pinklove Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 Yeah, I was referring to people that's doing online dirt can end up meeting up together face to face to have sex and contract AIDS. I'm no dummy I know that people can't get AIDS by just talking or masturbating online. But, million of people meet up face to face everyday after having an online encounter. I know his issue is his infedilty, but just as well so is his sexual orientation, because he is misleading innocent people. (Example:) Already posting a profile on an online dating service to meet another girl. That's misleading, he needs to be upfront with these people that he goes both ways so they know what they are getting themselves into, that's why so many people ARE ending up with the transmission of AIDS and other STD's because so many people are not being upfront about who they are, and I'm not taking it back. I am not getting off the subject and I agree with the rest of yall that his infidelity was wrong as well, so don't misunderstand me, instead of trying to judge or criticize me, just ask me what's my point, so I can explain it to u. That's simple. It's nothing to get frustrated about, because after all, not4me did what was best for her and I'm pretty sure it's not just dealing with the fact of his infidelity, but everything he did to her and that was my point to her. No hard feelings though, because my opinion is my opinion and no one will ever change that. Link to post Share on other sites
pinklove Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 And if u look at it, posting profiles to meet other girls and this person is bi-sexual or gives out bi-sexual hints about himself, does someway fit under infidelity, because suppose he meets some other girl (she's not unaware of his sexual habits or preference just as not4me was.) and she too discover the horrible thing that he done as well, so it's an issue, because he refuses to be straight up honest to straight girls, who don't deserve to be under the influence of his possible sexuality. I would be horrified to discover a man that I had been dating was having sex online or in person with another man, how sick Of course it would be sick by me finding out about all this and it would also be an issue of why he couldn't be upfront with me from the start about his preference. So that was my point. Take it or leave it. She asked for my advice and I gave her some, everybody on here have their own opinion about the topics discussed on here, and I will not criticize anyone for what they think or feel, because after all this is what this site is for am I right??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Not4me Posted April 20, 2004 Author Share Posted April 20, 2004 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Not4me Posted April 20, 2004 Author Share Posted April 20, 2004 Screw him! : ) I'm so much better now than I was. Thanks to all those who answered my questions. There are no wrong answers. Life is gooooood. Link to post Share on other sites
pinklove Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 For Show!!! Link to post Share on other sites
veloria Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 I know this response to this thread is a bit belated, but I just stumbled upon it...strangely enough, by doing a google search about this very topic. I am so shocked to find someone is has had a similar problem. Not4Me: I know precisely how you have been feeling (for the most part). Here's my deal (I'm currently enmeshed in a similar scenario): Boyfriend of 2 years. Many problems...oh, the problems. But we've stuck it out. He likes to chat. I don't think he "cybers," so to speak, but I know he engages in flirty chat etc. First, it was with women...didn't tell them he had a girlfriend etc. Then, I found a pic of a naked guy that he had received. Er... He said that he wanted to "see if the guy would have sex with you"...weird. and i didn't believe him then. but, i let it go because it was all so incredibly strange. I was already upset about his never-ending porn habit etc. and online chatting with women; it wasn't getting better. Time lapse: A year later (NOW). Over the past few months, he has been checking out a lot of gay porn, shemale porn etc. Yes, we talked. And yes, he said he's bi-curious. Ok, that's fine...I am admittedly so as well. Things seem to be escalating. This morning, I found out that he has been sending pics of himself with his wanker out (pics that I took...yes, we have taken sexy pics of each other with a digital cam...) to both men and women. He is not working, is up all night on the computer alternating between video games and porn and chatting. He does the same all day when I'm gone. He doesn't sleep much. I am kinda at my wit's end with all of this. He has a yahoo list of MANY people, all of whom are people he has met in yahoo (sex) chat rooms...both men and women. The list continues to grow; it has been for the duration of our relationship. I feel very very turned off by all of this. I don't care if he looks at porn. I have always told him this. But, it has turned into folders and folders of those 10 second video clip things of all sorts of stuff--there is a lot there. He obviously has invested a lot of time into collecting all of this. As soon as I am out of the picture (asleep, gone for the day etc), he's on here doing his thing. I love him immensely, but, I feel our ideas of fidelity differ very much. He really thinks he is doing nothing wrong, and, moreover, has been getting mad at me for not having sex with him/pushing him away when he starts to get lovey with me. Our sex life, in my opinion, is fine (always good, and regular--every other day usually, or maybe every 2 days, but sometimes everyday...) I guess I just wanted to vent a little and tell Not4Me that she's definitely NOT alone in this. My question is: Should I bother with this relationship? Can differing views of fidelity come to terms for a lasting relationship? He isn't going to stop this behaviour, is he? It seems that the behaviour has escalated a bit (he was never sending people pics of himself like this before, and, I also recently discovered that he has been searching for yahoo webcam live video capture programs...hmmm...) I fear that the behaviour will escalate further... Is this just fantasy? Just a way for him to explore his bisexuality in a "non-cheating", safe (anonymous) manner? I know he has lied to women in the past about his relationship status with me; I figure he is still doing so. Help, if you have any advice here. We talked about things today, but, my guts still feel uneasy and I really feel like I'm compromising an awful lot of myself...which is never right. Maybe this is all just harmless fantasy stuff and I'm over-reacting? I'm pretty open-minded, and I hate for my relationship to dissolve because of this stupid stuff. I am not worried that he'd cheat on me in physical life...and he says that the online stuff has nothing to do with me. He says I satisfy him. I just don't know what to think about all of this anymore. Sometimes I wish we didn't have this computer. Thanks for reading this. Sorry it was long. Link to post Share on other sites
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