I Am a GUEST in HER Apartment

[ARDriver01]

My girlfriend of 3 years is an apartment manager for our complex. She's payed $9 an hour but we get a 1000sq ft apartment, no rent and payed utilities.

 

I pay the cable and insurance. I also give her $300 a month to be fair. The reason for this is that I make twice what she does.

 

Last week, she got mad at me; The idiots upstairs threw a glass in front of our door and had flicked ciggarette butts into our bushes. I calmly and sternly told them to go clean up my pourch. Apparently "I'm not allowed to do that."

 

Recently, a resident complained to one of the other managers that I had asked them to tell their kids to stop screaming in the courtyard-A YEAR AGO. So, I also heard about that from my girlfriend and she again, reminded me of my place in our living situation.

 

According to her company, I'm a guest in the apartment and at any time, they can ask me to leave within 5 days. It doesn't matter that I pay $300 rent to my girlfriend, I don't have any rights as a "resident" or "tenant" and I'm not "allowed" to talk to residents or ask them to be quiet because that would be a conflict of interest.

 

I did sign a contract stating that I was not on the lease, but nowhere on the contract did it say anything about regulating my rights to quiet enjoyment of my home.

 

Frankly, I think it's mean and stupid for my girlfriend to alienate me by siding with her company on this. I would like for her to be like "I know babe, its a stupid policy but..." but, no she's all like "You just live here, you're a guest, you have no rights! I'm tired of talking to you about this! I don't want to have this conversation again! You can't tell people to keep it down or whatever! You don't have the right to do that!!!" (her words)

 

If her company where to sue me for telling somebody to turn down their music, I'm pretty sure the court would side with me, and I'm also pretty sure that their little "guest contract" thingy is voidable. I'm also pretty sure that my girlfriend is treading dangeroulsy on our relationship.

 

Thoughts...

[laRubiaBonita]

my thoughts- it's true, you are a guest.

 

now not knowing Landlord/ Tenant (L/T) rights for your area, i cannot say for sure whether or not you have other rights afforded to you as an occupant (you most likely do).

 

But since your GF works for the Apt. Comp.; she too has a contract, and if she loses her job with them in most cases, she would have to vacate the unit almost immediately.

 

because the apt. is a perk of her employment the circumstances differ from an actual tenant.

 

start looking to see what your rights are, states usually have laws/ codes for tenants and more local jurisdictions may also have more specific codes.

[GorillaTheater]

I don't know much about landlord/tenant law, but it's tough for me to see how you're "out of line" by enforcing your boundaries regarding respect with the neighbors. I suppose she may be worried about losing her job, hence the apartment, but I'm with you on the disrespectful tone you're getting.

 

I think you'd be better served to forget about rights you may or may not have, and find your own place. You'll be happier, and your relationship will likely stand a better chance. As it is, it's not looking too good.

[Lauriebell82]

Why are you not on the lease if you live their full time? Are you not allowed to be? Or you just don't want to?

If you were on the lease would you be able to tell the neighbors to be quiet?

[xpaperxcutx]

Legally speaking, you are a guest. And your gf is considered " caretaker" since the apartment is only in her name as long as she's working for the company. You are putting her in a sticky situation because she will get evicted if she gets fired. So yes, if she's taking the company's side, it's because she has a alot to lose.

 

Learn to pick your battles and be reasonable.

[laRubiaBonita]

i think the GF doesn't want the OP to communicate directly with the other tenants in the complex because:

 

1. as the community manager the GF should be the one to direct the tenants- and she should be doing that in writing, not verbally.

 

2. what if the OP tells another resident to "shut up" and that tenant gets pissed off and retaliates by writing the regional managers a letter saying that the communitty managers guest (the OP) verbally assaulted them. then the GF would be in a sticky situation and possibly lose her job and her home- even though the pissy tenant was lying.

 

the OP cannot be on the lease because i am guessing it is an employment cotract and lease all in one specific for the GF. AND the OP did voluntarily sign the "guest contract", so he seals his fate with that.

 

It doesn't matter to the regional managers if OP pays his GF $300 for living expenses, nor that he pays for cable or insurance. they do not see that money and you are the guest on their property.

 

you either live there and live under the rules set forth (rules from your GF's employer not her)- or you move..... but check your guest contract and make sure you do not have to provide any notice- and if you do have to provide notice i would be interested if was more than 5 days.

 

simple.

[Quiet Storm]

I can see how she would be worried about this.

 

If she does not abide by the rules, she could lose her job. Then you both would not have a place to live.

 

You took an action that could affect her livelihood. Since you are technically just a "guest", you should complain to the resident and the resident can decide whether to make a complaint to the rental office. If you know about this rule and choose not to abide, then she probably thinks you are being disrespectful to her, which explains her attitude about it. I get why you were upset with the neighbor, but you could have let her handle the matter.

 

If you don't like this arrangment, then you should rent a place for the two of you. If she doesn't live in the complex where she works, her salary will likely be increased and then she can contribute to your rent.

 

Sometimes perks come with strings attached. You want no strings, but are happily taking advantage of the perks.

 

I really don't know what you are complaining about...free rent, utilities and you pay $300 a month AND you are making twice as much as her. If you can't give up your right to complain for this great deal you have going on here, then you should take the initiate and move somewhere else.

[StoneCold]

If I were you I'd be more worried about where my relationship is headed If I stay in a living situation like this

[Untouchable_Fire]

My girlfriend of 3 years is an apartment manager for our complex. She's payed $9 an hour but we get a 1000sq ft apartment, no rent and payed utilities.

 

I pay the cable and insurance. I also give her $300 a month to be fair. The reason for this is that I make twice what she does.

 

I did sign a contract stating that I was not on the lease, but nowhere on the contract did it say anything about regulating my rights to quiet enjoyment of my home.

 

Stop paying her $300 a month!! Don't talk to other residents. You are not on the lease. Problem solved.

[threebyfate]

The conflict of interest mentioned makes no sense. You have the freedom to say whatever you want as long as it doesn't break any hush agreements that you've signed or doesn't break any laws or bylaws.

 

Your girlfriend is protecting her livelihood by siding with the company. Unless you're willing to support her if she loses her job/home because of your actions, it's probably best to let her handle any complaints that you have with other tenants.

 

Consider it this way. If she received an income instead of free rent and had a disagreement with another employee where you went to her workplace and started harassing this other employee, she would be allocated the responsibility of telling you to back off.

 

Also, the $300 that you pay to her. Does it cover food too?

[ARDriver01]

Most of you are right, I suppose.

 

I certainly should pick my battles however, I'm confident (like in the last post) that unless I break some kind of confidentiality, I can say whatever I want as long as it's not in a threatening manner.

 

She just seems adament about making sure that I know that it's HER place and not mine; which will change when we have a house and I'm still the bread winner. Difference is, I won't make her feel subordinate.

 

Thanks you guys. You're the best.

[whichwayisup]

She just seems adament about making sure that I know that it's HER place and not mine; which will change when we have a house and I'm still the bread winner. Difference is, I won't make her feel subordinate.

Make sure she knows this is how she's making you feel.

 

BTW, you had every right to say something to the people who threw their smokes in your bushes and broke a glass infront of your door.

 

The noise thing? Well, get used to it. When you buy a house and live in a neighbourhood, you can't go telling kids to be quiet when they're playing outside..Unless it's 6am! Or after midnight.

[laRubiaBonita]

BTW, you had every right to say something to the people who threw their smokes in your bushes and broke a glass infront of your door.

 

i this instance the police should have been called and a notice of breach of lease should have been given- IMPO

[curiousnycgirl]

I agree. If you have no say so what goes on in/around the apartment, why should you pay for it?

 

Um....because he has a roof over his head?

 

I agree with most of the other posters, but you should not be made to feel subordinate - you need to have a discussion with your g/f and clear the air.

