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Are most cheaters sociopaths?


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WorldIsYours
I want it known I never once said I was in a bag of chips! ;)

 

I wish there was more to respond here, but this seems to be it as far as provocation.

 

Not provocation, but more like realization.

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wheelwright
Not provocation, but more like realization.

 

If you think there is a realization, I would like you to state what it is. Otherwise I might go on in an uniformed and potentially self-hazardous way.

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WorldIsYours
If you think there is a realization, I would like you to state what it is. Otherwise I might go on in an uniformed and potentially self-hazardous way.

 

Wheelwright you know what the realization is. It doesn't have to be explained.

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dreamingoftigers
You're brave.

 

OK if you have more than one child you have to give up the other two.

You can never have more children (can't have anymore anyways from whet I have been told)

Every dream for your child that you were fully capable of realizing is gone

Every dream for yourself that you were fuly capable of realizing is gone

Flush your home down the toilet...really flush it down the toilet.

Flush your considerable savings/investments down the toilet. Every penny. (check)

Move and leave every freind and family member you have because the place you've made your home for the last 20 years is not feasible and you must move to some Godforsaken place that you deplore because it is feasible - yet depressing and isolating. (I call that 18 months ago, and have made screw friends since moving here, miss my family terribly in Ontario, so check)

Realize that you are now 39 and everything in your life is going to dissapear and you'll be spending the next 10 years at a minimum rebuilidng. And by rebuilding I mean rebuiling some semblance of a life that looks nothing llike what you could have had with or without your husband.

 

You've got me there, I am 28 and I have barely been touched in the last two years, I am in bankruptcy and have lost everything including the business that I spent almost two years building at a high time a physical price) plus I distinctly believe in no stone unturned before ending a marriage. I have oscillated in this slightly under stress, but I do not believe in divorce and especially not in remarriage. There is a 90%+ chance that I will not he touched by a man again. My body has aged easily 5-6 years in the last two. I have also dealt with the arrest of my husband.

 

There are many things that can feel like betrayal in marriage besides infidelity. If given the option I'll take the 3 monther. Painful, but i think i will be able to eventually heal enough to carry on without the ramifications destroying every aspect of my existence on earth.

 

Nice doing business with you.

 

Unfortunately the infidelity and addictive issues left a ****-strain so large and permanent on the emotional core of me that I often get the shakes and have trouble remembering things moment to moment. Hard to be a single mom like that plus have to go out and make enough to pay rent, tons of outstanding bills and childcare only to come home to a ****ty little basement without drywall on the ceiling and exposed insulation. Try doing business with me, I welcome it.

 

And I still see no sense to run out and whore myself, came close though, but no one held a gun to my head. I am sure no one held one to yours either. You don't get a free ticket to sleep around because things are tough. That's what makes us adults and role-models.

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another definition of a sociopath is one that "lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience."

 

so by this definition all cheaters are sociopaths, even if just for a while.

 

Well..if it is being defined by a simpleton or simplistically, sure-but we all know it takes more than just a definition to diagnose someone as a sociopath.

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What about cheating as a way of retaliating towards a cheater? If you read my story you'll know what I'm talking about.

If you get cheated on and in extreme rage, you cheat on them back but dump him/her afterwards how would you classify that as?

 

It is understandable but it is better just to end it. What I meant was that if monogamy is not a person's cup of tea just find like minded people and have all the non committed sex you want. There is no reason to lie to and deceive a person who thought they had a faithful partner.

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wow, who would have ever thought that Merriam-Webster are nothing but simpletons:o

 

Maybe someone should find out the difference between defining a label and diagnosing someone with that label ;)...

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knowing the difference doesn't change the fact.

 

if someone hurts someone else, doesn't care, and only cares about what they can get, then they ARE sociopaths.

 

and I reiterate my position to add-ignorant.

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wheelwright
When you think about it there really is no reason to be a cheater. Whatever kind of arrangement a person wants they can find somebody out there that wants the same and the internet has made it even easier. If a persons wants monogamy they can find somebody wants the same and ditto for polyamory or FWB or just a plain old one night stand. You can have whatever kind of thing you want and still be honest about it so why still cheat?

 

I honestly think that some people get off on the lying, dishonesty and sneaking around. They find it exciting. If a person gets kicks off of treating a person like that then in my book they are a sociopath.

 

Maybe when a person cheats they are thinking about themself. And not getting any kicks except those involved in their own life.

