Avaa Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 I had rejected him last year in Dec(NOT in a rude or mean way, and we never went out or anything). It's Feb. I've noticed off and on he would either be HOSTILE OR nice. Recently, he told me he had a crush on another girl (I wouldn't doubt it because HE IS attracted to her) and asked if I was okay with it. But asking me for permission? weird much. I said it would be fine. Two days later he ignored me and started acting hostile. And when I tried to talk to him he would say things like "What do you want from me?Are you trying to get on my nerves? what are you trying to get at?" I wouldn't mind being friends with him but it seems like it's difficult for him. Why can't we just have a normal friendship? Just because I don't see him in a romantic way doesn't mean I don't see him as a human being anymore. I still care. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 Your question is redundant. Nobody can stay friends with someone they like. That's ego bruising and completely disrespectful of the person who got rejected. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Avaa Posted February 21, 2011 Author Share Posted February 21, 2011 Your question is redundant. Nobody can stay friends with someone they like. That's ego bruising and completely disrespectful of the person who got rejected. How is it disrespectful? I think it would be disrespectful if I decided to tell him about guys who I am seeing or who I find attractive etc., I have/know my boundaries to not say that around him. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 How is it disrespectful? I think it would be disrespectful if I decided to tell him about guys who I am seeing or who I find attractive etc., I have/know my boundaries to not say that around him. You may have good intentions to stay friends with him but his behaviour has already said he doesn't really want to value you as a friend. There are some people who you really can't be friends with, and he's a perfect example of that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Avaa Posted February 21, 2011 Author Share Posted February 21, 2011 *Sighs* So I am assuming he might be one of those guys with the mentality of "girlfriend or nothing." I guess I can understand why he wouldn't befriend me. I am trying to put myself in his shoes so I'am assuming it's probably painful being "just friends" when it could have been something more with the girl whom you had taken such a liking for. He probably can't be friends with me without having any feelings until he has an actual girlfriend. BUT, I feel like if he thinks I can't accept him as a boyfriend then then he might be taking this too personally. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 I had rejected him last year in Dec He wasn't and isn't looking for friendship, he wanted more, you shot him down and in his own way, he's showing you that no friendship can happen. Why do you want him as a friend? What does he bring into your life? Put yourself in his shoes, you ask a guy out, he says no. You hurt. Yet he tries to be your friend. How would you feel? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Avaa Posted February 21, 2011 Author Share Posted February 21, 2011 He wasn't and isn't looking for friendship, he wanted more, you shot him down and in his own way, he's showing you that no friendship can happen. Why do you want him as a friend? What does he bring into your life? Put yourself in his shoes, you ask a guy out, he says no. You hurt. Yet he tries to be your friend. How would you feel? He never asked me out. He told me he thought I had a crush on him. I said no, I did not. Simple as that. He laughed it off. He never asked me out. But I suppose the friendship part in your post is true. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 He probably can't be friends with me Bingo. Why do you want a guy as a friend that you know likes you in a sexual way? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Avaa Posted February 21, 2011 Author Share Posted February 21, 2011 I wouldn't mind being friends with him because he had good qualities in him and I can go on and on about it. Enough said. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Avaa Posted February 21, 2011 Author Share Posted February 21, 2011 Bingo. Why do you want a guy as a friend that you know likes you in a sexual way? And what makes you so sure it's only in a sexual way and not just in a girlfriend way? Of course, when you want a girlfriend you obviously like them in a sexual way. But just in a sexual way? I don't think so. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 I wouldn't mind being friends with him because he had good qualities in him and I can go on and on about it. Enough said. If he has so many good qualities why can't you see him as a bf? Were you really that close before and now you feel like you really lost someone important to you? Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 And what makes you so sure it's only in a sexual way and not just in a girlfriend way? Of course, when you want a girlfriend you obviously like them in a sexual way. But just in a sexual way? I don't think so. You sound naive. