Intense Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 I've been married since 1997. I found out in 2008 that my husband had been using prostitues regularly for about 10 years of our marriage. He is the one who told me. Thats how I found out. I tried to hang in there but I realized that I cannot. He was very stealthy about it, no clues, and I trusted him. We have children together and he had two from before. One of them was acting up so badly for many years and finally one day he pulled a knife on me in my kitchen. That was the day I left. It was almost one year ago. He still wants me back and keeps begging me. I'm not going back and I have the two children, my children, with me. It has been hard for me but I think that sometimes he makes it seem like its been harder for him. Does anyone have any words for or against me leaving. I know you dont have all the details but any input would be appreciated. I cant tell anyone else about it. Thanks!! Link to post Share on other sites
You Go Girl Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 I really wouldn't consider reconciliation with a person with very threatening violent tendencies. It could lead the next time to him using that knife. Please take care of yourself and your children and put you and them first. Put this guy last, after the cockroaches on the planet. If you give in and reconcile--maybe next time he threatens your life in front of the children, or worse. Seek therapy if you find yourself feeling weak BEFORE you act on anything. I think low to no contact best. As for the prostitutes---what can be said except a sexist pig that is extremely selfish. These type of people don't cure themselves in a year, and more than likely, ever. It's all too extreme. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 I read the OP as one of the H's children (with a different mother?) pulled the knife, but perhaps the OP can clarify. Either way, what would possibly be the advantages to you or your children of going back? It sounds like the main draw is he is begging you, but you also sound resolute that you are not going... Are there any significant pros and cons you have been weighing? Link to post Share on other sites
notagame Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 I've been married since 1997. I found out in 2008 that my husband had been using prostitues regularly for about 10 years of our marriage. He is the one who told me. Thats how I found out. I tried to hang in there but I realized that I cannot. He was very stealthy about it, no clues, and I trusted him. We have children together and he had two from before. One of them was acting up so badly for many years and finally one day he pulled a knife on me in my kitchen. That was the day I left. It was almost one year ago. He still wants me back and keeps begging me. I'm not going back and I have the two children, my children, with me. It has been hard for me but I think that sometimes he makes it seem like its been harder for him. Does anyone have any words for or against me leaving. I know you dont have all the details but any input would be appreciated. I cant tell anyone else about it. Thanks!! He cheated on you for years at a time, put your life at risk and then pulled a knife on you. The guy is a sick unremorseful bastard and you know you need to continue staying away from him to keep the kids safe. Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 As much as i lobby for people to try and salvage their marriages, there are some that need to end and yours definitely qualifies. Carry no guilt, you've done the right thing for you and your kids. Good luck to you. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
wheream_i Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 A marriage after cheating maaaaybe can be salvaged. But cheating with hookers? For a full decade? I don't think so. And this is coming from a male who has been caught cheating on my SO. But never cheated with hookers. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 A marriage after cheating maaaaybe can be salvaged. But cheating with hookers? For a full decade? I don't think so. And this is coming from a male who has been caught cheating on my SO. But never cheated with hookers. ... now that would be wrong! Link to post Share on other sites
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