tendu Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 Everyone asks how he proposed. As if there's supposed to be this staged moment with an element of romantic surprise. I feel as if I may have missed out. I don't have that kind of a story and sometimes feel bad about it/ get very jealous over other people's wedding proposals.. particularly if I witnessed one, or when I ran into my brother in law looking at rings with his girlfriend. my story.. bear with me. My dh and I, we've been together for 9 happy years. Things happened according to unplanned circumstances. I returned to school. his house was closer to campus. I had no health insurance since I was unemployed before becoming self employed. Our first talk about marriage came when I needed to take some super expensive meds. My dh simply asked before falling asleep one night, rolled over and fell asleep, in the manner that you would ask someone if they wanted pancakes. I love him dearly and was thrilled he asked. we would have planned a small wedding... somthing more romantic with the gown, and the entire family, but got married a year later at city hall when I had an urgent medical problem that couldn't wait till the next month. Maybe gushing romantic wedding proposals are an American cultural thing? Am I really odd for not having the romantic proposals that everyone my age seems to gush about? like the genuflecting man on valentine's day and his fiance with mascara running down her cheeks. I dislike feeling so jealous of other people's proposals. I realize I can't turn back the clock/it's petty and just have to deal, but I dislike feeling this way and being this jealous ogre. It's the marriage that matters the most, not the whistles and bells...darn it I know that, but did I really miss out on something I should have had? Any similar experiences? Link to post Share on other sites
Eeyore79 Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 My ex proposed to me in the same crappy kind of way. I'm actually glad that I refused and dumped him, so I still have a chance to be proposed to properly. In your case, you can't turn back the clock so worrying about it now is pointless. Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 It's the marriage that matters the most, not the whistles and bells...darn it I know that, but did I really miss out on something I should have had? you hit the nail on the head with that remark. who says you cannot have a party or the wedding of dreams after you are married? nobody. you two could renew your vows and have a 'wedding' like you would have wanted to. Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyLady13 Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 Tendu, I have two things to say... One: I agree wholeheartedly with laRubiaBonita. You're older now and you and your husband have both grown as people and learned a lot. You have time now to plan things so much better than before! Who cares what "the norm" is supposed to be. American dreams aren't American realities. Two: You know how sometimes finding out someone has it worse than you makes you feel better and appreciate what you do have? I can't have my family at my wedding. My parents and sister are violent drug addicts and to top it off, my mother is genuinely psychotic. Having them at my wedding is a recipe for a disaster! My mother feels nothing for anyone and goes into rages every time I've tried to have something (or someone) in my life. She's a stalker, harasses people, throws things at people and goes into rages...at birthday parties. There's no way my crazy family can even know when I'm getting married or where because I don't want to have to call the cops at my wedding to haul those nuts out of there. I have no chance really for "the norm" but I'm fine with that. It makes things a little confusing for me and I have to get creative and inventive to still have things turn out...nice. You can still have the engagement and wedding of your dreams. There's no time like the present! Link to post Share on other sites
walshy2 Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 Hi Tendu, do not live in the past live for today! Go out and renew your vows life to short. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted February 26, 2011 Share Posted February 26, 2011 wedding proposal story Am I out of the norm? No, you are not out of the norm. Many, many couples become engaged and married for exactly the same reason you mention. I'm guessing that what you are missing most is the randomness (good and bad) of the vast number of engagement stories you've heard. Most importantly, you can only know ONE unique engagement story for each marriage, and just to look at so many while possessing only one of your own just might let you feel dissatisfied. In reality... the true "real world" that is... the CLEAR meaning of your engagement was much more easy to see than is the reason why random guy "A" opts to propose to girl "B" in random way "C". Try to find ways to feel better about how you came to be engaged, because it really was practical. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts