static_angel Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 Okay, so the story goes: I have been with my current partner nearly 6 years, (we met when I was 18) have 2 beautiful boys and are planning our wedding for April next year. The thing is, for the last 9 months or so I just haven't been feeling "connected" like I used to. I do love him, but I don't know if I'm in love with him anymore. I don't want to be with another man either. So confused... Link to post Share on other sites
prettylady01 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Love is a verb. It is an action. It doesn't just happen. People say we can't choose who we love but that is just not true. Love takes work. If you do not feel connected to him then create the environment for the connection. Being with him for that long im sure you know what he likes and doesn't like, you know what you like and don't like. In the beginning you were connected so maybe get back to the roots and create that spark again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author static_angel Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 "This statement is troubling as it indicates an immaturity in your thinking about expectations in a relationship" of course I have an immature way of thinking, this has been my first and only relationship! more info? like what exactly? we met when I was 18, and he was 30, I moved to melbourne and he moved to Queensland, we didn't see each other for 9 months, I moved in with him then fell pregnant 2 months later. Our sex life now is pretty well non existant, because I never feel like it (am waiting on blood test results to check my hormone levels). I am planning on joining the police force which my partner dislikes, he is inesanely paranoid that i am going to cheat on him or leave him from someone else. I never had any doubts about our relationship until during a fight one night (about the police force) he said to me "well, we're going to break up after you join the police force" and ever since then i've just felt that since he's already convinced we're going to break up, what are we still doing here? I really need advice because i have no one else i can talk to about this and its starting to do my head in Link to post Share on other sites
Alma Mobley Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 It sounds like he is pushing you away with his insecurity and paranoia, which is also making you question your love for him. He's also being controlling about your career change. You should look into pre-marital counseling if you want to save this relationship. Any chance he's projecting about the cheating? Just wondering. Link to post Share on other sites
Author static_angel Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 I have told him that it feels like he's pushing me away, but he thinks its just another excuse for my distance. Also, you're not the first person to suggest about the cheating, and I have wondered myself, but he's mostly at work (he's a boilermaker, so it's a workshop full of guys) or home. I don't think he would cheat on me, but if he's not getting any at home?! I mean, I have some insecurities too, he used to manage strippers and stuff, also hasn't been shy in telling me about going home with a different girl every weekend before we were together and a few years ago I found out that I'm the 8th girl he's gotten pregnant (they were all terminated as far as I know) Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts