Where to go from here

[Hobax]

Hi, Im a new member here. I just turned 23 and find myself feeling like I am already in a midlife crisis. I got married to the love of my life last May. We have started to argue alot. Mostly about things I do...or do not do. I recognize that those are my faults but fail to really fix them in everyday life. I feel like I probably wasnt mature enough or really ready to get married now. Dont get me wrong, it was something I wanted but now I think that I am way behind for my age.

 

To put a long story short I was deprived of any good times in my teen years from 14 and up. My father took almost everything from my family to sell for crack. By 16 I was homeless living in car with my mom and 2 brothers. Needless to say I had to "grow up" quick. I had to steal in order to have just a single meal most days until I was 18.

 

Because of the things I have been through I feel like I was robbed of some of the most important years of my life. I am jealous of people who can talk back in reminiscence of their teenage years. Typing this up now infuriates me to the point of tears. Its like I dont want to grow up now. I want to live what I missed.

 

Can anybody help me? I know that I shouldnt waste my time with this kind of thinking but I cant help it. I should be investing into my life as it is now and my relationship with my wife. I just find it harder and harder when I figure out the reasons on how I think now.

[worlybear]

Hi, Im a new member here. I just turned 23 and find myself feeling like I am already in a midlife crisis. I got married to the love of my life last May. We have started to argue alot. Mostly about things I do...or do not do. I recognize that those are my faults but fail to really fix them in everyday life. I feel like I probably wasnt mature enough or really ready to get married now. Dont get me wrong, it was something I wanted but now I think that I am way behind for my age.

 

To put a long story short I was deprived of any good times in my teen years from 14 and up. My father took almost everything from my family to sell for crack. By 16 I was homeless living in car with my mom and 2 brothers. Needless to say I had to "grow up" quick. I had to steal in order to have just a single meal most days until I was 18.

 

Because of the things I have been through I feel like I was robbed of some of the most important years of my life. I am jealous of people who can talk back in reminiscence of their teenage years. Typing this up now infuriates me to the point of tears. Its like I dont want to grow up now. I want to live what I missed.

 

Can anybody help me? I know that I shouldnt waste my time with this kind of thinking but I cant help it. I should be investing into my life as it is now and my relationship with my wife. I just find it harder and harder when I figure out the reasons on how I think now.

You feel like this because you were robbed of your youth.

You sound very like my youngest son, who feels very bitter that his father also f****** up so spectacularly and left him to support his mum and young sister.

You need to talk this through with someone, so it doesn't poison your relationships and your future.

You need somehow to "let it go."

Please speak to a counsellor,

Hugs:bunny::bunny: