Flgirl44 Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 I have cheated in the past and im less likely to forgive cheating. Because I have cheated before, and im honest with myself about the motivations I know how selfish and uninterested the person must be in the relationship for cheating to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 Deal breaker. No trust, no relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 yes, she does. she expects, or at the very least hopes, that someone will give her a chance that she herself wouldn't be willing to give of someone else in the same situation. I don't see where she has said that. I see hopes, but I don't see unwilling. "I would be really hesitant about being with someone who had cheated before" As long as she accepts that anyone she dates would be really hesitant of dating her, there's no double standard. "an ongoing affair (more than one occasion within the same relationship), or if cheating had occurred in multiple prior relationships, I would be highly unlikely to continue dating that person" OP did not cheat multiple times, so no double standard. Link to post Share on other sites
notagame Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 Deal breaker. No trust, no relationship. Damn freaking right. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tigressA Posted February 23, 2011 Author Share Posted February 23, 2011 A reminder: I didn't intend this thread to be about my situation; I merely used it as an illustrator. Please stick to the topic at hand--being more or less likely to forgive and/or stay with a partner after cheating on you if you yourself had cheated before. Thanks. Flgirl44, that's an interesting perspective. Cheating is, at its core, an extremely selfish act. I would forgive someone for doing it to me, but I certainly would not stay with them and try to work things out. At first I didn't know why my feelings for my ex I had cheated on had changed after we worked things out, but after the relationship was over I realized it was because I had lost respect for him for electing to stay with me. Link to post Share on other sites
neveragain1 Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 I have cheated in the past and im less likely to forgive cheating. Because I have cheated before, and im honest with myself about the motivations I know how selfish and uninterested the person must be in the relationship for cheating to happen. so even though you cheated in the past, you would not understand of someone that has also cheated in the past? Link to post Share on other sites
neveragain1 Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 A reminder: I didn't intend this thread to be about my situation; I merely used it as an illustrator. Please stick to the topic at hand--being more or less likely to forgive and/or stay with a partner after cheating on you if you yourself had cheated before. Thanks. Topic at hand, no, I would not be with someone I know has cheated on someone else in the past. but if I had cheated in the past myself, I wouldn't consider myself on the high horse enough to deny a relationship to someone else that did the same thing as I did. I figure I'd understand that they would be in the same mindset as me. but since I haven't cheated on anyone, I don't have to worry about that double standard. Link to post Share on other sites
notagame Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 At first I didn't know why my feelings for my ex I had cheated on had changed after we worked things out, but after the relationship was over I realized it was because I had lost respect for him for electing to stay with me. How sad. You cheated he stayed and you hurt him again. Link to post Share on other sites
neveragain1 Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 At first I didn't know why my feelings for my ex I had cheated on had changed after we worked things out, but after the relationship was over I realized it was because I had lost respect for him for electing to stay with me. well then that would mean anyone that knows you are a cheater wouldn't command respect if they decided to be with you, no? Link to post Share on other sites
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