Information about surveillance and stalking

[Heather1]

Any female employee's @ the club? They might want him D.

[spice4life]

Any female employee's @ the club? They might want him D.

 

After reading leto's and luckyone's post I thought the same thing. It sounds a lot more plausable then the odd guy and this started happening right around the time she began coming to his club. It can also explain, Mrs Jones, why your husband is not so quick to stop you from thinking it's the odd guy. As long as you are thinking it's that guy you are not focused on what he's doing. This happens A LOT in A's. The BS is off track about the situation and the WS encourages it because it keeps off the right track. Something to think about Mrs Jones. (Now I've got that song in my head...lol!)

 

I'm not trying to make light of your situation but this starting to play out like a game of Clue...lol! What a caper. Maybe you should install the cell phone tracking software on your H's phone. Just kidding! or maybe I shouldn't be kidding? :|

[Star_Bright]

Believe it or not, we never texted each other. We thought it too dangerous. We did email each other quite often through an email client that had encryption capabilities.

 

I do not think there was another woman, though I might ask him this the next time I hear from him, as it could be a possibility.

 

Okay to me it seems your exMM has done this before. He knew not to text and to use an email client that had encryption capabilities?? This is not normal from what I've read on here (or from my previous experience of being an OW). Affairs tend to be caught-up-in-the-moment type things, with the parties being anxious to talk to each other whenever possible, and leaving evidence without thinking about it. If it was his idea AT ALL to not text/ use this weird email thing, then I think it's obvious he's done this before and is being very planned and calculated about it. So either his wife is as technologically savvy as he is and is messing with him, or another OW found out about past/current OWs and is really upset. Or it could even be HIM... it sounds like he knows about technology and snooping and maybe he wants to break up your marriage or get revenge or is just plain wacky?

 

Wow, just stay away from him... it sounds like whoever it is is only doing this to you when you meet up with him. So, if you don't meet up with him, they should stop, I would assume/hope. Good luck, it sounds like a crazy sitch for sure.

[Untouchable_Fire]

It disturbs me when police don't acknowledge something so disturbing and potentially dangerous. No one knows the limits of what this moron will do. It should be investigated and the criminal should be identified.

I noticed others have addressed most areas of concern, except for the most simple - paying attention to being followed. This is very simple and requires no technology. It's also something anyone should be aware of not matter what they are doing or what their situation is. Some criminals will follow you with bad intent - even if you're not famous or rich.

 

Police shouldn't waste their time with crap like this!!! They should spend their time looking out for decent people.

 

It's like someone kicking the schoolyard bully. Yes... it was an act of violence, but I'm not going to prosecute because with my fully functioning brain I realize that it was well deserved and that it may save people from the bullies violent acts down the road.

 

As a jury member, I would LAUGH and then be PISSED if someone tried to put this in front of me. Unless they could prove a long term and consistent issue with stalking.

[Bionic Me]

Nice! Why dont you all go to Maury Povich and tell your story.

[jthorne]

Nice! Why dont you all go to Maury Povich and tell your story.

You know, going public might not be a bad idea.

[SoMovinOn]

Police shouldn't waste their time with crap like this!!! They should spend their time looking out for decent people.

 

I suppose you have a point. Just like cops wasting their time investigating rapes when the chick was a slutty, short skirt wearing, whore just begging for it... or some Mercedes driving, Armani suit wearing prick waving his money around gets robbed. Some people just deserve to be victims.

 

Thankfully there are pompous asses who remind us of that once in a while.

[Mrs. Jones]

I’m going to try and answer some of the thoughts here…

 

First, although its plausible my husband could be having an affair and OW is trying to get me out of the picture, I do not think this is happening.

 

The reason I think it’s the random guy is:

 

a)It all started a month after I met him. During this month, I would talk to him a couple of times when I would see him. Plus, his wife left with an OM, which was stated in one of the letters. He has been harmed by the behavior I was exhibiting. Also, he works for a transportation company and probably has access to info the average person does not. I don’t know.

 

b) When the notes started to appear, I noticed he avoided talking to me and when I was near him he’d turn away. He does not even say hi to me even though we have had conversation in the past. Does not engage my in conversation even though the guys he is with do talk with me.

 

c) I see him watching me when he thinks I do not notice this. Creepy.

 

I do not think it’s the xMM or anyone on his side because it started with me long before it directly involved him. Someone wanted me to stop, not the xMM. Otherwise I would think everyone would be getting the same info at the same time. The fact that my husband has less info tells me his “friend” does not want him hurt but aware, and wanted to hurt the xMM. He was protecting my husband’s feelings. I think Star Brite is correct saying if I stayed away the notes would have stopped. Probably so.

 

In the very beginning of my R with xMM we did text, but then stopped when my husband noticed me texting…a lot. So in order to remain under the radar I was the one who found the email client with the encryption capabilities. I have more technical experience than my xMM does, and his wife has none what so ever. So no, all of the caution started with me.

 

Really, I think OWL was right. I think my husband does have an idea who it is, finds him non-threatening, and thinks this person is keeping me out of trouble.

 

I appreciate all of your ideas as to who this could be, as it has given me some new perspective on the “who.” But, why I really came here was to find out how do I know if someone is watching me and what clues I might be looking for to know if I am being followed…either through technology avenues or just plain stalking.

[Mrs. Jones]

I suppose you have a point. Just like cops wasting their time investigating rapes when the chick was a slutty, short skirt wearing, whore just begging for it... or some Mercedes driving, Armani suit wearing prick waving his money around gets robbed. Some people just deserve to be victims.

 

Thankfully there are pompous asses who remind us of that once in a while.

 

 

I live in a small town...it would've given them something to do besides eating donuts.

[Mrs. Jones]

Police shouldn't waste their time with crap like this!!! They should spend their time looking out for decent people.

 

It's like someone kicking the schoolyard bully. Yes... it was an act of violence, but I'm not going to prosecute because with my fully functioning brain I realize that it was well deserved and that it may save people from the bullies violent acts down the road.

 

As a jury member, I would LAUGH and then be PISSED if someone tried to put this in front of me. Unless they could prove a long term and consistent issue with stalking.

 

Stalking is disturbing and could become violent. It is one thing to call an unsavory act to the table for all to see, and possibly be punished for it, but entirely another to follow someone day in and day out when the circumstance has nothing to do with them.

 

If this became violent, you can bet your a$$ a jury would be involved.

 

If it were a PI, and I found out my husband or his wife hired them, I could live with that. But this is some random person that has no business following me around. What my husband and I do is not the business of some random person. Maybe we had and open marriage? This person would not know that, but continued to follow and harrass. They need to get a life.

[Mrs. Jones]

After reading leto's and luckyone's post I thought the same thing. It sounds a lot more plausable then the odd guy and this started happening right around the time she began coming to his club. It can also explain, Mrs Jones, why your husband is not so quick to stop you from thinking it's the odd guy. As long as you are thinking it's that guy you are not focused on what he's doing. This happens A LOT in A's. The BS is off track about the situation and the WS encourages it because it keeps off the right track. Something to think about Mrs Jones. (Now I've got that song in my head...lol!)

 

I'm not trying to make light of your situation but this starting to play out like a game of Clue...lol! What a caper. Maybe you should install the cell phone tracking software on your H's phone. Just kidding! or maybe I shouldn't be kidding? :|

 

I'm still not certian my H is having an A. Though I did just try to call him (he's at the club) and he did not answer his phone. LOL!!

 

It is a mystery and one I hope to solve some day. To be honest, I don't think too much about the who, but I do want to know the how.

 

So Spice, I did not have a smart phone while this whole thing was going on, so had no GPS, correct? Is there another way my phone could have been used if it was just a basic cell phone? I just recently got a smart phone 3 weeks ago.

 

Yes, love that song...hence my moniker. Plus, I'm sure that was how we were discovered...the same place, at the same time...

[Untouchable_Fire]

I suppose you have a point. Just like cops wasting their time investigating rapes when the chick was a slutty, short skirt wearing, whore just begging for it... or some Mercedes driving, Armani suit wearing prick waving his money around gets robbed. Some people just deserve to be victims.

Thankfully there are pompous asses who remind us of that once in a while.

 

Short skirts and waving money never hurt anyone. Cheating is emotionally abusive.

 

The only thing this person did to MJ is invade her privacy for a short time. Normally I'd be totally against that, however MJ was using that privacy to cause pain for other people.

 

I like how you take examples that don't fit the situation and apply them as if they do. Maybe next time you can compare our stalker to Hitler or something equally ridiculous. Who is the pompous ass again?

 

Stalking is disturbing and could become violent. It is one thing to call an unsavory act to the table for all to see, and possibly be punished for it, but entirely another to follow someone day in and day out when the circumstance has nothing to do with them.

If this became violent, you can bet your a$$ a jury would be involved.

If it were a PI, and I found out my husband or his wife hired them, I could live with that. But this is some random person that has no business following me around. What my husband and I do is not the business of some random person. Maybe we had and open marriage? This person would not know that, but continued to follow and harrass. They need to get a life.

 

99% chance this won't become violent unless you hit somebody.

 

IF this person wanted violence it would likely have already occurred. The kind of stalker your trying to allude to is the obsessive type whose grip on reality has totally failed. No matter how high your opinion of yourself may be... it doesn't make you a celebrity for someone to obsess on in that way.

 

Most likely this is another woman your OM was sleeping with or someone who just thinks you are crap. This person clearly KNOWS you. Stop trying to blame strangers first and start looking at people near you with actual motive.

 

I think you should stop freaking out about who ratted you out anyway... and start focusing on the situation at hand... resolving your marriage issues?

[spice4life]

I'm still not certian my H is having an A. Though I did just try to call him (he's at the club) and he did not answer his phone. LOL!!

 

It is a mystery and one I hope to solve some day. To be honest, I don't think too much about the who, but I do want to know the how.

 

So Spice, I did not have a smart phone while this whole thing was going on, so had no GPS, correct? Is there another way my phone could have been used if it was just a basic cell phone? I just recently got a smart phone 3 weeks ago.

 

Yes, love that song...hence my moniker. Plus, I'm sure that was how we were discovered...the same place, at the same time...

 

Yes, it can happen without a smart phone. When it happened to me, I didn't have a smart phone..just had a regular cell. Did your phone do anything weird like automatically reboot itself the same time every day? It's possible that the spyware was used in conjunction with the following.

 

Now that you explained how the other guy started acting around you it is possible it's him. I do know how you feel because something similar happened to me and it was very disconcerting. I felt like my every move was being watched and that is how I figured out that it was my cell. I STILL get uncomfortable sometimes because I think that it traumatized me. It violated my privacy and I sometimes feel that my privacy was taken away from me. It can be very disconcerting sometimes.

[Heather1]

Totally not true that if violence were to happen, it would have by now.

 

I agree that the creepy guy seems most likely. He must be totally obsessed w/ you to put this much effort into it, which is even creepier & I'd be a little scared since he's continuing, the sooner you find out the better!

 

I was thinking about your H reaction too. Guys don't see things happening, or maybe the severity, until after the fact. I think women have better instincts about his since we do deal w/ this from time to time & know who to avoid. That's probably why your instincts are telling you it's this guy. The only reason I think it could be your H OW (or someone who wants to be) is because women are ruthless!!

[Carrot2000]

Mrs. Jones, do you know where creepy guy lives? The next time you're out, drive by his house. If he's following you, it'll shock the $hit out of him!

[Mrs. Jones]

Mrs. Jones, do you know where creepy guy lives? The next time you're out, drive by his house. If he's following you, it'll shock the $hit out of him!

 

 

Yes, I do. I see his house every morning and every evening when I make the turn to head up the hill to my house. His daughter's car is usually in the driveway. I rarely see his...it could either be in the gargage, at the clubhouse...or following me???

[Mrs. Jones]

Totally not true that if violence were to happen, it would have by now.

 

I agree that the creepy guy seems most likely. He must be totally obsessed w/ you to put this much effort into it, which is even creepier & I'd be a little scared since he's continuing, the sooner you find out the better!

 

I was thinking about your H reaction too. Guys don't see things happening, or maybe the severity, until after the fact. I think women have better instincts about his since we do deal w/ this from time to time & know who to avoid. That's probably why your instincts are telling you it's this guy. The only reason I think it could be your H OW (or someone who wants to be) is because women are ruthless!!

 

What I think may have happened is that since I was nice and paid attention to him, which most of the wives at the club do not do, he may have had a crush/infatuation. Not sure, but possible.

 

Maybe he did follow be somewhere one day and saw that I had a friend???

 

Since it happened with him, he may have the means and connections to do this with me. If he hired someone to watch his wife, he knows what to do and could be doing that himself with me. Again...all speculation, but possible. All I know is that he is not the same around me.

[Mrs. Jones]

what do you think about wiki-leaks ....is it good or bad???

 

 

i think it's your H/or his W, if it is him/her....s/he is doing good so far.....otherwise who would give a flying f*** what you are doing or not..............

 

 

coming to the question: install a anti virus(which can detect spy wares ,go for better/latest version) on your system

 

if there is any spyware on your phone(like flexispy ) which will provide the suspect's location only when he/she engages suspect in a conversation

 

if so, find out the numbers in those 30 mins....(Btw,not all phones support flexispy) just reinstall your operating system it will do fine.....

 

 

i think it's your H(if you don't think it's his style....even he would have thought the same abt you)....if somebody says my gf cheating on me....i will not share that info with my gf until i confirm it by myself.....

 

anyways why are you worrying about xmm....i think you both deserve whatever you get....

 

 

The info was confirmed in the first letter 5 months ago. If it were a professional, it would have ended then with just the one letter as evidence. This is like revenge behavoir. Anyway, if I can found out how this is being done, I will know who might be doing it.

 

I worry about xMM because this was all mutual and I care about him.

 

Despite how you feel about this...Thank you for your time and technical expertise. I will look into the above.