Author White Flower Posted March 6, 2011 Author Share Posted March 6, 2011 I guess I was, in part, inspired by the BW - I saw the way she treated her H, her kids and others around her, and that inspired me NEVER to treat anyone that way! And to provide a stable, happy home for her kids so that they had at least one home where they could feel safe and loved. If she'd been less extreme, I would probably not have felt as strongly about it as I did that I needed to make things "normal" for them so that they could do the things other teens did, like have friends over, or go out together as a family without worrying what might happen, or just be kids! It also inspired me to be conscious of treating my H with the respect he deserves, not to take him for granted and to cherish and value our M, every day. I've seen how badly things can go wrong in M, and I've seen the kind of behaviours that foster that, and I know not to go anywhere near that road because I know where it leads! Great post Owoman! Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Encouraging someone who is in a destructive A, is Not doing them a favor. A boastful person in or out of the A, (that hurts many) is not digestable. Some As are Destructive, others are very Productive. If an A is playing a productive, Life-enhancing role in someone's life, allowing them to self-actualise in a way they did not think possible Before, who Is anyone else To decide that the A is destructive? "Destructive" means something that destroys and causes destruction; so As that build and enhance and cause delight and joy are constructive rather than destructive. If someone is in a constructive A, why should someone else not encourage them? (And I don't think anyone is endorsing cannibalism here, so there's no need for concern over anyone's digestion... ) Link to post Share on other sites
Author White Flower Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 Excellent point Owoman. In the end I would surmise that it IS possible for the OW to inspire the W and visa versa. I think the former happens more often than the latter, based on LS self-proclaimed stats that MM rarely leave for OW, because if the stats are true it is the MC who then live with the lessons learned. Well, one would hope anyway. One can't really learn without having an open mind. And we can't really be inspired unless we are open to it. Thanks for partaking in an interesting discussion. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 Whether or not someone goes into an A with a MM out of desparation -perhaps is on an individual basis. But most definitely the A itself produces a desparation with the OW, while in it. While that may be the case for some OWs or OMs, it is certainly not the case for all. The only desperation in any of my As was in my last one, and that was the desperation of the then-MM to escape from his then-W! Link to post Share on other sites
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