 

I notice in people who think other people do them wrong, those hurt people think the way other people are behaving is all about them.

 

It isn't to do with treating, but with living.

 

I cheated. I wasn't ready to end my R. I fell in love.

 

It was the latter that led me to cheat.

 

I don't feel that bad. I would feel bad if I upset my partner for meaningless sex on a regular basis. But I don't. Never have.

 

I don't get it, because I see that infidelity like mine involves love. And that should be allowed. There is no reason against it. And the more of it around, I guess the better.

 

We should love. We should. We should feel passion and allow that in another if we love them.

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WorldIsYours
I notice in people who think other people do them wrong, those hurt people think the way other people are behaving is all about them.

 

Yet cheaters are the ones who cause pain and only think about themselves.

 

It isn't to do with treating, but with living.

 

It does have to do with treating.

 

I cheated. I wasn't ready to end my R. I fell in love.

 

You didn't fall in love. Lust.

 

It was the latter that led me to cheat.

 

You made yourself cheat.

 

I don't feel that bad. I would feel bad if I upset my partner for meaningless sex on a regular basis. But I don't. Never have.

 

You don't feel bad for cheating but you feel your husband is wrong for saying something out of anger.:rolleyes:

 

I don't get it, because I see that infidelity like mine involves love. And that should be allowed. There is no reason against it. And the more of it around, I guess the better.

 

So deception, betrayal, disrespect, and risking people's lives should be accepted. So cheaters should be allowed to screw around and if the BS can't accept it, screw them.:rolleyes:

 

We should love. We should. We should feel passion and allow that in another if we love them.

 

We should love, I agree, but cheating is not love.

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LadyRashomon

This is the reason I don't get involve relationships. I wouldn't last one second without wondering off. I would be an awful GF.

 

I don't want men suffering from broken hearts or getting myself into these dramas.

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LifesontheUp
Maybe when a person cheats they are thinking about themself. And not getting any kicks except those involved in their own life.

 

I notice in people who think other people do them wrong, those hurt people think the way other people are behaving is all about them.

 

It isn't to do with treating, but with living.

 

I cheated. I wasn't ready to end my R. I fell in love.

 

It was the latter that led me to cheat.

 

I don't feel that bad. I would feel bad if I upset my partner for meaningless sex on a regular basis. But I don't. Never have.

 

I don't get it, because I see that infidelity like mine involves love. And that should be allowed. There is no reason against it. And the more of it around, I guess the better.

 

We should love. We should. We should feel passion and allow that in another if we love them.

 

Wow so it makes it ok to upset your partner as long as the sex with OM meant something to you.

 

Do you have any remorse for the hurt you caused your husband? or is it all about you?

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Hi Wheelwright.

I too believe in love, I believe in it absolutely 100%. However. in response to the following I would comment (all general you's) that:

 

[B]I don't get it, because I see that infidelity like mine involves love. And that should be allowed. There is no reason against it. And the more of it around, I guess the better.

 

]My marriage involved love, heaps and heaps of it, in love, loving, being in love, passionate love. Thing is, I chose to share that love and part of the reason I felt that love is because I believed the man I had loved (still do) for over 20 years shared the same values, beliefs and commitment to our relationship as I. IF he had fallen out of love with me and us, then he should have had the decency to speak to me and tell me to see if I was happy to continue with our marriage and relationship based upon our once commonly held ideas and beliefs about US.

 

The reason against it is quite simply the hurt, the deceit and the lying to another to whom you have painted a false picture of reality to. The other reason is that if the love you (general you) share with another is so right, it shouldn't be hidden, but out there and shouted from the rooftops. Sorry, but anything that has as it's base the capacity to hurt another, is based in deceit and lies is not right, it is never right and I shudder to think of anyone going through the pain of a betrayal, never mind anymore of it. Open marriages are different, they imply choice.

 

We should love. We should. We should feel passion and allow that in another if we love them.

 

Of course we should all love, feel love have pasion in our lives. BUT we should all have the choice to determine if we are happy for the person to whom we entrust with our hearts, love and trust to be intimate with another. Freedom to choose whom we love and freedom to choose how we conduct our relationships should never be at the expense of hurting another, ever. Feel love, feel passion, feel free to be with anyone that provides that, but base it on being honest with the person you promised exclusivity to - I have respect for truth, I sure don't have respect for infidelity.

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