I can't handle it (b/f might have baby on the way)

[bittersweet]

In the last 3 weeks, my life turned completely over. I am a 25 yr old college student who has been dating the same guy for 6 years. I found out he was cheating for a few months. I needed time and space and in my heart I wanted to be with him still forever, like we planned. We talked a lot about what we needed to do. Our relationship wasn't going anywhere and that was his excuse for cheating.

 

We spoke everyday since we split 3 weeks ago and I could honestly say I was willing to give it a try in the future again. Meanwhile, the girl he was messing with kept calling him and so he told her they can't talk any longer.

 

NOW, she is saying she is pregnant. He got her pregnant in January and they went for an abortion. Well, she is saying now that she lied about going through with it.

 

I can't eat...I can't sleep. He had to go two hours away this weekend to find out the truth and he knows there could never be ANYTHING b/w me and him if this girl is having his kid. They both are in no condition to have a child.

 

I know I shouldn't be with him anyway b/c he cheated... but this is different. Some couples can get through that cheating thing and work their problems out. I may never have that chance. Its really hard for me b/c he was in my life for 6 years and I always saw him being the father of my children. NOw, no matter what, that might not be possible anymore.

 

I'm scared to get his call. I know this will be something very hard for me to handle. My stomach turns when I think about it. I rather leave him for any other reason than this one. This is something that time will never heal or change. I'll have to think about it everyday of my life. No matter how much he and I would want to be together... no matter how many apologes... no matter how much love... this will always be in the way.

 

My friends and family are concerned for me. They don't know what is going on (embarressed) but they can tell something is really wrong. I lost 13 pounds in almost 3 weeks. I drink coffee and have a bagel- that's it. I'm so scared of what will happen next and KNOW I won't be able to handle hearing she IS pregnant.

[sportsloving]

IF she is pregnant, your life will go on. Just drinking coffee and eating a bagel isn't healthy, losing weight the way you are isn't healthy... and if you are to have any type of relationship with anyone (including yourself) you are going to need to be healthy.

 

As I said life will go on, maybe not the way you had imagined but it will go on. And you will deal the best way you can! Being cheated on is horrible, knowing that he may have a baby with her ... can't even imagine. But as you said if neither of them are in condition to raise a child, there are many options out there (adoption for instance). Could be she is just trying to scare him into staying with her.

 

But you are making/or will make yourself sick if you continue to ignore your health over it. Whatever happens, just know that you will have support (friends, family, here, counseling etc). This isn't the end of the world, just feels like it sometimes!

 

And you have nothing to be embarassed about... but if it is hard to talk to anyone about it, perhaps wait til you find out IF she really is pregnant before you have to share the news.

 

I wish you the best of luck and will keep my fingers crossed that perhaps it is just a ploy on her end~