March 14, 2011 Author Share Posted March 14, 2011 I have declined and i did not give it up to him right away even though i could have waited out a little longer, we had sex a lil over a month after talking. And he does express more that he does like me but i dont really express myself emotionally. So he sometimes asks how i feel and i just tell him i like him. I am not worried about him. I figured whatever happens, will happen. I also discovered that i am not ready for anything serious but if it happens and i develop stronger feelings i will try it out, if not then oh well. One thing i learned from my first relationship is to never beg for someone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Livelovelearn Posted March 14, 2011 Author Share Posted March 14, 2011 Thanks all for the responses anyways Link to post Share on other sites
brebre Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 Hmmm, I'm afraid that you are running a race that has already been "fixed". You should never have to feel you are competing with other women. I will suggest if he is the type of guy that all the ladies are lovin', you should do what they are not doing, chasing him. Stop initiating the calls, no more texting, and giving him all the detils about your day. I have a feeling this guy already knows whose he will be with, but he is sitting back getting fed grapes and fanned by all the women he has somehow given subliminal messages that they have to compete for him. He sounds awful. sorry, JMHO. I hope I didnt upset you. You are worth sooooo much more! He should be asking what he needs to do for YOU to chose him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Livelovelearn Posted March 30, 2011 Author Share Posted March 30, 2011 gang, what do u mean by he has reserves? Link to post Share on other sites
orangelady Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 When a guy tells you he's not interested in having a relationship, believe him. Most often, it's true. So now, you're setting yourself up for a slippery slope. The most effective way to date is to be yourself and not try to prove yourself worth dating to anyone else. Once you do this kind of pretzeling to appeal, you've lost what matters and that's the happiness of being true to your inner self. Cognitive dissonance is not the way to live. I agree wholeheartedly. Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoneSock Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 (edited) A balance between being (not just playing) hard to get, but also being attentive enough to keep him interested, patience, and not caring too much about the outcome is key any time you want a guy to get and stay interested in you. I have dated girls who never call or text or initiate contact, and I lost interest in them quick. I have also dated girls who always called and initiated contact, and I lost interest just as fast. Consistency, confidence, and fairness are all required when dating someone - and it's true for both sexes. Edit: did I just bump a dead thread? Edited April 2, 2011 by TheLoneSock Link to post Share on other sites
Author Livelovelearn Posted April 28, 2011 Author Share Posted April 28, 2011 thanks thelonesock! thats wonderful advice and im here to revive the convo lol however, the guy in discussion is mad at me and ignoring me , he said he needs to not talk to me for a bit because i have some insecurities and i kept asking him about his statuses and whether it was regarding another female. he said that he doesnt do anything behind my back but he feels im always thinking that he does which isnt true i just have my moments. I really liked him alot but now he hasnt talked to me....its only been the first day since our discussion i messaged him saying that if he would like to be friends and keep it strictly platonic i will do so, (we werent really together, but we had something going on) but he hasnt respond i guess all i can do is give him space and deal with my insecurities that seems to drive men away Link to post Share on other sites
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