 

Out of curiousity how would she handle the exact same situation if you two were married?

[laRubiaBonita]

Out of curiousity how would she handle the exact same situation if you two were married?

 

i think he would then be allowed on the lease b/c he is family..... but the treatment i dunno?

[soserious1]

Most of you are right, I suppose.

 

I certainly should pick my battles however, I'm confident (like in the last post) that unless I break some kind of confidentiality, I can say whatever I want as long as it's not in a threatening manner.

 

She just seems adament about making sure that I know that it's HER place and not mine; which will change when we have a house and I'm still the bread winner. Difference is, I won't make her feel subordinate.

 

Thanks you guys. You're the best.

 

That's the thing though... you aren't married, she only gets that apt as part of her job, when you go and speak to the tenants you're putting her job and her housing at risk.

 

If you have a problem with tenants there why not give your girlfriend the respect of telling her & letting her handle it?

[max2go]

GET A PLACE OF YOUR OWN.................you are in a vulnerable situation and need to establish yourself as an independant person, not beholding to your partner nor living by other's rules when you are clearly paying through the nose for it............

[soserious1]

GET A PLACE OF YOUR OWN.................you are in a vulnerable situation and need to establish yourself as an independant person, not beholding to your partner nor living by other's rules when you are clearly paying through the nose for it............

 

On what planet is kicking in $300 a month towards living expenses "paying through the nose" ?

[lonelyandfrustrated]

If you were her husband, you would have more rights about 'her' apartment. Try not shacking up in the future.

[NoIDidn't]

I see the OP as a guest as well. I can understand that he feels subordinate, but that's because he is. She only gets the apartment because of her employment with the management firm. Based on the salary that she gets, she probably couldn't afford the apartment.

 

The OP does need to pick his battles better. It could also be his tone of voice with the actual paying tenants that is causing the problem.

 

Getting another place and actually being a tenant would solve some of this. But I hope it doesn't lead to the OP turning around and being rude to his GF because of this current situation.

 

Its sticky, but she's right. He's a Guest in the apartment owned by her employer and should stop doing things to anger their tenants. Its perfectly reasonable for a paying tenant to request that someone clean up their mess, but people aren't too keen on knowing the guy complaining to them is there rent free and living with the property manager.

[knitwit]

Recently, a resident complained to one of the other managers that I had asked them to tell their kids to stop screaming in the courtyard-A YEAR AGO. So, I also heard about that from my girlfriend and she again, reminded me of my place in our living situation.

 

...Frankly, I think it's mean and stupid for my girlfriend to alienate me by siding with her company on this. I would like for her to be like "I know babe, its a stupid policy but..." but, no she's all like "You just live here, you're a guest, you have no rights! I'm tired of talking to you about this! I don't want to have this conversation again! You can't tell people to keep it down or whatever! You don't have the right to do that!!!" (her words)

 

If her company where to sue me for telling somebody to turn down their music, I'm pretty sure the court would side with me, and I'm also pretty sure that their little "guest contract" thingy is voidable. I'm also pretty sure that my girlfriend is treading dangeroulsy on our relationship.

 

Thoughts...

 

Since you asked- if I am reading this right, I can totally understand where your GF is coming from.

 

In different circumstances- like if you were renting your own place and your GF wasn't the manager- I would applaud you for sticking up for your rights and talking (calmly, per your post) to your neighbors.

 

However, your situation is not normal. Your GF is the manager. It is her place to talk to the neighbors about breaking the rules, not yours. In this situation, you sort of undermine her by going and having these talks on your own.

 

Imagine if your manager at work had something to say to you, but she sent her S/O to do it instead.

 

If I were a tenant at the complex you're staying in, I would be very pissed off if you, and not her, decided to come talk to me about sticking with the rules. I would definitely put a call into the owner of the company.

 

So even if it was not your intention, you put your GF in a bad situation.