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Avaa Posted February 21, 2011 Author Share Posted February 21, 2011 xpaperxcutx-I don't know about YOU, but I can tell the difference if someone seems me in a lustful way only vs in a girlfriend way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Avaa Posted February 21, 2011 Author Share Posted February 21, 2011 If he has so many good qualities why can't you see him as a bf? Were you really that close before and now you feel like you really lost someone important to you? Somewhat. We used to talk a lot and gotten along really well. Unfortunately, I wasn't ready for dating or anything such as that so I rejected him. I feel really bad since I didn't give him a legit reason. But I feel like it's too late but of course I still remember the good times we shared for the past months. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 Do you think you could like him as a bf? Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 xpaperxcutx-I don't know about YOU, but I can tell the difference if someone seems me in a lustful way only vs in a girlfriend way. No, what I got from your last post was that you think it's not possible for others to feel a certain way when they clearly do. I'm not saying that your friend " lusts" after you, but lust certainly goes hand in hand with wanting someone in a " girlfriend/boyfriend". Link to post Share on other sites
Author Avaa Posted February 21, 2011 Author Share Posted February 21, 2011 Do you think you could like him as a bf? Now? no, it makes me doubt him. I understand him being hostile etc., but it makes me think he's immature at the time same time. When I rejected him it obviously hurt him/made him upset which is why he acts the way he acts. However, if something like this bothers him and makes him act out negatively-then it makes me think in a relationship if I say or do something that he doesn't wanna hear or like to see, then he'll be hostile. So it makes me think he might be immature overall. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 Now? no, it makes me doubt him. I understand him being hostile etc., but it makes me think he's immature at the time same time. When I rejected him it obviously hurt him/made him upset which is why he acts the way he acts. However, if something like this bothers him and makes him act out negatively-then it makes me think in a relationship if I say or do something that he doesn't wanna hear or like to see, then he'll be hostile. So it makes me think he might be immature overall. Then, would he really make that good of a friend if he's immature? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Avaa Posted February 22, 2011 Author Share Posted February 22, 2011 Then, would he really make that good of a friend if he's immature? I just saw him today and he was so hostile and rude that I said screw it. You know what I don't get? he obviously has another girl that is into him and vice versa. Shouldn't it be easier to be less resentful/bitter to the girl(aka me) who liked you? I mean he has someone else so what is the point of being so rude to me? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 I just saw him today and he was so hostile and rude that I said screw it. You know what I don't get? he obviously has another girl that is into him and vice versa. Shouldn't it be easier to be less resentful/bitter to the girl(aka me) who liked you? I mean he has someone else so what is the point of being so rude to me? Some guys are just d*cks. Seems this is his way of letting you know that he wants nothing to do with you. He wants you to figure out on your own that the friendship is over and to leave him alone. So, leave him alone and go on with your life, forget him. He's not worth any tears, heartache or anything. he's a jerk. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Avaa Posted February 23, 2011 Author Share Posted February 23, 2011 Some guys are just d*cks. Seems this is his way of letting you know that he wants nothing to do with you. He wants you to figure out on your own that the friendship is over and to leave him alone. So, leave him alone and go on with your life, forget him. He's not worth any tears, heartache or anything. he's a jerk. You're right. This is the best way to go about it. Funny how someone can go from being nice and respectful to all of a sudden switching it up on you. Thanka for your post. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Avaa Posted February 24, 2011 Author Share Posted February 24, 2011 Funny? I think it is funny that this guy gave you tons of hints that he didn't want to be friends, yet you kept pushing the issue. I think it is hilarious how many women have a completely different idea of what friendship is than most men, that is where the communication starts to break down. How many girls say BFFF to tons of girls, change groups once a year, and think calling a guy her friend means he is her friend? Men don't need women for anything but sex, if you aren't willing to give him that then don't bother becoming intimate on a personal level. Wow, you're quite negative aren't you? This may come as a surprise to you but guys are humans with emotions and feelings, not robots. I don't think this has anything to do with "I either date her or block her out of my life." He's liked me for a very long time, for a few months. I think the way he is acting out now is out of pure frustration and perhaps a few bruises on his ego. Anyways, he supposedly has someone else but can't help rub it in my face p.s. he is still ignoring me if anyone wanted to know..except for today when he told another co worker he has his heart set out on this chick. Cheesy much? Link to post Share on other sites
mick123 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I just saw it today and so I said screw it was hostile and rude. You know what I do not? He clearly is a girl she is and vice versa. Link to post Share on other sites
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