Very confused in California.

[Charlie Digital]

Okay guys.... here's my situation. Well, let me start off by saying I'm not that great of a writer but, I will try to put in every single detail possible. Now that that's settled, here we go.... I have an ex girlfriend who's also my son's mother... She's 22, I'm 23, our son is 5 1/2.

 

Okay.. we broke up a long time ago, like a couple years, because she thought I took her for granted, was lazy, and didn't focus on our child enough. I can agree with these things now looking back though... She has since dated a bit, been in a somewhat long term that ended up pretty bad (he hit her) During that time, I wasn't being a good father.. I never came around because I let me jealousy overtake my responsibility for my son...

 

Well this winter, I finally decided to do the right thing as a dad and start coming around regardless. To my suprise, she was single, acting like a wonderful person (that's shocking because, there were times when I thought she was the anti-christ) and we were hitting it off again, or so it seemed. I would come around, take my son places and as I was leaving, she'd follow me out to my car to talk to me for half an hour here and there.. I thought, that's odd but whatever. Things even got to the point where she'd tell me that she loves me, there's NO resentment anymore, that she wanted me to come down to hang out with her and her friends... But the biggest bomb she dropped on me was, she wanted to have a second child with me! I thought while that's weird (weird because she was like, I dont wanna get married, or be in a relationship right now, but I want your kid) it probably meant I was somewhat in with her again... So things were awesome for a couple months...

 

Well, something happened where I ended up not coming to see my son for about a month.. We played phone tag and I could never get in touch with her to set up a meeting.. Well, I finally caught up with her and she was TOTALLY different.. She seemed like that same distant girl she was before.. Do you think she met someone, she's hurt because I didn't get in touch in a month, or what? That's where we are now. I went over there today and, instead of her being that awesome chick she was a month or so ago, she's now acting EXACTLY like she used to act when I tried to go see my son when she was in another relationship (she has trouble looking at me, no smiles, so matter of fact) I don't know what the deal is with her... She has this new group of friends she hangs with (mostly guys) and she dresses alot sexier than she used to.. Maybe she's just going all diva on me and doesn't think I'm worthy (but what the hell, why would she stress to me, in front of her best friend mind you, that she wants to have another child with me?) I'm so lost guys... I tried to put in alot of details... I hope you can decipher this garbled message... Thanks for reading.

[dyermaker]

I'm not quite sure how to solve your problems, but I can assure you having another child with her isn't going to fix them.

[sportsloving]

Concentrate on your child and forget the mother.

[Charlie Digital]

LOL.. thanks for the advice Serious though, can anyone decipher this chick?

[Velveteel]

She sounds inconsistent. But you also sound as if you don't know her very well. Could you ask her sometime? Wait until she's nice again, and just calmly and respectfully say that you noticed a change in her, and you wanted to talk about what it might mean.

 

I think it's possible she's started to date someone new, and has given up--for the moment--this fantasy of having another kid with you. It doesn't really matter. The big picture is that you're being a good father now (dont let another month go by without seeing your child, ever!) and that friendly relations with your ex are just a healthy part of that. Try to overlook her moods. They probably have little to do with you.