 

Worse- from your post, it looks like you've done this more than once. So she's probably heard it from her boss twice now- she has two strikes against her on this issue. I can see why she really wants you to get why your actions were damaging and is pretty angry about it.

 

You still don't really seem to get it. You do not have the sames right as a tenant because you are NOT a tenant. In fact, not even your GF is really a tenant- she doesn't have the same rights as a tenant and she has a lot more responsibility. If the property owners were going to sue anyone, they would sue your GF and not you, even if the issue was your talking to the neighbors.

 

Lastly- it is bad enough to lose your job, or to lose your house. Your actions are making it possible for her to lose BOTH her house AND her JOB at the same time. This is a HORRIBLE situation to be in. How will she get an apt if she doesn't have a job???

 

You are angry about her making you feel "less than", but you are threatening her livelihood and the home for both of you.

 

Really, I think you owe her an apology. Again, in different circumstances, your actions would NOT be bad at all, and even admirable. But you are in different circumstances at this time. You can tell her that you'd rather she talk to you in a nicer manner, but you really need to own what you're doing that is ticking her off.

 

My opinion only. Since you asked.

[xpaperxcutx]

Since you asked- if I am reading this right, I can totally understand where your GF is coming from.

 

In different circumstances- like if you were renting your own place and your GF wasn't the manager- I would applaud you for sticking up for your rights and talking (calmly, per your post) to your neighbors.

 

However, your situation is not normal. Your GF is the manager. It is her place to talk to the neighbors about breaking the rules, not yours. In this situation, you sort of undermine her by going and having these talks on your own.

 

Imagine if your manager at work had something to say to you, but she sent her S/O to do it instead.

 

If I were a tenant at the complex you're staying in, I would be very pissed off if you, and not her, decided to come talk to me about sticking with the rules. I would definitely put a call into the owner of the company.

 

So even if it was not your intention, you put your GF in a bad situation.

 

Worse- from your post, it looks like you've done this more than once. So she's probably heard it from her boss twice now- she has two strikes against her on this issue. I can see why she really wants you to get why your actions were damaging and is pretty angry about it.

 

You still don't really seem to get it. You do not have the sames right as a tenant because you are NOT a tenant. In fact, not even your GF is really a tenant- she doesn't have the same rights as a tenant and she has a lot more responsibility. If the property owners were going to sue anyone, they would sue your GF and not you, even if the issue was your talking to the neighbors.

 

Lastly- it is bad enough to lose your job, or to lose your house. Your actions are making it possible for her to lose BOTH her house AND her JOB at the same time. This is a HORRIBLE situation to be in. How will she get an apt if she doesn't have a job???

 

You are angry about her making you feel "less than", but you are threatening her livelihood and the home for both of you.

 

Really, I think you owe her an apology. Again, in different circumstances, your actions would NOT be bad at all, and even admirable. But you are in different circumstances at this time. You can tell her that you'd rather she talk to you in a nicer manner, but you really need to own what you're doing that is ticking her off.

 

My opinion only. Since you asked.

 

 

Awesome answer.

[Art_Critic]

Really man, wake up. You two are given a free apt to live in that would otherwise cost over a 1000 dollars a month and you want her to pick a fight with her boss potentially ending with her being unemployed with nowhere to live over a little problem?

 

Also, if you have had a problem with two different neighbors that resulted in them reporting you to the office than maybe there is something wrong with the way you communicate with your neighbors.

 

 

Suck it up and enjoy the free rent, save some money so you can buy your own place.

 

I like this post and want to add that if you can't just suck it up and be kind to your GF then you need to man up and get your own place.

You live with her and rent is paid for by her.. just because you toss in a few hundred a month doesn't mean you pay for yourself.. she does that by working there.

[max2go]

On what planet is kicking in $300 a month towards living expenses "paying through the nose" ?

 

 

.....i somehow expect its not all youre paying...........

[doug44]

The other posters are correct -- you are the one being disrespectful to your GF. If she was renting the apartment it would be a completely different situation and you would be in the right.